


Tabloid Talks

by ProphetStill_IfBirdOrDevil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (I would tag this rock star but he's more of a Taylor Swift really), Alternate Universe, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Dad Castiel, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Gay Sex, M/M, Pop Star Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, fake dating au, they're both in love but think it's unrequited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-22 10:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30037146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProphetStill_IfBirdOrDevil/pseuds/ProphetStill_IfBirdOrDevil
Summary: When his daughter accidentally dropped her ice cream on that stranger with the expensive clothes, Cas was embarrassed, but he didn't think it would change his life. He didn't expect to be offered a job by that man the same day, and he definitely didn't expect to become a trending twitter topic only days later. And even though he noticed the man's incredibly beautiful eyes right away, he absolutely did not expect to fall in love with him as hard as he did.Or, the one where Claire covers international pop star Dean Winchester in ice cream.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 55
Kudos: 109





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *pulls a pile of loose paper out and slams it on the table* Destiel Fake Dating AU!  
> I've got 82k words of this ready (yikes), chapters will go online as I manage to edit them (aka, fast. I got no life.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

It was a nice spring day. The sun had finally come out after weeks full of cloudy and rainy days, and Cas was more than happy to utilize the great weather and take Claire on a walk. His 4-year-old daughter had been extraordinarily hyperactive the last couple days, constantly asking him to go outside, to go to the playground, or at one point last week to go and see some dogs, as if he could have magically made some dogs appear for her to pet.

Today though, the weather was nice, the sun was shining, and Cas was walking through town, holding Claire's hand at all times. The little girl was happily licking at the ice cream she had spent the last 5 minutes begging for and had now tightly grabbed in her little fist.

Yes, Claire was extremely happy with how that day went so far, and as a way of expressing her happiness, she started jumping on Cas's side.

He told her not to do it, told her to stop, but it was too late already.

Right as Cas said she should be careful, she tripped.

The little girl tripped over her own feet and fell to the front. Her father tried to stop the fall by pulled her hand back, but he was too slow.

She fell onto the hard ground, and her precious ice cream flew through the air for maybe a second before it landed on an oncoming pedestrian.

Cas didn't realize that right away. His first reaction was to check on Claire, who was now down on the ground crying and holding her little knee.

While he was crouching down next to his daughter and trying to calm her enough to let him see her knee, the man who had just been attacked by some flying ice cream stood there in surprise. He looked down on his leather jacket that now had a big stain of melting ice cream on it - probably vanilla, judging by the colour -, then, after the first surprise, he looked up again and saw the crying child with its concerned father next to it, trying to calm it.

Within a second, he had crouched down next to Cas.

"Hey," he said, "is anyone hurt? Can I help?"

Only as he heard an unfamiliar voice, Cas noticed there was someone right next to him.

He turned for just a second to see the man next to him. He had a slightly concerned expression on his face, as much as Cas could tell with the man's sunglasses hiding his eyes. The next thing he noticed was the probably rather expensive black leather jacket that the man was wearing and that now had a big ice cream stain on it.

"Oh my God," he said, "Did she do that with the ice cream? I'm so sorry! God I-"

"Oh don't worry about it," the man smiled. "It's a leather jacket, I can just wipe it off. No big deal. You've got a crying kid right here"

Still with a smile on his face, the man now turned to Claire.

"Hey," he said calmly, "Hey, look, I know. But if you don't stop crying for a second and tell your Daddy what's wrong, he can't help you"

Claire indeed stopped crying abruptly and instead stared up at the stranger with widened eyes. Cas observed with a chuckle how she stared at him in total silence for a moment and then robbed back to hold onto Cas's leg and hide her face from him.

"Love," Cas chuckled as he softly patted her head, "Come on. No reason to be scared. The nice man is trying to help you"

Very carefully, Claire glanced up, just to hide behind Cas's leg again right away.

Cas turned to the man next to him with a chuckle.

"I think it's the sunglasses," he said. "She can't see your eyes, that probably scares her"

"Oh," the man made. "Yeah. Sure" And he took off the sunglasses and clipped them to the neck of his shirt instead. 

Cas now could see his eyes for the first time, very intense green eyes, and he also noticed the freckles over his nose and cheeks that he hadn't seen before. That was a handsome man right next to him.

"You can look," Cas softly said to his daughter, "he's not so scary anymore"

Very hesitantly, Claire lifted her head up again and looked up. This time, she didn't seem as scared. She still was rather shy and insecure about that stranger, but she let go off Cas's leg.

"See," Cas smiled, "he's just a nice man trying to help. Let me see your knee now, love?"

Claire nodded with a hesitant look at the man, then she robbed back a bit and stretched her leg out in front of her father.

The men now both saw that her pants were ripped open where she had fallen on her knee, and there was a bit of blood.

"Okay," Cas said softly, "okay, that's not so bad. I got that"

"Do you need a band-aid or anything? A tissue?" the man asked.

Cas smiled at him. "Thank you, but I'm prepared" He started looking for something in his pocket and pulled out a small bag. "With a toddler, you're always prepared"

The man watched Cas pulling out a band-aid - yellow with tiny bees on it - and carefully placing it on his daughter's knee. The girl's eyes followed her father's hands as well, and she even smiled a bit as he had placed it. 

"All better now," Cas smiled.

She nodded, then her expression got sadder.

"Daddy my ice cream," she said.

"That fell," Cas explained to her. "Look, you dropped it on that poor man"

She stared at the man again, who was now smiling at her.

"Don't worry about it," he said in a very friendly way, "I just told your Daddy, it's alright. I'm not angry about that. And sorry you lost your ice cream. I would be upset about that, too"

The girl hesitantly nodded.

"What's your name?" the man now asked.

She glanced over to her father who gave her a nod, then she answered hesitantly "Claire"

"Claire," the man smiled, "that's a nice name. I'm Dean. Nice to meet you, Claire"

Claire only nodded.

"And your Daddy," Dean asked, "what's his name?"

Claire glanced over to her father in surprise as if she had never thought about what his name was (and she probably hadn't). Dean's eyes followed hers over to her father, who chuckled and now smiled at Dean.

"It's Cas," he said.

"Also nice to meet _you_ , Cas," Dean smiled.

"Nice to meet you too, Dean," Cas smiled, now looking directly into his green eyes for the first time.

The two men smiled at each other for a moment. It was Dean who finally broke the eye contact by turning to look at the street behind Cas's back.

Cas didn’t notice anything, but apparently Dean had because his expression suddenly changed to a way more serious one.

"Hide her face," he said to Cas.

"What?" Cas asked, not understanding a word.

"Just do it," Dean said while he fumbled for his sunglasses and put them back on. Meanwhile, Cas pulled Claire closer to him and held her against his chest, hiding her face.

"We're gonna go into the store right behind you," Dean now said calmly. "You best carry her just like that"

"What?" Cas asked again. He had not the slightest idea what was going on right now, or what anything that Dean asked him to do meant.

"Please just do it," Dean said. "I'll explain in a second. Just do it"

Something in Dean's expression convinced Cas, so he lifted Claire up and rushed into the store right behind them, Dean right by his side.

Inside, Dean hastily closed the door behind them and let out a relieved sigh. Cas pulled Claire's hair back as he looked around. That was not a store he would've ever entered. It was clothes, sure. But expensive clothes. Very expensive clothes.

As he turned back to Dean, the man had taken off his sunglasses again and was only now cleaning the ice cream stain up with a tissue.

Right when he was about to ask what that had just been about, they heard steps, and both men turned to face what was presumably an employee.

The woman first looked at them rather strictly, then her face light up as she saw Dean.

"Mr. Winchester!" She said with the most intense talking-to-a-customer-smile Cas had ever seen, "Welcome back! We didn't expect you until tomorrow, though"

"Yeah," Dean said as he wiped the last remains of ice cream from his jacket. Then he smiled right back at the employee. "I had a change in the schedule and thought I'd pop in today; I hope that doesn't throw things upside down for you?"

"Oh no it's fine," the young woman smiled, "we've got your order ready in the back. Do you want me to get it for you?"

"That'd be amazing," Dean smiled. "Though, would you mind if we stick around for a bit longer? I've got a situation outside"

"Sure, that's no problem at all," the woman smiled before she disappeared through a door.

Cas, who had listened to everything in silence, now turned to Dean with obvious confusion on his face.

"Would you mind telling me what on earth is going on?" He asked with Claire still in his arms. The little girl was clinging onto his neck while she was looking around the store with big impressed eyes.

Dean turned to meet Cas's eyes.

"Yeah," he sighed, "sorry. I noticed people taking photos. Just random passers-by, no paparazzi, but they're still gonna end up online. I'm used to that, but I didn't wanna drag you and the kid into it. I'm sorry about that. Shouldn't have taken off the sunglasses"

Cas was still not understanding what that man he had only just met was talking about.

"You're used to people randomly taking photos of you? You're used to paparazzi? I’m sorry, what?"

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, well, it comes with the job. Can't really avoid that. The sunglasses help a big lot, surprisingly. But you can't avoid people recognizing you"

Cas was still staring at him. He started getting the feeling that this man his daughter had bathed in ice cream wasn't just a random guy on the street, and that he _should_ know him. The thing was, he really didn't.

"Are you, like ... a celeb or something?" He asked insecurely, fully aware of how embarrassing that question was.

Dean didn't seem to mind the question though. He laughed out loud for a moment.

"Yeah, could say that," he chuckled. "Not famous enough for you to recognize me, apparently"

Now, Cas chuckled as well. "That doesn't say anything," he said, "I'm not really ... I mean I don't keep up with ... you know. The rich and the famous."

"Doesn't take a lot of effort to keep up with news about me," Dean smirked. "I've had an awful lot of press lately. Made it a habit to avoid getting anywhere near places where they sell newspapers"

"Yeah," Cas said, "I only keep up with politics. Not gonna waste money on articles about people's outfits when I got that little monster here begging for toys and ice cream"

Dean chuckled, but Claire turned her head towards her father and protested: "I'm no monster"

"Mh," Cas made with a smile, "yeah you can be sometimes. But you're an adorable monster that I love lots"

Claire mumbled something against Cas's chest that neither of the men could understand before she returned to scanning the store around them in silence.

"Yeah, I wish I still had that choice," Dean said. "To just not keep up, I mean. It can be really tough, the PR shit. One bored wannabe journalist puts out a rumour and you're busy for weeks trying to keep the damage as little as possible. That's why I told you to cover her face. They can be ... I mean probably those people out there didn't mean any harm, but the wrong person gets their hands on those photos and makes up a story and suddenly you got your kid all over national tabloids."

Cas stared at him again.

"Don't worry too much, though," Dean said. "I think you did good. And they shouldn't have seen much from you either"

"Who are you?" Cas now asked quietly. "I mean if people are that eager to snap a picture of you, I should've heard your name before?"

Dean smiled. "Dean Winchester," he said. "Maybe heard from me on the radio or something. I, uhm ... well. I'm a musician. I sing. Play the guitar. You know."

"No," Cas said, "sorry. Doesn't ring a bell"

"Seriously?" Dean chuckled.

"Yeah," Cas smirked.

"Well that's refreshing," Dean smiled. "Was a nice feeling to be just a guy out there with you"

"Well, until the fans started taking photos," Cas smirked.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. "I gotta prepare for some yellow press speculation about that stain on my jacket, I guess. They're gonna call it anything but ice cream"

Cas's smile faded immediately as he was reminded about that.

"That, uhm ..." he stuttered, "I'm really sorry about that. I mean it's an expensive jacket and if you need to get it cleaned I'm gonna pay-"

"Uh-uh," Dean interrupted him, "you're gonna stop right there. I already told you not to worry about it. Also, you just told me you don't even buy newspapers to save money, so you don't really think I'm gonna make you pay for that jacket when I'm regularly shopping in a place like this and you're saving up for your daughter's toys? Just don't worry about it, I mean it. It's all fine. Seriously."

He looked right into Cas's eyes with a serious expression, and Cas held the eye contact for a moment.

"Thank you," he then said quietly.

Dean only smiled at him in response. Only a second later, the young employee came back into the room, placing a bag on the counter.

"Sir?" She called out.

"Yeah," Dean said and walked over to her, leaving Cas and Claire standing alone.

Cas fought the urge to walk up closer and have a peek at Dean's purchase, and more importantly its price, and instead stayed behind with his daughter in his arms, absentmindedly playing with a string of her blonde hair.

He watched Dean chat a bit with the woman, she once glanced behind towards Cas as she said something to Dean, then smiled at them with his answer. Cas knew she had probably asked about them, and for some reason he was really curios to know Dean's answer.

Dean paid with a credit card that for some reason already looked like it had no limit at all, and then after another few seconds of chatting, he stood right next to Cas again.

"She said we can use the back door," Dean said. "In case there's still someone waiting outside. If you wanna."

"Uhm ..." Cas made, "Yeah. That, uhm ... that'd be great. I guess?"

Dean chuckled. "I know it's irritating. It was for me, too, when people first started recognizing me. Sorry I got you into that."

"Not your fault," Cas smiled. "Sorry my daughter bathed you in her ice cream"

"It's alright," Dean chuckled. "She's a kid. That happens" He leaned down just a bit to look at Claire’s face.

"Right, Claire?" He asked in a very friendly way, "You didn't mean to drop your ice cream"

Claire looked up and sadly shook her head. "Wanted to eat it," she mumbled.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "I get that feeling. I, too, get very salty when someone takes my food away"

Cas chuckled. "Though, I guess you can have any food you like with a snap. She begged for that ice cream forever"

"Well, not _any_ food," Dean chuckled, "but basically, pretty accurate. Though, uhm ... I could buy her a new one? If that's alright with her Dad?"

Claire had looked up again, this time she was staring at Dean with a smile on her face and big, surprised eyes.

So was her father.

"You're serious?" He asked.

"Yeah," Dean shrugged. "I mean, if it was my ice cream, I'd be pissed as well" He made a short pause, then added: "We can get one for Daddy as well, if you want to"

Cas said what his trained immediate reaction to someone offering to buy him something was: "You don't need to ..."

"No," Dean smiled, "but I want to, and honestly, my wallet won't even notice. So, just say yes and don't feel too bad about it. Consider it an apology for the paparazzi incident"

Cas looked at him for a moment, then looked at his daughter who was giving him a begging look, then he said "okay"

"Great," Dean grinned. "Did you hear that, Claire? We're gonna get you some new ice cream"

The girl on Cas's arm cheered, making Dean chuckle.

"Love, what do we say?" Cas quietly said to his daughter.

"Thank you!" She beamed at Dean.

"Yeah," her father agreed, "thank you"

"Don't mention it," Dean smiled. "Alright. Back door it is. Claire, I'll have to put on the sunglasses again. Can you handle that?"

"Your eyes go away again?" She asked insecurely.

"Yes," Dean said, "but look, you've seen them. All the time, right? So, you just remember them, okay? Can you do that?"

The girl nodded, but she still held onto her father a bit tighter. They said goodbye to the young employee and followed her to the back door that she closed behind them as they stepped out onto an empty alleyway.

First thing Dean did was putting his sunglasses back on. First thing Cas did was letting Claire back down onto her own feet. She had gotten quite heavy with time, but letting her walk around that shop on her own had seemed way too risky for him.

Now, they casually walked out of the alley, Dean carrying his bag filled with expensive new clothes, Claire by her father's hand, making excited little steps knowing she was going to get ice cream.

"So," Dean started, "I've told you a lot about me. What about you, though? Who is it I'm inviting for ice cream?"

"Uhm," Cas chuckled, "what is there to say? We're nothing special. I'm just a guy with a kid."

"Don't underestimate that," Dean said. "Being just a guy can be very nice, actually"

"I'm getting a feeling that you don't really like being the centre of attention?"

Dean chuckled slightly. "Well," he said, "I mean, I do love what I do. The music and stuff, that's something I've always loved, and now being able to make a living from that ... it's amazing, it really is. But everything that comes with it, you know, the attention, the interest in everything you do, the speculation and the photos and the tabloids ... I could really do without that."

"Yeah," Cas said, "I can imagine"

"What about you?" Dean asked. "What do you do?"

"What, you mean what's my job?", Cas chuckled.

"Mh," Dean made, "yeah. What's your job, what are you passionate about, what do you do with your life."

"I, uhm ... I'm a teacher," Cas said. "Well I _was_ a teacher. Currently unemployed. It's kind of a long story. Anyways, I ... yeah, I think I'm passionate about teaching. Sharing knowledge, shaping young people's thinking, you know? And most passionate about my daughter. Cos I'm teaching her, every day. 24/7. Scarily close to 24/7, because we really don't like sleeping currently, right love?"

"Sleeping's _boring_ ," Claire said.

Dean chuckled.

"Yeah," Cas said, "she's got a lot of energy currently"

"I see," Dean chuckled. "Claire, how old are you?" He then asked.

"I'm four!" The little girl announced, proudly showing the number with her fingers.

"Four!" Dean said to her with a smile, "Wow! You're almost one of the big kids, then!"

"Yeah," Claire grinned, "I can write my name already!"

"Oh wow that's impressive!" Dean shot her another supportive smile.

"Yeah," Cas confirmed. "We're having some trouble with the _R_ , but that's alright for now"

*  
  


A couple minutes later, Dean had gotten ice cream for each of them and they were sitting outside the ice cream shop at one of the small tables there. Cas kept Claire on his lap, holding her close to make sure she wouldn't wander off. At the moment that was an unnecessary precaution, since the little girl was as happy as somehow possible and sat in peaceful calm, focused on her ice cream.

Dean was sitting in his own chair opposite the two of them, enjoying his own ice cream but glancing over with a smile now and then.

There was a moment of silence right now, and Cas noticed that Dean was eyeing him for an almost uncomfortable long time.

"What?" He asked with a smirk.

"Hm?" Dean made as if Cas had just ripped him out of his thoughts.

"You're staring," Cas explained. "What's that about?"

"Oh, uhm ...", Dean looked down for a second, and Cas was almost sure that if it hadn't been for the sunglasses, he could've seen him being embarrassed. "I was just thinking. Sorry."

"Thinking about what?" Cas asked.

Dean took a second before he answered. It seemed to Cas as if he was debating if he should tell him.

"You, uhm ..." Dean started hesitantly. "I mean, it's none of my business, and kind of a weird thing to ask, but ... You said you're unemployed?"

"Yeah," Cas answered hesitantly, and in that moment, he expected a lot. Some weird question from a rich privileged guy, maybe, something about how he lost his job or some uncomfortable money questions, but he would have never expected the question that Dean actually asked.

"Would you like a job?"

Cas didn't quite understand. "What?"

"I mean ..." Dean said, "would you like to ... well, work for me. Kinda."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"Yeah," Dean shrugged.

"What, you just offer me a job in the music industry? Me? A teacher with no qualifications whatsoever?"

"Well, it's ... it's not exactly in the music industry. Also it's not really a job in the classic sense. But yeah, I'm offering you a job, and honestly I think you're perfect for it. We got health insurance."

Cas chuckled slightly.

"You're just throwing that in there to convince me?"

Dean smirked. "Yeah. Kinda. Does it work?"

"Tempting," Cas said, "But I don't even know what this mysterious job-not-in-the-classic-sense is about"

"Yeah," Dean sighed and leaned back, "well. I told you earlier, I got an awful lot of press lately. One could say that I got sort of an image problem. Small one, but it's there, and I really don't want it to grow any bigger"

"About what?"

"Mh," Dean made, "let's say, sexuality and relationship-wise. Nothing scandalous, and if you're really interested, there's all the details online. Short version is, there's an ex who couldn't resist gossiping on her twitter, lots of people who added speculation and misinterpretation of things I said years ago, and now I've got this big rumour about me apparently pretending to be bisexual for drama and media attention, and I know there's gonna be a shitstorm coming."

"Mh," Cas now made, eyeing him for a moment, thinking. "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Pretending for attention"

Dean sighed.

"No," he said. "I am bi, out and proud. And I've never been secretive about it. But I've only ever dated women, at least in the light of the public, and that leads to people to make assumptions"

"Classic erasure," Cas understood, "yeah. People love to do that. But where does a job for me come into play?"

"Well, there's those rumours. And my PR team and I, we've talked a lot about what to do about it. I mean I know I don't have to prove shit to anyone, but as a person of public interest I just don’t need rumours like that. Now I of course could make statements and give interviews and all that, but I doubt that would really change people's minds. Easiest would be for me to openly date a man. The thing is, I'm not looking for any relationship at the moment. Focusing on my work for now, you know. So, we've talked about hiring someone to, well ..."

"Pretend to be your boyfriend?" Cas asked, not quite believing what he was told.

"Yeah. Well, kinda."

Cas stared at the man across the table for a second. The child on is lap was still peacefully enjoying her ice cream, totally oblivious to the weird conversation the two adults around her were having just now.

"You're serious?" He asked. "You're not setting up a weird joke?"

"No, I'm really serious," Dean said calmly. "I've got that situation, my PR team has been talking about the possibility for a while now, and I'm offering it to you. If you want to. If you're comfortable with that."

"Why me?" Cas now asked. "You said you think I'm perfect for the job, why is that?"

"Well, first of all, you had not the slightest clue who I am," Dean chuckled, "and I like that energy. Then, you're a normal guy. Really down to earth, from my impression, and even more importantly, not a fan. There'd be no weird rumours about abusing positions of power over fans and stuff. You make a sympathetic impression, you really do. Nice. Handsome. Nice smile."

All that made Cas smile, and Dean smiled back at him.

"And then, of course, there's pictures already. So if you agree, and those pictures from today appear anywhere, that's a perfect setup for us."

Cas again looked at him, thinking quietly. Claire on his lap had now finished her ice cream and started getting impatient. After a moment of trying to hold his fidgeting daughter, he finally gave in and turned his face to her. Accompanied by a chuckle, he cleaned off her little face with a paper napkin, making Claire laugh and Dean smirk.

The girl then started climbing around him, obviously wanting to get out, so he lifted her out of the chair and sat her down on the ground where she immediately toddled a few steps away and started playing with some stones. Cas made her promise to not go any further away before he turned back to Dean, constantly keeping Claire in the corner of his eye.

"If I say yes," he now asked, "What about Claire? You basically want me to sell my face to the press, what about my daughter?"

"I won't bring a little kid into this," Dean said seriously. "We'd keep her out of it entirely. Well, as good as possible, considering that she already has been dragged in today. But I for sure wouldn't ask you to let me use her for my image. Definitely not."

Cas nodded along.

"Also," Dean added, "It's not really selling your face. I'd like to take a more private approach to it. You know, basically like letting people know about the relationship, but with the thought that this is a relationship with someone who's an average person and wants to keep his privacy. There’d be some hand-holding in public, but maybe with sunglasses or a hat. Stuff like that, you know. Maybe a quick kiss in front of some paparazzi."

"I see," Cas said thoughtfully. Then, after a second: "So in a way, selling my body to you?"

Dean let out a quiet sigh.

"If you wanna call it that, maybe. In a very limited way, of course. I really wouldn't ask much of you in that aspect. Obviously you gotta be okay with being physically close to me, but I wouldn't take advantage of this agreement. I wouldn't make you do anything inappropriate, of course not."

Again, Cas only nodded.

"What would that job be classified as?" He then asked. "Officially, I mean. I believe being a celeb's fake boyfriend probably isn’t exactly a state-approved career?"

Dean chuckled at that.

"Yeah, I don't think it is. Officially, you'd be employed as a member of my team. Doesn't really matter which department, we can figure that out as we go. Whatever you like best. So, officially, normal music industry job. Insurance, taxes, and full legal support in case you'd feel harassed by anything I'd do, or ask you to do."

"Okay ..." Cas mumbled thoughtfully. He looked at Dean for a moment.

"What pay did you have in mind?"

"That's debatable," Dean smiled.

Cas's returned the smile.

"For how long?"

"Mh," Dean shrugged, "no fixed duration. Long enough to pass as a legit relationship. That really depends on how the press coverage shifts. But if you want out at an earlier point than me, we can always break up"

Again, Cas nodded. He spent another moment looking at Dean, visibly thinking.

"Can you promise me that Claire will be alright?"

Dean answered with a soft smile. "I promise"

A quick nod from Cas, then silence.

"Do I have to decide right now?" He asked quietly.

"No," Dean said calmly. "But soon would be amazing. Especially because of today's photos. But you can have a night to sleep about it, if you want. Call me back tomorrow."

"Yeah," Cas said, "that sounds great"

"Good," Dean smiled and pulled a business card out of his pocket. "Here. Call that number. It won't be me who answers, but I'll make sure they know about you and let you through to me"

Cas took the card and eyed it for a second, twisted it in between his fingers, then glanced up to meet Dean's eyes again.

"I'll call," he said.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas kept thinking about that weird encounter for quite a while. Dean had left soon after that conversation, leaving Cas and Claire outside the ice cream shop for a bit longer, and Cas hadn't stopped thinking about him and his very unusual offer for even a second since then. He had walked back home with Claire by his hand, who was very careful about her walking now that she remembered the incident her jumping had caused earlier that day, and he was replying to her babbling, he was listening to her, but at the same time, he kept thinking about Dean.

Back at home, he spent some more time with Claire and then got her ready for bed, and as soon as she had - finally - fallen asleep, he opened up his laptop and googled Dean Winchester. His first source was the Wikipedia article. Incredible, he couldn't help thinking, I actually talked to someone who has an own Wikipedia article!

After that, he set the google search to news and scrolled through a couple of articles about Dean, and they said pretty much what Dean had already told him. After reading the same few rumours in multiple articles, he finally moved over to YouTube and searched for Dean's music.

He found quite a number of songs and randomly chose one to play first, and only a few beats in, he caught himself tapping his toes to the rhythm. When Dean started singing, he closed his eyes and just listened for a while. That was a good voice, he thought, a really good voice. A really good singer.

Keeping the tab open, he went back to scrolling through articles with Dean's music playing in the background. A couple more articles, more rumours, then he searched for Dean's name on google images. Album covers, promotion pictures, pictures of Dean on stage, pictures that looked like taken from music videos, and of course paparazzi shots, just like random photos of him on the street, probably taken by fans with their phones. While looking at a photo that showed Dean at a grocery store, Cas had a thought.

He opened a new tab and visited the twitter website. Dean Winchester in the search field, sorting by most recent, and go. There were very recent tweets, only a few seconds old, just talking about Dean and his music, random comments that Cas wasn't really interested in. But then, further down, in a post from this afternoon, Cas saw himself.

_Saw Dean Winchester today,_ the tweet read, _anybody know who he's with?_

Attached was a photo from this afternoon, Dean and Cas both crouching down there on the ground, Cas with Claire pressed against his chest, only visible in profile. Dean was there right next to him, looking directly in the camera's direction. Claire's face wasn't visible at all, it was clear that Cas was holding a child in the picture, and her blonde hair stood out from his dark jacket, but her face wasn't visible, and in that moment, Cas was really grateful for Dean warning him.

With a click on the tweet, he revealed the replies.

Most of them were excited, some asked the original poster about where they had seen him, some said how lucky they were and what they would give to run into Dean Winchester in town, and others engaged in speculation who Dean was with in the picture.

_No idea who that is! Maybe a friend or something? But I don't think I've seen that guy in any other pictures before!_

_Was he with him, or did they just run into each other?  
_ _\- They did disappear into a store together, so I'm assuming they were there together_

_Is that a child?  
_ _\- Yes, a little girl. No idea who she is, but they both were really sweet with her!_

_boyfriend????????_

_why are they on the ground like that?  
_ _\- they both seemed really fussy about the kid, probably she fell or something_

_op did you see them interacting? What was it like?  
_ _\- I couldn't see much, they were just talking and then went into the store really soon. Both focused on the kid, I'd say_

_doesn't he have a brother?  
_ _\- he does but we've seen pictures of him before, that's not him  
_ _\- yeah Sam's got long hair! Pretty sure there's a picture on Dean's insta_

_okay but what if ... *gasp* boyfriend?_

Cas scrolled through a couple more replies, and his eyes spotted the word _boyfriend_ quite a few more times. It seemed like a close assumption for many of Dean's fans, and slowly Cas realised that the plan Dean had told him about really could work. Especially on the basis of this photo, it really had good chances to work.

And that moment, late that night on the couch, laptop on his lap, a twitter thread filled with speculations about Dean's relationship status in front of him and Dean's music in the background, he made a decision. He'd do it. He'd call up that number, and he'd agree to Dean's weird plan.

Why exactly, he didn't really know. It just felt right in his gut. Well, and of course he could use the money. After two months of unemployment, he really _needed_ the damn money. And if that meant holding some celeb's hand in public, so be it. And he knew Dean seemed like a decent guy, at least he had given him the impression today, he had been very sweet to Claire, and Cas just thought he seemed nice. Nice enough to trust him and just give this a try.

The next morning, Cas was still sure about his decision. When he woke up that morning, he stayed in bed for a couple minutes, just staring at the ceiling and thinking.

I have to think about what's best for Claire, he thought. Media attention isn't good for her. But on the other hand, he really needed the money in order to make the best life possible for her. And Dean had promised to keep her out of it. And for some weird reason, even though he didn't know the guy at all, Cas felt like he could trust Dean on this.

I'm gonna do it, he thought. What's the worst that can happen. I'm gonna do it.

Then, he got up and got started with his daily routine. 

That included checking on Claire, getting her washed up and dressed. Making breakfast, and making sure she ate it right. Cleaning up the kitchen, because of course Claire made a little mess, as always.

When he was finished with all that, he sent Claire off to the kitchen table with a colouring book and leaned back against the counter for a moment. The business card Dean had given him was right there clipped to the cabinet. Cas looked at it for just a second, reading the name and number again, and again, and one last time. Then he glanced over to the clock. Half past 9. That was a good time to call, he thought. Not too early, and not too close to lunch. Good.

He told Claire to not make any noise for a bit now because he needed to make a phone call, and after getting a mumbled "yeah" from her, he grabbed the phone and started typing in the number.

His hand was slightly shaking as he read through the numbers again, then he finally pressed the green button. It dialled and he had to wait maybe 3 seconds, then the line cracked and someone picked up.

"WMR music, business contact for Dean Winchester, this is Jo Harvelle speaking, how can I help you?" a young female voice spoke to him.

"Uhm, hi," he said. "My name's Novak. Castiel Novak. I talked to Dean yesterday about a, uhm ... well he offered me a job, and he said to call this number about it."

"I see," the woman said, and Cas could hear some paper rustling as if she was looking for some notes. "Ah yeah," she apparently had found what she was looking for, "What did you say your name was?"

"Novak," he said. "Or, uhm, Cas. That's how I introduced myself to Dean."

"Yeah exactly," he heard the friendly voice confirm, "Cas is what I got here. Dean asked to talk to you personally, I'll put you through. Hold the line please"

"Sure," Cas said, "And thank you"

"No problem," the friendly voice said, and then he was put on hold.

Cas waited for a couple moments, listening to the loop’s soothing music while watching Claire colour a picture of a dragon, until finally, the line cracked again.

"Winchester?" He heard Dean's voice.

"Hey, uhm ... it's Cas. From yesterday."

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "I do remember. It's good to hear from you, Cas"

"Is it?" Cas said with a smirk that Dean of course couldn't see, "you don't even know my answer yet"

"That's right of course," Dean said, "but you called, that's a first step to be happy about, and also, can't I generally like talking to you, no matter what your answer is?"

"Sure you can," Cas said, "But I think you've got a preference about what you wanna hear"

"Well, of course I do," Dean said, "if I wouldn't want to hear a yes, I wouldn't have made the offer"

"Right," Cas agreed. 

"So," Dean asked, "Did you make a decision?"

"I did, yes"

"And what is it?"

"Well," Cas started, "I did some googling about you last night. And I figured that you didn't lie to me. Which is a good start. Then I did a dive into twitter, and I saw that someone posted a picture of us ..."

"Yeah," Dean sighed, "I'm aware. Your kid's face isn't visible, though"

"Yeah," Cas agreed, "yeah, and I'm glad about that. So I saw that photo, and I read through a couple of comments, and I think your plan can work. I think you really got changes with this. So ... I think I'm gonna give it a try."

"You're in?" Dean asked, and his voice sounded genuinely happy about it.

"Yeah," Cas said, "I'm in. Under one condition."

"Yeah?"

"My daughter," he said. "You do everything you can to make sure this doesn't affect her. I don't want her face on any tabloid magazines. I don't want her name anywhere. I don't want her involved in this in any way."

"I already said," Dean said honestly, "I promise. I know this isn't the world for a child, and I won't drag her into it."

"Thank you," Cas said. "Then, I'm in"

"Congrats on the new job, then," he heard Dean's voice.

"As much as one can call it a job," Cas chuckled.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. "If you wanna come by, we can discuss all details. And you've gotta sign a contract. You know, for your cover position."

"Yeah, sure"

"Great. Let's say, this afternoon?"

"Uhm ..." Cas thought for a second with a glance over to Claire, "I don't know if I can find someone to look after Claire on such short notice ..."

"Oh you can bring her," Dean said. "That's no problem. I'm sure we'll keep her entertained."

"Oh alright then," Cas said.

Dean gave him the address, and they agreed that Cas would be there with Claire at 2pm the same day.  
  


*  
  


They did arrive in front of the building at 1.45. Cas was someone who was quite serious about being on time, so he had gotten Claire ready way too early. But they had to ride the bus and he hadn't been sure about where exactly the building was, so he had calculated the duration of their journey there rather generously.

It was a red brick building, one in a row in this street. Rather old buildings that all were blending in with each other, but kept in good condition. There seemed to be some businesses around, office buildings, judging by the names and logos Cas had noticed while walking down the street.

A nameplate right next to the door indicated they were at the right address, since it had the same name on it that Cas had already heard on the phone. With Claire by his hand he stepped up the two steps to the door and rang the bell.

A speaker buzzed, and suddenly there was a voice.

"Yeah?" It was the same woman Cas had been on the phone with earlier, or at least her voice sounded very similar.

"Hi, uhm, it's Cas Novak. I called earlier?"

"Yeah," she said, and it must have definitely been the same woman, because she sounded like she remembered him, "I'll let you in. Down the hall to the right, please"

Cas was about to reply something like a hustled thank you, but the door buzzed already and he pushed it open, stepping inside.

As the door shut behind them, Claire by his hand looked around with visible impression. It wasn't anything special so far, not to Cas at least, but he knew she had never been in a place like this, and therefore everything about this very normal office hallway seemed exotic to her.

The hallway was bright, lit by a big window at the end of it. It led straight through the building, 4 doors going off to the left side and 3 to the right, a staircase on the door's right hand side leading upstairs. There was carpet in a dark red with a brown and orange pattern on it; the walls were painted in a bright white, a couple of frames standing out from them. As they were walking down the floor, Cas noticed some newspaper articles in some, pictures in others.

About halfway through the hallway, there was a big potted plant, and Claire immediately gravitated towards it. Cas let her, until her little hand reached for the soil. That was when he carefully pulled her back. She looked up at him with a pout.

"Claire," he said calmly, "we're guests here, yeah? Looking. No touching, okay?"

"No touching?" She repeated.

"No," he said. "Come on. They're probably waiting for us"

And they continued to walk down the corridor until they reached the end. To the right, the woman had said. So, Cas turned to the right and knocked on the door.

Almost immediately he heard the by now almost familiar voice. "Yeah"

Cas pushed the door open and made a careful step inside, Claire curiously following him.

It was an office. Just a normal office, about as bright as the corridor, with a similar window out the same direction. Two desks face to face in the middle of the room, lots of shelves off to the sides, and a small couch right below the window, with another plant next to it like the one in the corridor.

One of the two desks was empty. At the other one, there was a young, blonde woman that was now looking up and facing them with a friendly smile.

"Hey," she smiled as she stood up and walked over to them, "Cas, right?"

"Yeah," Cas only confirmed.

"Yeah," she smiled, "Jo. Hi. We talked. Oh hey!" She now crouched down in front of Claire, "And you are?"

The little girl eyed the woman for a second, then replied with conviction: "Claire"

"Claire," the woman repeated, "I like that. Hi Claire. I'm Jo."

After another smile at Claire, Jo stood up again and now smiled at Cas.

"So," she said, "I've told Dean you've arrived, and he should be here in just a moment. He had a phone call going, but that should be finished any minute."

"Sure, uhm ... that's fine"

"Yeah," she smiled. "So you really said yes, huh?"

"Yeah," Cas shrugged. "I mean, it's a job, and I got a kid to feed"

"Well," she said, "Is it _really_ a job? I mean it's your decision, but I was sceptical about it ever since I first heard about the idea. But everyone else seemed convinced, and I'm not PR, so who am I to complain."

Cas chuckled. "Well it's ... different, I guess? But Dean seemed nice and what he told me made sense to me, so I thought, why not give it a try. Especially with the pictures already out there"

"Yeah," she agreed, "Asking you to do it was a good idea, I gotta admit. Those are rare coming from Dean"

Cas looked at her, unsure how to reply to that.

She chuckled. "Just joking. He's a smart guy. I've known him forever and we make that sort of jokes, you know"

"I see," Cas smiled.

Before Jo could say any more, the door was opened, and Dean's face appeared with a big smile on it.

"Cas! Hey!" He grinned.

"Hey," Cas smiled back.

"Hi Claire!" Dean now greeted the little girl, "You remember me?"

"Nice ice cream man!" Claire remembered and seemed happy to see him.

"Yeah that's it," Dean chuckled. Then, he turned back to Cas. "I see you met Jo already"

"Yeah," he said. "Well. We had a quick chat"

"I see," he smiled. "Yeah, she's Jo, old friend of mine and responsible for all sorts of administration, licensing, and record label stuff."

"Yeah, I do the real work here," she laughed, "Keep the whole thing running while Dean plucks his guitar and posts selfies on social media"

"You would have nothing to run without my guitar plucking and selfie posting," Dean chuckled.

"Ahh true," she smirked.

"Anyway, Cas, you wanna come with me? Claire can stay with Jo, if that's alright?"

Jo seemed to notice Cas's protective glance over to his daughter.

"You'll be right next door," she said to Cas, "it's alright. If there's anything wrong, you can be here in an instant"

"Alright," Cas said and got down on Claire's eye level, "Love, I gotta talk to Dean alone for a bit, okay? Can you stay with Jo and promise me to behave and not give her a hard time?"

Claire nodded.

"You're gonna be nice to Jo, yeah?"

"Yes, Daddy," Claire said, and Cas quickly kissed her head before he stood back up and turned to Dean with a smile.

As Jo sat down at her desk with Claire on her lap, Cas followed Dean out of the room, back into the corridor.

"Claire's in good hands with her," Dean said to him as the door had closed behind them. "Jo's really great"

"She seemed nice, yeah. She said you've known her for quite a while?"

"Yeah," Dean confirmed, "Well, our parents knew each other. Weird sort of relationship. But we've been friends since I was in middle school"

"A really old friend, then"

"Yeah," Dean chuckled.

"And this is where you work?" Cas asked. "Like you make music here?"

"We do," Dean smirked. "The music happens upstairs. Down here is just, you know, office stuff. I can give you a tour later. I can imagine Claire would love to see the studio"

"Not just Claire," Cas added with a smirk.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "that's generally the most interesting part for anyone who's new"

They now stopped in front of a door on the other side of the corridor.

"You ready?" Dean asked.

Cas replied with a quick nod, and Dean pushed the door open. Inside was a very normal meeting room. Two whiteboards at the wall in the back, a big screen on right side, and a big table with chairs all around it right in the middle.

One of those chairs was occupied by a woman. Red hair, a black shirt with a very busy print up in the front, and quite a stack of paper on the table in front of her. She looked up as the door opened and immediately had a smile on her face as she saw them.

Cas stood there in a rather awkward way for a second in which Dean closed the door, then Dean was finally back right next to him and introduced him to the ginger woman.

"Cas, meet Charlie Bradbury, my outstanding PR manager and IT angel. Charlie, this is Cas."

"Hi," Cas said slightly insecurely.

"Hi Cas," Charlie smiled at him. "Welcome to this insanity. Take a seat"

Cas did as she said and sat down in the chair closest to him, while Dean took one in-between him and Charlie, leaving one free chair to each of them.

Charlie turned to Dean as soon as he was sitting.

"You talked to Sam?" She asked.

"I did," Dean said.

"And?"

"Well he thinks we're nuts but legally it should work as we discussed"

"Great," Charlie said. Then, she chuckled. "He's not so wrong, by the way. It really is kinda nuts"

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. Then, he turned to Cas.

"Uhm," he said, "Well, Sam is our legal advisor. I talked to him just a couple minutes ago about ... well, this. And while he gave me the go for the plan as it is, he couldn't hold back from sharing his personal opinion, because he's an annoying little know-it-all"

Cas was slightly irritated by Dean saying that so openly about one of his colleagues, had he made such an accepting and nice impression before. His confusion must have been visible, because Charlie intervened with an explanation.

"He's also Dean's little brother," she said, "Which explains _a lot_ "

"I see," Cas said with a hint of a smirk.

"Yeah, you know, I avoid bringing up legal advisor and brother in the same sentence, because sometimes people get sceptical about it. But also people are confused a lot when they don't know he's my brother and overhear us talking"

"Good thing I know, then," Cas said.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "Anyways. Let's talk about you, and this plan. First of all, let's start with the official stuff. You're a teacher, not by any chance an English teacher? Or anything similar?"

"Yeah, I ... English and History," Cas answered hesitantly, "why?"

Dean grinned over to Charlie. "See? I told you I got the vibes"

Then he turned back to Cas. "That's great. Because we were talking, and officially, you're gonna be a lyricist. And if you wanna, you can actually be for real. Because we're not gonna fill a full time job with acting in front of some paparazzi."

"I got no experience at all, though"

"You got experience as a teacher," Dean said, "you know texts. It's nothing different, really. Look at it as poems, and you got it"

"Okay," Cas said, "Yeah, I ... I guess I can get into that"

"I'm sure you can," Dean smiled. "Great, so lyricist it is. Now. The unofficial part. First off, alongside with the contract, we'll ask you to sign a confidentiality agreement. Which is partly routine, we all got one, but we're gonna twitch it a bit, make it more inclusive of ... well, things you can't say about me, your employment or our relationship."

Cas looked at him.

"Can I tell anyone that I'm not actually dating you?"

"That depends on who _anyone_ is. If we're talking immediate family, yes, under the condition that they agree not to talk to press in any way. Your neighbours, the mail person, no."

"Friends?"

"How many?"

Cas hesitated. He debated in his head who he needed to know, wanted to know. "Just one," he then said. "My best friend"

"Should be alright," Dean said, "but again, no talking to press in any way whatsoever"

"Thank you"

Dean looked at Cas for a second.

"We're aware that this isn't a regular job and that it cuts deep into your personal life," he said. "I know we're asking a lot of you, and I'm really glad you agreed nevertheless. So, we're of course gonna appreciate your input financially"

With that, Charlie pushed a folded piece of paper over to Cas. Rather hesitantly, he grabbed and unfolded it. After reading the number, he kept staring at it for a moment.

"Would you agree to that?" Dean asked seriously.

Finally, Cas looked up again and met Dean's eyes.

"That's more than I made as a teacher," he breathed.

"Well we all know teachers are paid shit," Dean chuckled. "No seriously. We're asking a lot from you, we're definitely invading your privacy, and you're kinda working two jobs, so ... I think that's justified. Do you?"

"Yeah," Cas stuttered, "Yeah, I, uhm ... yeah. Sure. Of course."

"Great," Dean smiled and nodded towards Charlie, who noted something down on one of her papers. "Then, details. Now this of course has no legal validity, but we've prepared a list of things that I can ask you to do and things that I absolutely can't. I'd like to go through that with you, maybe twitch it, depending on your comfort zone, maybe adding something that's important to you."

"Okay," Cas breathed. "Can I ask you one thing, though?"

"Sure," Dean smiled.

"How did you get all that done since yesterday?" Cas asked. "You've got contracts and confidentiality agreements and lists ready, but we only met yesterday?"

"We're working hard," Dean replied with a charming smile. "No, as I told you, the plan was there already so we did have some drafts worked out, and the rest we did in a speed run this morning"

"Huh," Cas only made.

"Impressed?" Dean chuckled.

"Yeah, kinda," Cas smirked.

"Good," Dean grinned. "Okay, so the list. Starting with ..." he looked down on the paper, "uhm, things that I _can_ ask for, yeah?"

"Mhm," Cas hummed.

"Okay," Dean said, and Cas could see his eyes reading something on his list while his hand tapped on the table. He seemed somewhat nervous, even though Cas didn't know why.

"Yeah. Things I can and probably will ask from you. First off, close physical contact such as hugging, having one arm around you, stuff like that." He looked up from the paper and over to Cas. "I'm reading all that to you. If there's something you don't agree with or want defined more closely, please interrupt"

"Okay," Cas said. He hadn't exactly been prepared for a detailed agreement like this one, and maybe he felt slightly overcharged by it, but it definitely gave him a certain feeling of safety as well.

"All good so far?"

"Yeah," Cas replied. "All good."

"Great," Dean said and looked back down at his list. "Next. Uhm, holding hands. Then, again kinda part of the physical contact point, but separated because it's slightly different. When we're outside together, and I need to talk to you, I'm probably gonna whisper in your ear. Some people are really sensitive about that, that's why it's separated. Wasn't sure about you"

"Not a problem for me," Cas said with a smile.

Dean gave him a soft smile back. "Good. Then, kissing. Including kisses on the lips - no tongue - as well as on the cheek, forehead, nose, et cetera."

"Okay," Cas said without looking at Dean. For some reason, the thought of kissing Dean made him blush. It wasn't even visible, but to Cas it felt like his cheeks were embarrassingly red right now, and that was why he kept looking at his hands instead of Dean - or Charlie, who was watching both of them.

"Okay," Dean repeated. "Under given circumstances, making out. This time including tongue kisses, anything in terms of mouth on skin - fully dressed of course, therefore meaning mostly neck. Alongside with that, the physical closeness that comes with making out, also hands on your body, excluding the ... private areas."

"Define," Cas said quietly.

"If we find ourselves in a situation where it seems fitting for me to stage a making out scene," Dean explained calmly, "which I honestly don't think will be very likely, but in case. I might, for example, push you against a wall and kiss you, and I might touch your chest or your hips, but I won't grab your crotch or your ass."

Cas slightly nodded. "Okay," he then said quietly.

"Okay," Dean mumbled more to himself before he continued. "Also concerning the touching, it's the same for other situations. You allow me to touch your body, but not your private parts"

"Does it go both ways?" Cas now asked, looking at Dean again. "I mean, is it the same for me? Or is it just you touching me?"

Dean looked up from the list and met his eyes. "General rule is, same rights for both of us. Only difference, I make the big decisions about what we're doing with the situation. The little every-day things, you're free to initiate as well. Like taking my hand, leaning into me, that's things you can do freely. But when we're talking things like, for example, making out in public. Either I initiate it, or I tell you to do it, but you don't do it on your own. When we're doing anything, there's the same limits for you as for me"

"Alright," Cas nodded. "Got that."

"Okay," Dean said. "There's one more that's ... it's gonna sound weird, and I think it won't be important anyways because we won't ever be in a situation that makes it necessary, but we had to include it, just to be sure. Yeah. Last thing I can ask you for is pretending to be sexually intimate with me."

"Sorry, what now?"

Dean looked up and met Cas's irritated eyes again with a soft expression.

"Yeah, I said it sounds weird," he said. "This basically means two things. One, things you can say and comments you can make. If asked about our sex life - and yes that may happen, some interviewers got no shame at all - you're gonna give an answer that does in some way imply we have regular intercourse. That doesn't mean you have to make up any detailed stories or something, literally just saying _no comment_ with a smirk and a blush would do. And two, which is a very _very_ absurd scenario, but if we ever were to be overheard in a situation that demands it, I could ask you to make some suggestive sounds."

"What, you want me to hide some place with you and just start moaning?"

"Basically, yes," Dean said. "It's not gonna happen anyways. But hypothetically, would you agree to that?"

Cas sighed and looked at Dean as he was thinking.

"Yeah," he then said, "yeah, whatever"

"Thank you," Dean said with an honest expression. "Then that directly leads to the other part, things that I can't ask you for, and - as Charlie here wanted me to phrase it - _if I do you have the right to kick me in the nuts"_

Cas chuckled, and Charlie shrugged with a smirk.

"I wanted to make it clear that this agreement doesn't put you in an inferior position to Dean and if he comes too close to you, you don't have to take shit from him," she explained to Cas. "Which does not mean that I think he would do anything like that. But I want you to know that you don't have to do everything"

Cas gave Charlie a smile.

"I appreciate that," he said. "Thank you"

"Yeah," Dean said. "To make it short, this part covers all things considered intimate. Most importantly, any actions of sexual nature. No matter what, or which body parts are involved, if it's considered sex, I can't ask for it. That's the important difference between this point and the last one, I _can_ ask you to pretend to have sex with me, but I _can't_ ask you to actually do it. Then, as we said earlier, touching intimate areas of your body. I can't do that, and if I do, you are totally allowed to call me out on it. Furthermore, I can't ask you to undress any further than appropriate for the situation - translation, I can't ask you to get naked for me. All of that, is that all clear to you, understood and accepted?"

"All clear," Cas said. "But one question"

"Yeah?" Dean asked.

"If - and I'm asking _if_ \- If you do anything that makes me feel ... uncomfortable. Unsafe. Harassed in any way. And I don't feel safe talking to you. Is there a safe way for me to complain to someone?"

Dean exchanged a short look with Charlie before he answered.

"If that happens," he said calmly, "and I do anything inappropriate ... I want to make a differentiation here between two cases. If I do something that I wasn't aware of doing, like if my hands wander too far down while kissing, things like that, please talk to me about it. Because I'm gonna try my best, but maybe something like that might happen where I just don't realize what I'm doing, and in that case, please make me aware of it. In the other case ... which I could say I wouldn't ever do, but that's not the point ... if I deliberately try to make you do something that's on the no-go list, if I ever try to come too close to you, you're absolutely free, as Charlie said, to kick me in the nuts. And I mean that. Give me a solid kick, run out and tell Charlie. She may be my friend, but I can guarantee you that she takes no shit when it comes to sexual harassment. Though, I would like to add at this point that it does work vice versa and I won't hold back from kicking you in the nuts if necessary"

"Okay," Cas agreed with a nod.

"Great," Dean said. "Now that we've discussed rights to your body, we're left with identity rights. Basically, your face and name"

"Mhm?" Cas made.

"Our plan is, and Charlie, please correct me if I get anything wrong, to approach this without giving out your name. I told you about our basic idea already yesterday, and that's what we're working with. A down to earth guy who doesn't want any of his boyfriend's publicity. We're gonna do the sunglasses thing in public, mostly at least, maybe there'll be a couple 'accidental' shots that show more you without. Depending on how it goes, maybe I'll ask you to let me take photos for my official social media, but I'd do that also without showing your whole face. It might happen though that some journalists start digging and figure out your name. But there won't be an official mention of your name on my side. Also, as we discussed, your daughter will not be part of this agreement at all, I won't ask you to involve her in any way whatsoever, and we're gonna do our best to not get her into another situation like the one yesterday. Which I'm very sorry about, by the way."

Cas nodded.

"What if someone figures out my name, as you said, and traces it back to her?"

"In that case," Dean said, "we might take legal steps because she is a minor whose parents did not consent to any publication of her name or photograph, and if any piece of media does anyway, that's gonna have consequences"

"Okay," Cas agreed quietly. 

"Yeah," Dean said. "It's important to me, personally, to keep her safe. She's just a kid, and I'm very passionate about keeping her safe and out of the spotlight. She's gonna be alright"

Cas nodded. "Thank you"

"It's natural," Dean said. The both of them kept their eye contact for a moment, until Charlie stole their attention by clearing her throat.

"Okay," she said, "so, we got all that cleared up. If there's no further questions, I suggest I get your papers ready?"

"Uhm ..." Cas hesitated with a glance over to Dean, "Yeah? I guess?"

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "You know what, I'll take Cas and Claire on a little tour in the meantime"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even though there's only like 5 women in SPN (I know it's more than that but like ... you know) the show is horribly uncreative when it comes to their names, and as a result of that, this chapter introduces this fic's 2nd Jo. I try to always make it clear which one we're talking about (mostly, Dean goes along with Jo Harvelle and Cas with Sister Jo/Anael). Sorry about that bit of confusion, I just really love both of them and wanted to include them :)

Only a couple minutes later, after Charlie had left to prepare the papers as she had promised, Cas followed Dean out of the room. They picked up Claire in Jo's office - where she felt quite like at home, by the way. The little girl apparently had become friends with Jo rather quickly and had spent the entire time sitting on her lap and drawing while commenting on her and explaining it to Jo. Claire only agreed to come with them after Jo told her about how impressive and fun the upstairs studio was and Cas promised her that they'd come back later to say goodbye to her new friend.

Dean teased Jo about she hadn’t gotten any work done, to which she replied with a snarky comment that he hadn't either. When Cas and Claire were already out the door, Jo stuck out her tongue at Dean. He chuckled and returned the gesture before he closed the door and stepped out into the corridor.

Dean then quickly showed them around the ground floor. Apart from Jo's office and the meeting room Cas had already seen there was a small kitchen, toilets, another office - this one with four desks inside, at one of them they saw Charlie typing away on her computer -, one room that looked rather like a break room to Cas with two couches and a few beanbag chairs in it, but Dean explained they used it to sit down together and brainstorm in an environment more relaxed like the meeting room.

Claire hadn't been extraordinarily interested in any of that, except maybe for the beanbag chairs that she had taken her time to jump onto and climb around, but when they reached the top of the stairs and Dean opened a rather heavy door, her little eyes immediately widened and she looked around her with visible impression.

Not that her father was any better. He stood there right next to Dean with Claire on his arm and looked around with his eyes about as wide as his daughter's.

The entire floor seemed to be just that one big room, divided into two parts. The front part was open and very bright, thanks to a row of windows on the side. There were various instruments spread across the room, multiple guitars, a keyboard, drums, lots of cable on the floor, and a mixer console that was pretty central in the middle of it all, facing the box that formed the second part of the room.

It was a very big, black box with a big glass front, with isolated walls and a number of microphones inside.

"Yeah," Dean said with a smile as he saw both his guests impressed faces, "This is where the magic happens"

"Wow," Cas managed to breathe. He had never exactly thought about how a place like this would look like, but what he was looking at right now definitely was impressive.

Claire seemed to think the same way, since she started moving on Cas's arm and tried to get out, to be let down.

"No, Claire, you can't walk around," Cas said calmly, "We can't touch anything"

Claire didn't stop fidgeting though, and Dean interrupted.

"No, actually," he said, "You can. Claire, you wanna try some of the instruments with me?"

The girl's eyes immediately lit up with a happy sparkle and she nodded hastily.

"That's okay? Cas asked hesitantly. "She can't break anything?"

"No, it should be fine," Dean smiled. "I'm there. And if anything breaks," he shrugged, "my fault"

"Alright then," Cas chuckled and lifted Claire down onto the ground.

She immediately started waddling towards the keyboard, and both Cas and Dean followed immediately after her. As she had reached it, she stood on the tips of her toes in front of it, curiously trying to reach the top and look at it.

"You wanna try it?" Dean asked, and Claire immediately nodded enthusiastically.

Dean pulled out a stool from underneath the keyboard and sat down on it before he lifted Claire up and sat her down on his knee. Only as they sat there like that and Claire's little hands started groping all over the keys without making a sound, Dean glanced over to Cas with a questioning look.

Cas nodded with a smile, and Dean turned his face back to Claire.

"It's turned off," he explained to her, "look. This button turns on the sounds. Do you wanna press it with me?"

Cas started wandering off. He knew Claire was safe with Dean, he trusted him with her plus he knew what he was doing with the instruments, so he took some time to walk around the room on his own and steal a little look here and there. He didn't touch anything, though, because even though Dean had said it should be fine, he'd rather not be responsible for any broken instruments or tech equipment in this international pop star's music studio.

While he was walking around, he could hear Dean explaining things to Claire. He could hear discordant sounds coming from the keyboard, and Claire laughing, then more sounds. Dean entertained the girl for quite a while at the keyboard, and when Cas had finished his own little tour she still was sitting on Dean's knee typing around on the keys with two fingers, laughing and giggling at the sounds it made. He stood behind them again, watching them for a bit longer, until he turned at the sound of the door opening.

It was Charlie who had entered, and she was now waving and signalling him to come.

"Dean," he said, "I'm gonna ..."

Dean only turned around for a quick moment.

"Yeah," he smiled, "no problem. I got it"

So, Cas walked over to Charlie, carefully stepping over various cables, trying not to trip over anything.

Charlie greeted him with a smile as he arrived next to her.

"I've got some stuff for you to sign," she said, "you wanna come?"

"Yeah," he agreed, "sure." And he followed Charlie through the heavy door, back down the stairs.

"Dean is ..." he started while walking next to her, "Well he's great with kids"

"Yeah," Charlie smiled, "He generally is."

"Does he ...?"

"What," she chuckled, "have kids? No, he doesn't. But he, uhm ... well his childhood wasn't easy. He had to take care of his brother a lot. Learned a thing or two, I guess"

"Mhm," Cas only made. He wanted to know more, of course he did, but he wasn't sure if asking would be inappropriate.

"Maybe you should ask him," Charlie said as if she knew about his thoughts. "I'm pretty sure he'd tell you about it. And you kinda should know some stuff about him. As his boyfriend"

With the last thing, she smirked.

"I'm not ..." Cas started, "I mean ... Will you be referring to me that way all the time?"

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable," she said. "But if it does, maybe you should reconsider if you really wanna sign that contract"

"No, it's ... I mean it's weird. Kinda. But maybe I just need to get used to it"

"Yeah," Charlie said with a soft smile. "I get that. It's a weird situation, after all. But honestly, I think you're gonna do a good job. I think Dean made a good choice when he asked you to do it"

"Yeah?" Cas asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah," Charlie smiled. She pushed open the door to the bigger office and held it open for him. "You've just got the right vibes, you know?"

"Is that a compliment?" Cas chuckled.

Charlie pointed at a chair, and he sat down in it, Charlie next to him.

"Kinda, yeah," she said. "Overall, you are what we were looking for. I'm really digging the just a guy thing. Dean told me you had no idea who he was, that's pretty much perfect. And apart from your vibes as a sympathetic person, you've also got great chemistry with Dean in my opinion, and that just makes it even better."

"Mh," Cas hummed thoughtfully. He had never been told before to have chemistry with anyone, and for some reason, that threw him off.

"Can I ask you something?" He then said.

"Sure," she smiled.

"This thing ..." he started, "I mean, while we're doing this. Pretending to be dating. Dean's not gonna ... He won't, like ... see other people? I mean, fake date me, but really see others?"

"Are you getting jealous already?" She chuckled.

Cas felt a slight blush crawling over his cheeks. "No, I just, uhm ..."

"No," Charlie now laughed, saving him from an awkward explanation. "Well in theory, he could, and if he really wants to, I can't stop him, but I made the urgent suggestion not to do it. Because we want positive headlines to get rid of the rumours, and what we really don't need is _Dean Winchester caught cheating on his boyfriend_. And Dean's of course aware of that. So, no. You're exclusive"

"Okay," Cas answered quietly.

"Same goes for you, by the way," she added. "I mean again, I can't control what you do in your free time, but it's ... just, if you meet anyone, try to not be seen"

"Yeah," Cas stuttered, "Yeah, no, I ... I wasn't gonna ... I mean I won't. Not really ... not planning to, in the near future"

"Okay then," Charlie smiled. "So, I need some stuff from you. First off, here," she placed a paper in front of him, "please fill in full name, date of birth and address. Then sign at the bottom line here, and then on this one ..."

Charlie put down a row of documents in front of him. He had to fill some data in and took time to read through some stuff before signing, because if he had learned anything in his previous work life it was that you should never sign a contract that you haven't read. After signing various contracts, unofficial agreements, bank details and confidentiality agreements, Charlie handed him copies of everything alongside with another copy of the do and don't list, and then looked at him with a smile.

"Congrats," she smirked, "you're now officially an employee of WMR music"

"Thanks," Cas smiled. "Uhm, one more thing, though. The contract only said flexible work hours, so ... I mean, if I'm working as a lyricist, what do the hours look like? Because I gotta make sure I have someone to look after Claire"

"Mh, I see," Charlie said. "Well, we generally don't have strict work hours. Both the texting and the music depend on talking through stuff with the team, of course, so you should be there when everyone else is, but we're always rather flexible about the meetings if someone really can't make it. I suggest discussing that with Dean and Garth, who's working on the lyrics as well, and agree with them. And I think we won't be strict on you, especially not the first couple days. You just gotta be there at all. And as for your kid, when you're out acting with Dean, you totally can leave her here. I get that finding someone for her at random irregular times can be hard, and when we get you in on short notice, it's only fair if one of us looks after her while you're out playing heart-eyes for our publicity"

"Okay," Cas agreed. "Yeah, I have the impression she'd love to spend some more time with Jo"

"Yeah," Charlie smirked, "you gotta love Jo"

Cas packed up all the copies Charlie had given him and then made his way back upstairs to the studio. When he pushed the door open and stepped inside, Dean and Claire were sitting on a couch in the back. Dean had Claire on his lap, her way too short arms awkwardly clinging onto one of the guitars, and he was guiding her left hand to pluck the strings and make some lonely sounds.

Dean heard the door close and looked up. As he saw Cas, he smiled and tapped Claire's side.

"Look, your daddy's back," he said to the girl as Cas walked up to them.

He sat down on the couch right next to the two of them, and his daughter turned to him with a big grin.

"Daddy!" Claire beamed, "I made music! Dean showed me how to make music!"

"That's amazing, love," Cas smiled at her.

"Yeah," Dean said, "Claire, remember what you learned? Do you wanna show Daddy?"

Claire nodded eagerly and grabbed the guitar tighter. With Dean holding it better in place for her, she started plucking the strings with a concentrated expression on her face, playing a harmonic little melody. When she had finished, she turned her face back to Cas with a proud grin.

Her father gave the performance a little applause, and she broke free from Dean's arms and climbed over to him. Dean carefully put the guitar down next to him and watched with a smile how Claire climbed into Cas's lap.

"You did really great," Cas praised his daughter, making her proud grin even wider.

"You really did," Dean smiled at Claire. "You're a fast learner. A smart kid"

"Daddy," Claire now said, "Can we visit Dean more often?"

Cas chuckled at that, while Dean smirked.

"Would you like to visit Dean more often?"

"Yes!" She said. "He's really funny, and I like making music with him"

"Yeah," Cas smiled, "I think if that's okay for Dean, we can come by now and then"

Dean smiled at the both of them. "I'd be honoured"

Claire happily started jumping on Cas, and he held her down while laughing.

"Claire," he loved, "calm down. We can come back, but for today, we gotta leave. I'm sure Dean has some more work to do, he can't play with you all day"

The girl's smile faded slightly, and she first looked over to Dean, then back at Cas.

"But we come back?" She asked.

"Yeah," Cas said, "we come back. I promise"

"Okay," she said. "Bye Dean! You're funny!"

Dean chuckled. "Thank you, Claire. I'm looking forward to your next visit"

Dean said he'd walk them to the door, and after a quick visit at Jo's office where Claire said goodbye to her with a hug, they were standing right in front of the door, Claire back by Cas's hand.

"Alright then," Cas said, "thank you so much for the tour, and for letting Claire try all the instruments"

Dean chuckled. "My pleasure. We had a great time, didn't we, Claire?"

"We did!" The girl grinned.

"Yeah," he smiled. Then, he looked at Cas again. "You gonna be here tomorrow?"

"Uhm ..." Cas started, "Well I can try to. I'll have to check with Claire's babysitter. Charlie said to talk to you about the hours."

"Mh," Dean made, "Yeah. We can discuss that. We're a family-friendly company, always trying to accommodate parent's schedules," he smirked. "We can figure something out. It would be great if you could make it tomorrow, though. To talk through stuff, you know."

"Okay," Cas said, "yeah. Sure. I, uhm ... I'm sure I'll find someone for Claire. What time should I be here?"

"Oh we got no fixed times," Dean smiled. "I'm usually here at 9, some of the others start earlier. You don't have to be here before me, though. So, 9 or after is fine."

"Alright," Cas said, "I can manage that. See you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah," Dean smiled, "See you tomorrow"  
  


*  
  


On the way home, Claire hopped excitedly along the street by Cas's hand while telling him in detail about all the instruments Dean had let her try and the things he'd shown and taught her. Cas listened to her happy description and made some comments now and then, asked questions about what Dean had said and if she remembered everything, and while doing so, he really got convinced that Dean was definitely amazing with children, and it seemed like he was a really nice guy overall.

Generally, after meeting Dean’s colleagues and friends and talking more with him today, Cas felt like he hadn't made a bad decision when agreeing to the offer. Dean made an honest impression to him so far, and he seemed nice, correct, reasonable. He definitely wasn't one of those cliché rich assholes who expect everyone to do whatever they want, and while Cas of course hadn't really seen Dean in a work environment so far, he was rather sure it couldn't be so bad with everything he knew.

Back at home, he left Claire alone with her toys for a bit and filed his brand new employment documents. He wasn't exactly sure what to expect from his first day at work tomorrow, or from that whole unusual agreement in general, but he wasn't feeling too bad about it. Nervous, maybe. But it wasn't a bad feeling.

Next thing he did was calling Missouri. The elder lady lived a couple streets over and had been volunteering as Claire's babysitter for most of the girl's life so far. They had met by chance on the street a few years ago when Cas had just moved into this house and was taking baby Claire on a walk in her stroller, and ever since then, she had become a friend for Cas and sort of a grandma for Claire.

Missouri immediately agreed to babysit Claire the following day, and when Cas explained that it was because of a new job, she got all excited and congratulated him. She asked about what it was and how he found it, and even though Cas wanted to tell her, he wasn't sure if he should. So he said her he couldn't tell her anything yet, but probably she'd get to hear a story a couple days in, and Missouri seemed content with that. She was just happy that he had found something, and she was excited to spend time with Claire again.

After that, he picked Claire back up and took her into the kitchen where he sat her down on the counter with one of her stuffed animals as he started preparing dinner. She watched him cook and babbled some more about how much fun she had had with Dean. In a quiet moment, Cas told her that she'd have to stay with Missouri the next day, because he had to go to work again. To Cas's pleasure, his daughter didn't bother asking any questions about work, and happily accepted that she was in for a fun day with Missouri.

Some time, dinner was almost ready, Cas heard the front door open, and right away, a familiar voice yelled "Cas?" into the house.

"Kitchen!" He replied and turned to Claire with a smile. "Do you hear that? We got a visitor!"

Both of them turned to the door as only a second later, the person the voice belonged to appeared in the room.

"Hey," she grinned. 

"Hey," Cas replied with a smile.

"Jo!" Claire cheered and immediately threw her arms in the air in an attempt to be picked up.

The woman stepped inside the kitchen and picked the little girl up with a laugh.

"Hey sunshine," she said and booped the girl’s little nose, making her laugh before she pulled her little arms around the women's neck and hugged her.

Jo made an awkward move to put her purse down on the counter without letting go of Claire and then grabbed back to move her red hair out of the way.

With the girl still holding onto her, she turned around to Cas.

"Mh," she made and leaned in to look into the pan on the stove, "you're cooking?"

"Yeah," Cas chuckled, "And don't act like you didn't know that. Acting so innocent when we both know you came here hoping to get dinner"

Jo chuckled and shrugged. "Got me. A really smart cookie he is, your daddy," she leaned in and spoke to Claire, who laughed in response.

"We're doing pasta with fresh vegetables," Cas now smiled. "If you're gonna stay for dinner, you can set the table"

"Ay, boss," she laughed and poked Claire's side. Again, the girl laughed. "Claire, love, I gotta put you down"

Claire immediately let go of her and accepted being put down on the ground, where she ran off in the direction of the table and sat down on the rug below it, playing with some fluffs.

Cas watched over the cooking pasta for a while longer while Jo set the table and then convinced Claire to crawl out from underneath it. As Cas carried over the pan, Jo had already managed to sit Claire down in her chair, and the three of them started eating, both adults having an eye over the kid.

"That's delicious, Cas," Jo said after a while.

"Thanks," he smiled. "I guess there's a reason you're regularly barging in for dinner. Maybe it's just that I'm the better cook"

"Maybe, yeah," she laughed. "Maybe it's also that I like spending time with my best friend and my favourite adorable little Angel"

She side-eyed Claire here, who reacted with a little chuckle before she continued poking her pasta with the fork in her little fist.

"We like having you here, too," Cas said. "Wouldn't have given you a key if I didn't"

They chatted a bit more over dinner, and as soon as Claire was finished, she started getting restless, so Cas allowed her to go play. He stayed at the table with Jo, their empty plates in front of them, and both looked after Claire until she disappeared into the next room.

"Has she still got that much energy?" Jo asked with a chuckle as she turned back to look at Cas again.

"Yeah," he replied, "She’s very energetic. I think she sleeps better by now, though. Hasn't woken me up by jumping onto my legs in a couple days now"

Jo smirked and shook her head. "You think maybe it comes from being home more?" She then asked. "I mean she used to be out with Missouri more, and didn't they go out to the playground regularly, also meeting other kids?"

"Yeah," Cas sighed, "that could be a reason. I try to keep her busy, but I got things to do, you know?"

"I'm sure Missouri would be happy to take her to the playground even if you're just at home vacuuming"

"Mh," Cas hummed, "Yeah, probably. I don't know. She has, a couple times. But I ... I feel like I should be able to handle both, you know? It's not ... I mean, I got the house and the kid, but your average soccer mom does as well, and they all handle it"

Jo chuckled at that.

"You're not a soccer mom, Cas," she said. "And it's really not a shame to take a break from full time parenting now and then. Especially not as a single parent."

"Yeah," Cas only sighed. Nothing more. He looked over Jo's shoulder, staring at the wall for a moment, then he brought his gaze back onto her.

"I got a job," he then said.

Jo stared at him for a second.

"Seriously?" She then asked, her face lighting up.

"Yeah"

"Oh wow that's amazing!" She grinned at him. "Where? And how did that happen? You didn't tell me you were applying?"

"Yeah, well, I ..." Cas hesitated. "I didn't exactly apply. Wasn't planned. It just kinda happen. I kinda stumbled into it, you know? But, uhm ... I had kind of an interview today, and they asked me to be there tomorrow. We'll see how it goes"

Jo looked at him with a happy smile.

"That's great," she said. "I'm really happy for you, Cas. So is it another school or ...?"

"No, it's, uhm ... not as a teacher. Something ... yeah, something new. Something really new to me, really entirely new. But I'm not sure about how much I can tell you right now."

Jo raised an eyebrow at that.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement and stuff. And they said if I tell people about it they'd have to agree to not talk about it, but I'm not sure what exactly that means. Like if I have to make you sign something as well. I gotta ask them about that."

"Woah, okay," Jo said. She was sitting up straight now, eyeing Cas with a serious expression on her face. "That sounds like a big deal? What kinda job you got? Government?"

"No," Cas chuckled, "Not government. As if any top-secret government position would employ a freshly fired teacher"

"Who knows," Jo shrugged. "Also, a teacher fired for ridiculous reasons."

"Yeah," Cas sighed. "I'm over that, though. And I got a way better pay check now, so honestly, fuck them"

"Yeah," Jo said with a smile, "fuck them. So about your new job, it's a if-I-tell-you-I-have-to-kill-you kind of thing?"

Cas chuckled. "Not that extreme, no. It's just, they need to be in control of who knows what and who talks to whom. But I'll figure out under what circumstances I'll be able to tell you"

"Alright," Jo said, "So when I barge in for dinner the next time, let's say, Friday, you can tell me about it?"

"Probably, yeah," Cas chuckled.

"Great," she smirked. "I'm looking forward to your spicy secrets"

"Wow, big news," he laughed, "you're never interested in gossip otherwise"

"Yeah just you joke about me," she laughed, "you wouldn't have half your knowledge if it weren't for me"

"Yeah," Cas chuckled. "By the way," he then said, "have you ever heard of Dean Winchester?"

"The singer?"

"The singer"

"Yeah, of course," she shrugged. "Everyone has. Why?"

"Oh I was just ..." Cas said, "Well someone mentioned him, and I got myself hella embarrassed because I had no clue who that is"

"Yikes, Cas," Jo said with a judgmental look at her friend, "that's weak, even for you. His music is on all the radio stations. You've probably heard something by him, I'd bet on it."

"Is he good, then?"

"Yeah," she said. "I like his music. He's got a really good voice. He makes you _feel_ the song, you know? You should check him out on YouTube, honestly just get the feeling first hand. But a little advice," she smirked, "watch a live performance"

"Yeah?" Cas chuckled, "why is that?"

"Mh, you know," she smirked, "the vibes are different. Better. But also, he's really good looking. And he's even hotter when he's working his guitar."

"Mh," Cas made, "is that so?"

"Yeah," Jo chuckled. "And you gotta trust me on this, but he's _totally_ your type."

"Oh you're sure about that?"

"I am," she smirked. "As your best friend who knows you better than anyone and weirdly enough shares your taste in men, I tell you, that guy is your type. Just watch one of his live performances and then tell me I'm wrong"

"Fine," Cas chuckled. He was trying really hard right now to not burst. One, because he could not believe they were having this conversation just now, and two, because she was absolutely right and Dean was exactly his type, but he hadn't thought she'd be so aware of that, and more importantly, her pointing it out just like that made him think about what he had gotten himself into, and maybe that agreement with Dean wouldn't be that much fun after all.

"You can grab your laptop, and I can show you, actually," she proposed.

"Mh," Cas made thoughtfully. "No, I think I'm gonna do that later" Not that he wouldn't have enjoyed having Jo explain how amazing Dean was. But he simply didn't know how to act if she'd show him videos right now, he didn't know how to pretend it was his first time seeing Dean.

"Mh yeah," Jo smirked. "I bet you're doing that later. Alone."

"Oh come on," he rolled his eyes. "I'm not jacking it to the way some musician grabs his mic. I’m not that desperate"

"Ah, I don't know, are you?" She smirked. "You've been single for quite a while now"

"Oh come on," he groaned.

"Just saying," Jo smirked, "No shame in enjoying a look"

"Oh shut it," he groaned, mixed with a laugh. Well, that conversation would become even more embarrassing in retrospect after telling her about Dean, Cas was painfully aware of that. But on the other hand, she hadn't suspected he was lying. She had totally bought him having no clue about who Dean was. At least the acting was working out well enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Jo had stayed for a while longer that night, even after Cas had brought Claire to bed. They had talked more about this and that, had a good laugh together until they had said goodbye around 10.30.

After she was gone, Cas had checked on Claire again - who was, luckily, sleeping peacefully - and then disappeared into his own bedroom. After a moment of debating he got up with a sigh and grabbed his laptop. He opened up YouTube and searched for a live performance by Dean. Just because he was curious, that was all. He didn't do more than watching it - even though there was a certain thought, a certain urge inside him while he was watching, but after that weird conversation with Jo, he was way too proud to prove her right in every way. He really wasn’t _that_ desperate. Or at least that was what he liked to tell himself.

The next morning, he got up a bit earlier than he was used to and started his usual routine, getting himself ready for the day, then waking Claire up and helping her with breakfast and getting her ready.

He dropped her off at Missouri's with her little backpack that today contained nothing but two stuffed animals and a picture book, but she had insisted on bringing it. Both the elder lady and the little girl were equally excited to see each other, and seeing them hug and laugh right as she opened the door gave Cas a good feeling for the day.

He told Missouri that he wasn't sure when he'd be back to pick Claire up, and she ensured him that was no problem at all, she'd got time the entire day. Before he left, she wished him good luck for his new job, and she made Claire do the same, even though the girl didn't quite understand what that meant and where exactly her father was going.

On the bus, Cas suddenly got a lot more nervous. This thing had seemed more like a weird fantasy to him so far. Being a celebrity's fake boyfriend, and even getting paid for it, that seemed like the plot of a teenager's idol-obsessed daydream, but certainly not a part of Cas's boring normal life. Sunken in his thoughts like that, he almost missed his stop, and when the voice on the speakers announced the name of the station, he jumped up and hurried to make it out of the bus in time.

As he was walking from the bus stop to the building, which took another couple minutes, he sank right back into his thoughts again. This time, he was thinking about last night's conversation with Jo.

She had been absolutely right, Dean was his type, and he did find him attractive. That of course hadn't been news to him, he had known that before she had pointed it out. Cas had known Dean was _definitely_ his type the moment two days ago when Dean had taken off his sunglasses and smiled at Cas for the very first time.

The thing was, Cas had really thought he would be able to handle that. Easily. Maybe he had even thought that a certain amount of real attraction would make it easier to fake a relationship. And probably, he wasn't even wrong about that.

But it was something else Jo had said. The way she had immediately teased him about probably masturbating to the view of Dean, and the way he really hadn't been too far from actually doing it, that had made him painfully aware of his very real attraction to this man, and the fact that doing all those things with him, kissing and touching him just for the cameras, would definitely not be as easy as he had first imagined.

But then, on the other hand, Cas thought, it probably wouldn't be that hard either. Maybe it would be frustrating now and then, but Cas was convinced his self-control was pretty good, and after all he'd get to kiss the hot piece of man that Dean Winchester was, and even get paid for it. That wasn't too bad of a deal, and Cas thought for the sake of that and the very nice pay check he had been promised, he could handle some sexual frustration.

When Cas arrived at the door, he had mostly convinced himself that it would be alright and he could definitely handle it, and he pressed the button for the bell with a rather confident feeling.

It was Jo again who let him in, wishing him a friendly good morning, and out of a lack of knowledge of where to go, he went straight for her office again as soon as he was in. She smiled at him as he entered.

"Hey," she said and looked at him over the top of her computer screen. "You're early"

Cas glanced at his watch. Ten minutes before 9, that wasn't too bad. He hadn't been sure about how long it'd take him to get there, especially with dropping Claire off on the way, but he was content with the time.

"Yeah," he smiled, "I wasn't sure how long it'd take to get here with the bus and stuff. Figured, rather being a bit early"

"I see," she smiled. "I'm pretty sure Dean's got plans for you today, but he's not here yet, so ..." she pointed at the couch off to the side, "feel free to sit down and entertain me while you're waiting"

"Sure," Cas agreed and sat down on the couch. "Dean said he's usually in at around 9?"

"Usually, and around?" Jo chuckled. "He's here every morning at point 9 o'clock am, and you can literally set an alarm for that. Which is weird to me, honestly, because he's not a very punctual person. But I guess he just really loves spending as much time as possible here"

"I mean," Cas said, "it seems to be quite the dream job"

"Mh," Jo made, "Yeah, it's ... I mean it can be hard work, definitely, but Dean really kinda hit the bull’s eye. And he lives for it, that's for sure. He's in it with a lot of passion"

"But he's ... I mean, it's not just him. He couldn't do this without you, or Charlie, or the others that I haven't met yet"

Jo smirked. "Yeah," she said, "we're one passionate team behind it. But at the end of the day, Dean's the voice and the face, and the name, and to be honest with you, I'm glad that he's taking all the fame and I can go grocery shopping in peace"

"Yeah, I get that," Cas said, immediately remembering the chaos of his first encounter with Dean. "But on the other hand, people don't really appreciate the people behind him, do they?"

"Well," Jo leaned back, "the wide public, not really. It's just Dean Winchester for them and that's it. But as I said, I really don't want the attention. I know Dean appreciates what we do, he's totally aware that he needs us, and I've had my name listed on every single album he's ever made, so that's good enough for me."

"On every single one?" Cas asked.

"Every single one," Jo smirked. "Literally. Even the one we recorded on his uncle's tape deck in the back of the garage when he was 15. I was just a kid pushing the record button, but I got my name on that old little tape"

Cas eyed her as she said that. He hadn't thought before about how Dean's career might have started. He hadn't thought about a lot of things, he just now realized, and basically he didn't know a thing about the man he was pretending to be dating. Well, he now knew he had recorded his first 'album' on an old tape in the garage with his childhood friend, and the image of that scene made Cas feel something he couldn't exactly define, but he only now realized that he had no idea who Dean even was, and that he was the odd one out in a group of people that had known that man for years, if not even decades, or all his life.

Jo must have noticed Cas was quietly looking at her.

"What?" She asked with a chuckle.

"Oh," Cas suddenly fell out of his thoughts, "I was just ... Well I kinda imagined that. Just two kids recording in a garage. And today you're here, that's ..."

"Yeah," Jo smiled. "Would've never even dared to dream it"

They heard the front door, and then there were steps coming down the hallway.

"Oh that's Dean," Jo said with a smile at Cas.

Right after she had said it, the office door was opened and Dean stormed inside, looking as good as always with a bag over his shoulder and a cup of take-away coffee in his hand.

"Morning," Dean grinned into the room and kicked the door shut with his foot. Only now he noticed Cas sitting there. "Oh hey!" He grinned at him, "Morning! Wasn't expecting you to be here already!"

"Yeah," Cas smiled. "Morning. I tried to be on time. Ended up being too early"

Dean chuckled as he walked over to the two desks and tucked his bag away under the free one. Then he turned and put the coffee down in front of Jo with a charming grin.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Always," he grinned. He turned back around to Cas. "You been waiting for long?"

"No," Cas replied, "about 10 minutes"

"Yeah," Jo confirmed, "and we had a nice chat, no worries"

"Oh no," Dean glanced back at her over his shoulder, "Did you gossip? Share some embarrassing secrets? Do I need to bribe him to not tell?"

"Mh," Jo shrugged with a smirk, "wouldn't you like to know?"

"I can take that coffee away as fast as I brought it if you're gonna turn against me," Dean laughed.

"You wouldn't dare," Jo said and immediately tightened her grip around the cup.

"Anyway," Dean turned back to Cas with a chuckle, "you good? Ready for your new job?"

"Well," Cas said, "A bit nervous, maybe? But good"

"No need to be nervous," Dean smiled at him. "I wanna talk about some stuff with you, though, so if you wanna come with me?"

"Sure," Cas said hastily and immediately stood up. He followed Dean out of the office and over to one of the other rooms, the one with the beanbag chairs in it. Dean told him with a smile to sit down wherever he wanted to. Cas chose one of the couches, and Dean sat down on it as well, leaving an appropriate distance between them.

"Okay," Dean said and folded his hands in his lap. "Yeah. You wanna know a secret?"

"Mh?" Cas made, surprised by that start to the conversation.

"I'm nervous too," Dean said with an honest look into Cas's eyes.

"Seriously?" Cas asked, and he couldn't hold back a little smirk. Dean had pretended to be so cool and relaxed about everything, he really hadn't expected him to admit he was nervous.

"Yeah," Dean said with a slight chuckle. "Yeah, I am. This is a first for me as well." A short pause, then he added: "In faking a relationship, I mean. Never done that before. Don't know, maybe you have"

"No," Cas chuckled, "I haven't either"

"Okay," Dean said, "Okay, yeah that's ... at least we're on the same page, then" He let out another nervous chuckle. "Anyway. You're here really early, so I assume you found someone to look after the kid?"

"Yeah," Cas smiled, "She's with her babysitter. A friend, actually. Pretty sure she's having a great time"

"That's great," Dean smiled. "Can the babysitter outdo making music with me, though?"

Cas chuckled. "That's debatable, I think" He looked at Dean with a smile. "You were really great with her, though. Thank you. She didn't stop talking about it for the rest of the day"

"Not a big deal," Dean smiled, "really. I had fun as well. And she is a great kid. You're doing an amazing job raising her"

A soft smile from Cas. "Thank you"

Dean smiled back at Cas for a second before he talked again.

"Alright," he started, "So about the texting, I'll introduce you to Garth later and we'll figure out hours, and then he can show you what exactly he does and what you can expect. He's not in yet, though. You'll also meet the rest of the team today - well the ones that are here. So, pretty much everyone except for Sam. You'll meet him soon enough, though."

"Your brother Sam?" Cas asked. He remembered that here had been a mention of that name, and of Dean’s brother, the day before, but he wasn't entirely sure about that anymore with so much happening all at once.

"Yeah, exactly," Dean smiled. "He works with us in all things legal, but he isn't exactly part of the company. He's, uhm ... well he lives and works down in Cali, and he's a lawyer, working in a law office, quite the normal job actually, and we're like ... let's call it a permanent client."

"I see," Cas understood. "Stupid question, but do you generally work with people you're really close with? I mean your brother, and Jo mentioned you've been childhood friends, and you also said Charlie's your friend ..."

"Uhm," Dean chuckled, "well, not exclusively. I gotta trust people, of course. I'm just very lucky about Sam's career choices playing into my hands like that, and Jo is ... she's always been there, you know? She believed in me since the very beginning, and I think I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her. I mean I'm friends with everyone I work with, basically, but most of them just started out as colleagues, you know? Like Charlie, she was only working for me a couple years ago, and by now she's a really good friend. And the same goes for Ed and Harry, my ... well they like to call themselves the band, but you know, they're just two people so I don't really ... whatever," he chuckled. "It's not that I only employ people I'm close with, it's rather that I tend to befriend everyone"

"Yeah, I see," Cas smiled. He didn't say it out loud, but in his mind, he wondered if that would be the case for him as well. If he would still be here in maybe five years' time, able to call Dean his friend?

"Yeah," Dean smiled.

"I, uhm ..." Cas now started hesitantly, "I got another question. Organizational, if that's alright"

"Sure," Dean smiled, "what is it?"

"Well I was talking to my best friend yesterday, and ... well you said I can tell people that are close to me if they agree not to talk about it with anyone else. But I didn't ... I wasn't sure if I could just tell her or if she'd have to sign sort of a confidentiality agreement as well?"

"Ah," Dean made. "Yeah. Well just to be safe, I'd say have her sign one. Not to insinuate anything about your friend, or you, but ... you know, it's kind of a very delicate topic we're talking about"

"Yeah, I wasn't taking any offense," Cas said, "I know that. That's why I wanted to check on that with you"

"I'm glad you asked," Dean said. "Yeah, let her sign it before you tell her. You can ask either Charlie or Jo about it, they can give you the form. Your friend signs it, then you give it back to us."

"Alright," Cas said.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "Anything else? I understand that this is rather confusing"

"It's ... unfamiliar, I'd say," Cas replied. "But I have no more questions. At least not at the moment"

"Good," Dean said. "You can always ask, though. You can talk to me about anything"

"Okay," Cas replied quietly.

"Okay," Dean said. "One more thing from my side. It's, uhm ... Actually, it's something that Charlie suggested. She's brainstorming about how we best start this, like where to go to have a higher chance of being seen, and how to make it look as accidental as possible. While she's doing that, though, she ... well we talked about it, and she suggested that maybe we - you and I, I mean - we should probably get used to that before we go out trying to fool some paparazzi. Just to ... you know, to figure things out, see how we work it out together, see what we're most comfortable with and if we maybe need to set any further rules and boundaries."

"Yeah," Cas agreed, "Yeah that makes sense. I mean it's probably best to be somewhat used to it before going out. So what exactly are you suggesting we do?"

"Well," Dean said. He was still looking at Cas, but he seemed slightly embarrassed. That was another first for Cas, Dean had seemed very sure and confident about everything ever since their very first conversation, but after seeing him nervous for the first time, there now was embarrassment as well.

"It's Charlie who suggested it, just so we're clear. I didn't have anything to do with that, I just ... well, I had to agree because I know she's right. She suggested that we just make use of the time you're here anyway and try to generally act like a couple when we're together. Not if it gets in the way of our work, of course. Just, you know ... there's opportunities. And I mean we don't have to constantly do that. But like ... today would be a great opportunity to give it a first try, because not everyone knows about you already, and we can test first-hand how convincing we are"

Cas stared at Dean for a second.

"You ..." he then started, "you want me to ... like, go full couple mode with you, right now?"

"Yes," Dean said hesitantly. "I, uhm ... I mean I'm hella insecure about it just as well. But it's not a bad plan"

"Uhm ..." Cas stuttered. "Yeah. No, I mean ... it is a good plan. I just ..."

"Yeah," Dean said softly and looked into Cas's eyes with probably the most open, honest expression Cas had ever seen from him. "I know. Me too."

Cas looked right back into Dean's eyes for a moment, then he nodded silently.

"We, uhm ..." Dean added, "I mean we don't have to go full out today. If you ... Well if you wanna, we can agree on, like, a limit. Taking steps, you know? Like ... we could say, maybe, today, no kissing yet?"

"Yeah," Cas immediately nodded, "Yeah, that ... that sounds good. Great, actually. Steps sounds ... sounds good"

"Okay," Dean smiled at him.

"Okay," Cas agreed quietly.

Another soft smile at Cas, then Dean stood up. Now standing right in front of Cas, he said: "So, let's put on a show"

Cas chuckled nervously, but he stood up as well and stepped over the beanbag chairs alongside Dean, making their way to the door.

When Dean had pressed down the handle already, he stopped and turned back to Cas who eyed him with an irritated expression.

"Little steps," Dean said calmly and held his free hand out towards Cas. After an insecure look into Dean's eyes, Cas hesitantly took it.

Dean gave Cas's hand a soft squeeze alongside a supportive smile, a gesture that signalled something like _we got this_ , and only a second later, Dean opened the door and they stepped out into the corridor hand in hand.

It went smoother than Cas had initially expected. He was nervous and insecure at first, but knowing that Dean felt the same way did calm him for some reason, and the feeling of Dean's hand in his gave him just enough emotional support to take all his courage together and just do it.

At first, they experimented a bit with holding hands, they were just there walking up and down the corridor, holding hands, and after a while, it started feeling almost natural. At some point, Cas looked over to Dean, and as their eyes met, both formed a little smile. It was alright.

They then went over to actually interact with others around. Their first testing ground was Jo, because they both felt the most comfortable with that. So they went back into her office, this time not holding hands, but they were walking significantly closer than before.

Dean asked Jo a thing or two about some calls she should have gotten and how they went, and while talking to her, he sneaked his arm around Cas's waist, pulling him a bit closer into him. Cas's response was a little smile with a glance over to Dean, but Jo showed no reaction.

Then, Cas asked Jo about the form for the confidentiality agreement for his friend, and she immediately went into the file on her computer and asked him to give her the friend's personal information.

Cas leaned onto the desk right next to Jo to have a look, and Dean followed him. While Cas was telling Jo everything she needed to fill in, Dean was there behind him, real close, his hands on Cas's hips, and his breath in Cas's neck. Cas was weirdly aware of that, and he didn't know exactly how to feel about it, but he knew it didn't make him too uncomfortable. It was alright so far; it really was alright.

The three of them had a good laugh when Cas told her his friend's name and she realized it was Joanna as well. Cas said that they even used the same nickname, and Dean took that as an opportunity to joke about the choice of the name for awesome people. Jo felt offended by that, claiming that Dean couldn't just assume someone he didn't even know was just as amazing as his oldest friend. That led to some bickering between them that was finally interrupted by Cas who argued that Claire was a big fan of both Jo's, and that should be considered the most innocent and therefore most accurate judgment. Jo happily agreed with that, and Dean gave in as well.

By the end of that conversation, Dean had fully hugged Cas from behind, his hands folded on Cas's stomach and his chin resting on Cas's shoulder, while Cas had - after having to get used to the closeness for a moment - his hands on Dean's and his head leaned in slightly, leaned against the side of Dean's head.

"Alright," Jo finally commented on it, "what is it? Are you guys doing a test run or something?"

Dean chuckled, and feeling the vibrations of his chest in his back, Cas did as well.

"Yeah," Dean answered without letting go of Cas, "Yeah, actually, that's exactly what we're doing"

He freed one of his hands and lifted it to softly brush over Cas's cheek, making the man in his arms chuckle before they linked their hands on Cas's stomach again.

"What do you think," Dean asked, "are we convincing? Or is it too much? Or too little?"

"Mh," Jo made, "I'm biased of course, but in my opinion it's exactly the right amount of disgusting touchy-touchy-ness"

"Success, then," Cas smirked with a glance back at Dean.

"Yeah," Dean agreed, "Disgusting was exactly what we were going for"

"Well in that case, congrats," Jo chuckled. "You're gonna run your test with clueless participants as well?"

"Actually," Dean chuckled, "yes. And don't blame me, because that was Charlie's idea, but Ed and Harry haven't met Cas yet, so we're gonna mess with them a bit and see if they buy it"

"Alright," Jo laughed, "but if you end up with a guitar smashed over your head, make sure to blame Charlie!"

"That's a promise," Dean laughed.

Only a couple minutes later, Cas stood next to Dean on top of the stairs, right in front of the door to the studio. Really really muffled they could hear sounds, coming from inside.

"They're practicing," Dean quietly said to Cas, "So they'll try to ignore us. They're kinda used to me walking in on practice and they try to not let it disturb them. So I suggest we just go in, I pretend to do some stuff, you just stick to me and we make it a bit disgusting"

"Alright," Cas chuckled. "And they can take a joke, or ...?"

"It should be fine," Dean smirked, and after one more confirming nod from Cas, he pushed the heavy door open just wide enough for the two of them to slide in.

The music suddenly was way louder than outside. Cas immediately turned to its source, and he saw two men in one corner of the room, one on a guitar, one at the drums. They seemed to be having a good go, as they looked content with how it was going and at least to Cas, it sounded really good.

Both of them only looked over for a second. Cas saw Dean shoot a smile over to them with they both quickly returned before focusing on their music again.

Dean leaned in close and spoke into Cas's ear.

"See," he said, "I knew they would do that"

Cas slightly chuckled at that and instinctively reached for Dean's hand, which Dean allowed him to take.

Hand in hand and very closely together, they walked further into the room. Dean was leading the way, and Cas just follow him as closely as possible, stepping over cables and even more cables on the floor.

Dean stopped in front of the whiteboard that was mounted at the wall towards the end of the front part of the room. He pulled Cas in closer, put his arm around his waist again and looked at the whiteboard.

Cas allowed Dean to pull him close, he even leaned in a bit further and put his hand on Dean's chest. His eyes followed Dean's towards the whiteboard. There was a schedule on it, written with blue marker.

"What's that about?" He asked directly into Dean's ear. He didn't exactly whisper, since the music was still loud and they wouldn't have been able to understand each other otherwise.

"It's the schedule for practice and recording sessions," Dean explained. "We've got a new album in the making, release date is this fall, and those are the sessions for the first couple songs"

"Oh," Cas made and turned his face to Dean in surprise, "I didn't know there's an album in the making right now"

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. He turned his full body over to Cas, shifting Cas with him so that they were now standing face to face, really close. Their bodies weren't touching, Dean had made sure of that, but they weren’t far away from it. "We've been working on it for a while, but recording hasn't really started yet. Song-writing took a lot of time. More than expected"

Cas convinced himself to swallow his hint of inner panic down and softly put his arms around Dean's neck, and as he felt Dean's hands back on his hips, that gave him confirmation that he had made the right decision.

"Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

"Not keeping up with the schedule?" Dean said. "Yeah. I had a scare that we might have to postpone the release. But as of today, we're gonna finish in time"

"Great," Cas said, and he said it with an intense look into Dean's eyes and a smile.

"Yeah," Dean smiled.

The music stopped after a few final chords, Cas was rather sure that was the end of the song, and he forced himself not to look over, but he was almost sure they were now being stared at.

"Countdown I guess," Dean smirked, "until they call me out on this"

"Probably, yeah," Cas breathed with a smile.

Dean's answer was another smile on his own. He leaned in slightly, and he must have seen the quick sparkle of panic in Cas's eyes, because he whispered "calm".

No kissing today, they had agreed. And for just a second there, Cas thought Dean would break that promise. Because he leaned in, bringing his face so close to Cas's that Cas was sure - and scared - Dean would kiss him right then and there.

But he didn't. He pressed his cheek against the one facing away from the two other people in the room. Cas could feel stubbles of a beard against his skin, he was overwhelmed by Dean suddenly being that close, he even could smell his shampoo, and he closed his eyes, taking all that in as Dean whispered right into his ear.

"I wasn't gonna break my promise," he whispered, "it's all good"

Then, he felt a slight brush against the same cheek. It wasn't even a kiss, he knew that, he felt that it wasn't Dean's lips, but he understood what Dean had done there. The both of them knew that hadn't been a kiss, but the other two men in the room didn't. From their perspective, that must have definitely looked like a kiss on the cheek.

They still didn't react, though, so Dean took action again. Cas felt Dean's hand in his back, pulling him closer. Now, he could feel Dean's body right against his. The sudden warmth of Dean against him sent shivers through his entire body, and Cas didn't know a better way to react than holding closer onto him on his own.

And Cas was starting to wonder how far they would have to go, what even closer and more intimate things Dean would come up with, when finally, a reaction from Dean's band mates came.

"Hey!" one of them yelled, "Dean what do you think you're doing?"

"Yeah," the other one agreed, "get a room, jeez!"

With a content smirk on his face, Dean let go of Cas and they both took a step back like an embarrassed couple that just got caught making out.

Dean ran his hand through his hair before he turned to his colleagues, whereas Cas looked down at his feet. He was blushing, and that wasn't even part of his acting. It was nothing but his body's genuine reaction to everything Dean had just done.

"Oh yeah just complain," Dean smirked at them, "you were busy ruining that song, don't you think I didn't hear that"

"Everything went perfectly fine until you stormed in and turned this into a live music porn set," one of them said with a challenging grin aimed at Dean.

"Oh, you miss several notes and it's all my fault?" Dean laughed. "And live music porn set, really? That's an exaggeration beyond measure. But you know, if you wanna, we _could_ turn this into a-"

Only now, Cas looked up and shot Dean a glance that immediately made him shut up. He hadn't thought about that before, but whatever Dean was doing just now definitely was too much for him. That was crossing another boundary, at least for now, and maybe they would have to talk about that.

Both other men smirked and exchanged an amused look at Dean's sudden silence. Only a second later, one of them broke the awkward silence of the situation.

"Who's lover boy here, anyway?" He asked.

"Yeah," his colleague agreed, "mind introducing us?"

"Yeah, uhm ..." Dean grabbed Cas's hand and pulled him a couple steps towards the other two. Cas let him, still an embarrassed flush on his cheeks.

"Yeah," Dean said again, now standing right in front of his two colleagues with Cas by his side. "He's Cas. Cas, that's Ed and Harry"

"Hi," Cas said shyly, still holding Dean's hand, and leaning into his side for support. That wasn't part of his acting either, he really felt insecure about this right now, and as long as he could use Dean to boost up his courage, he would do it.

"Hey," both men replied at Cas.

"So, uhm ..." one of them – Ed, Cas was quite sure - started, "you two are ... what exactly?"

Dean replied with a grin and another question. "What do you think we are?"

"Well," the other one – Harry - said a lot more confidently than his colleague, "For starters, you're hella disgusting with the touching and the smooching and the giggles and whispers. The question is, will we need to remember the name and get used to you getting all touchy with him in the back?"

Now, Dean chuckled.

"Well, you'll definitely have to remember the name," he said. "The rest ..." he shrugged, "mmh"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," Dean grinned. "Cas, do you wanna fill them in, or shall I?"

"That's really on you this time," Cas chuckled. And he didn't even know what caused him to do it, but the thought was suddenly there, and he added with a smirk and a mocking voice, "babe".

Dean raised an eyebrow at that brand new nickname.

"Alright, _babe_ ," he replied with an even bigger smirk.

Ed and Harry right in front of them watched that interaction, both men with a confused expression on their faces.

"Okay," Dean started. He slightly pressed Cas's hand, a signal for Cas to let go, and he did. He let go off Dean's hand, and he took a step away from him, creating an appropriate distance between them.

"So, this is Cas," Dean explained. "You better remember the name because he's our latest team member, joining Garth with the lyrics."

Both other men stared at Dean, obviously not quite understanding what was going on, but neither of them asking a question.

"Oh god you should see your faces right now," Dean laughed. "So, Cas here is on the one hand our badly needed support on the lyrics issues, but at the same time he's gonna help me out with the PR fiasco we talked about"

"You ..." Ed now tried to follow, "you're getting your boyfriend in on the job to do some PR for you?"

"No," Dean said, "No, that's the whole point. Because look, Cas here isn't my boyfriend. Actually, we're not _anything_. We just met for the very first time this week. Though, _officially_ , as far as the press is concerned, and the paparazzi and the rumours, Cas _is_ my boyfriend. That disgusting touchy giggly shit you just saw is exactly what we'll let some paparazzi see, and then we let the media do their thing"

"You're kidding?" Harry asked.

"No," Dean chuckled.

"He's kidding?" Harry now turned to Cas.

"No," Cas chuckled. "That's exactly what it is"

"But you ..." Ed now said, "you just were ... I mean with the making out back there ..."

"Yeah," Dean grinned, "we were hella convincing, weren't we? You totally bought it" He turned to Cas, "they totally bought it"

Both Ed and Harry were staring now, and Cas decided to take part in the conversation.

"We wanted to do, like, a test run," he explained calmly. "We already did something similar downstairs with Jo, but she knew who I am, so we decided to try it on someone who's got no idea at all. We wanted to see if we'd pass as a convincing couple. What do you think, did we?"

"Yeah," Dean added, "constructive criticism? Any feedback? Too disgusting, not disgusting enough, anything?"

The two of them exchanged another look, both still confused, then Ed answered.

"Well," he said, "you had us both convinced. Like, totally. So I guess, the right amount of disgusting? You'd definitely fool some paparazzi with that show you just pulled off back there"

"Absolutely," Harry agreed. "No worries, because that shit was convincing. But real talk, Dean, you're serious about that plan? And Charlie approved of it?"

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I'm absolutely serious," he said, "and Charlie _approved_ of it? Dude Charlie _came up with it_ "

They spent a couple more minutes convincing Ed and Harry that they really weren't being made fun of and that really was what was going on. That conversation ended with the two of them accepting what they were being told, but also deciding that they would have a talk with Charlie later just to be sure.

Dean and Cas soon left them to another round of practice and made their way back downstairs, chatting about how well everything had worked out, and both of them admitted they hadn't expected it to go that well at the very first try.

After some more chatting in the hallway, Dean led Cas into the bigger office and introduced him to Garth, the team's so far only lyricist and another friend of Dean's. Dean did a little introduction, explaining to Garth who Cas was and what he was gonna do, and after that he excused himself saying he'd have to do some of his own work and he left Cas with his brand-new colleague.

Another little small talk chat during that Cas mostly learned that Garth, other than him, wasn’t directly employed by WMR music but that he was a freelancer who just spent most of his time working with Dean, then Garth started introducing Cas to the work that was expecting him. He gave him a short overview about what his job was exactly and what he did, then showed him some more detailed examples from previous songs' lyrics.

Cas learned that while Dean was involved in the writing of every song, he didn't come up with all the texts on his name. In most cases, Garth explained, Dean scribbled out a first draft of what he had in mind and then gave it to him to work through and review it. They'd then sit together and discuss everything, working through it until they'd find the final solution together.

In other cases, Dean would approach Garth with an idea, or they'd come up with one the team meeting, and he then would work out his first draft that Dean then got to review.

And sometimes, Garth said, he'd also just scribble some stuff down on his own and present it to Dean, proposing an idea that they'd then realize together - or not, if none of the others could be convinced.

Cas's job would be, as Garth explained, to help him with the reviewing and improving of the texts. Cas was openly insecure about how that would work and he told him he had no experience at all, but Garth calmed him with the advice, similar to what Dean had said, to just trust his gut and go with what sounded good.

Being busy like that, the day went by really fast. Cas didn't see Dean a lot more after he had dropped him off with Garth. They had sat together in the kitchen for lunch for a few minutes, but then Jo had called in Dean for an important phone call, and Cas had been left with Garth again - who seemed to be not as surprised about the entire fake relationship thing as Ed and Harry, but still sceptical about it.

In the late afternoon, Garth decided that was enough input for Cas's first day, and after checking with Jo, Cas was free to go home.

In the hallway, he - magically - ran into Dean again.

Dean immediately smiled at him, then noticed Cas's jacket and bag.

"You heading home?" He asked.

"Yeah," Cas smiled. "Garth was done with me for today, and I checked with Jo, so ..."

"Oh yeah it's fine, I wasn't ..." Dean started. "I told you, we don't have fixed hours. As long as you get the work done, you do you, really. Just because I'm here all night doesn't mean you have to as well," he smirked.

"You're working late?"

"A lot, yeah," Dean smiled. "I like to just sit in the studio at night and think. Helps me with the songs"

"That sounds nice, though," Cas smiled.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "Hey, Cas, you ... I just wanted to say, I think you did really good today."

Cas couldn't help blushing a bit again.

"Thank you," he said. "Though, you did most of it"

"Oh I couldn't do any of it without you," Dean said. "You're really giving me a lot to work with. I mean it. I think getting you on the team was a good decision"

Another smile from Cas. "Thank you"

Dean looked at him with a soft expression.

"Do I see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Cas smiled. "Same time"


	5. Chapter 5

Cas got used to the more normal part of his new job quite quickly. The rest of his first week was mostly dedicated to getting into the song-writing job, and with Garth's help, Cas really got into it quite easily.

Dean saw how eager Cas was to do well with his new task and agreed to let him focus on it for now, and he really did have other things to do as well than being touchy with Cas all the time.

What they made kind of a regular thing, though, was keeping their practice up during lunch. They tried to act as much as possible like a couple while having lunch in the kitchen, and judging by their colleagues’ chuckles and eye-rolls, they were perfectly disgusting again.

By Friday, Cas had gotten used to his new position and he also felt rather comfortable with all things concerning Dean.

The weekend would be free for him, he had talked to Dean about that. Apparently, they usually held meetings or recording sessions on Saturdays, but this week there was no team meeting. Dean would be there practicing with the band, but Cas didn't have to come in since he wasn’t involved with the actual music-making.

On Friday night, as promised, Jo came over for dinner again, this time visibly excited for the news she had been promised. She even brought dinner, as she said as an apology for always bursting in uninvited.

Jo brought pizza, and the three of them sat down in the kitchen and enjoyed it with great fun. Claire was always happy to see Jo, and having her over for dinner always turned into an event for the little girl.

Tonight, both adults focused on Claire once again, letting her babble most of the time and telling them about things she had done with Missouri this past week, things she had learned and how much fun she had had.

At some point, Jo brought up Cas's new job. In a pause from Claire, she glanced over to him and asked what he'd been doing all the time. Cas's reply was a side glance at his daughter and a mouthed "later".

Some more time filled with chatting, laughing and entertaining Claire went by before Cas convinced her to go to bed. After he had tucked her in, he returned to Jo who had made use of the time and cleaned up the remains of their pizza party and was now sitting back at the table, with drinks, ready for a story.

"So," she grinned as soon as Cas had sat back down, "I'm dying for the news. Did you figure out how to tell me?"

"Actually, yes," Cas said, "I did." He placed the folder he had grabbed on the way on the table. With Jo's eyes following his hands, he opened it up and pulled out the single piece of paper that was inside and placed it in front of her.

She looked at the paper for a moment, then glanced up at him, then back down at the paper.

"Confidentiality agreement?" She read the headline out loud. "You really weren't kidding, then"

"I really wasn't," Cas said calmly. "You don't have to sign it. Your decision. But if you don't, I can't tell you"

"Mh," Jo hummed as she started reading the text in front of her. As she reached the name of the company, she stopped. "WMR music," she said thoughtfully, "were have I heard that before? And what have you got to do with music?"

"The answer to that really depends on if you sign it or not," Cas said quietly.

"Yeah yeah I got it," she said and continued reading.

"So," she then said and looked up to meet Cas's eyes after she had finished, "bottom line is, I can't tell anyone what you told me, I especially am not allowed to talk to press in any way, and generally the only one I should talk about the topic with is you?"

"Yeah," Cas said. "That's basically it. You gotta keep a secret for me, if you will"

"Yeah," she said, "done that before without signing a contract. You got a pen?"

"Sure," Cas smiled and pushed it over to her. He watched his friend sign the agreement. After she had handed it back over to him and he had placed it back in the map, she eyed him with a powerful look.

"Now shoot," she said seriously. "My lips are sealed."

"Alright," Cas said and sat up a bit straighter. "WMR music. You heard the name before because I asked you about it. WMR music is Dean Winchester's record label."

He could see Jo's eyes widen.

"You're kidding," she said.

"I'm really not," Cas chuckled.

"You've met _the_ Dean Winchester?"

"Yeah," Cas smirked. "We've met. I'm working for him. Well, rather with him, actually."

"You ..." she started, then interrupted herself. "No, hold on. So when you asked me about him, and I was teasing you about how he's your type, you knew him already?"

"Yeah," he smirked. "I knew him already when you told me how hot he is"

"God," she groaned and buried her face in her hands. "God Cas why did you let me say all that"

"What should I have done in your opinion?" He chuckled. "I wasn't allowed to tell you that I know him. And apart from that, you were absolutely right, so ..."

"Oh so he _is_ your type," she now grinned.

"He is," Cas smirked, "but I'm only admitting that because you're legally not allowed to tell anyone about this conversation"

"That's alright, I can still tease you about it in private," she chuckled. "So, what's your job, then? What does _the_ Dean Winchester need an English teacher for?"

"Well," Cas started, "there's two things I do for him. Kinda. One, I'm technically a lyricist. So, I work on his song’s lyrics. To make it short, tweaking his drafts to make them better, adjusting rhymes, rhythm, you know."

Jo stared at him.

"You're writing lyrics for Dean Winchester?" She breathed.

"Well, not writing them. Improving them, maybe. Adjusting them. Not exactly writing from the start"

"So you're working on the new album?"

Cas only shrugged with a smirk.

"Oh I hate you so much right now," she said quietly.

"I know," he chuckled. "But that's not even the reason why I wanted to tell you. It's about the other thing, actually"

"You can make it even worse?" She asked. "Well, better, actually. But also worse. God I can't believe it!"

"If the lyrics part makes you freak out already, maybe we shouldn't talk about the other thing," Cas laughed.

"Are you out of your mind?! Of course we're gonna talk about the other thing!"

"Alright," he chuckled. "I, uhm ... I wanted to tell you right away, because if that plan works, there's gonna be press, and I wanted you to hear it from me. Not from tabloids"

"Okay?"

"There's gonna be photos," Cas explained calmly, "of Dean Winchester and me. There has been one already, online, but that wasn't part of the plan and he tried to keep it down because it was accidental and Claire was in it and ... anyway. There's gonna be photos that will look like snapped by chance, and they're gonna make tabloid headlines and some gossip and all that, but they're approved by his PR team. They're staged, to some extent."

"What kind of photos?"

"Photos that heavily imply an intimate relationship between us"

Jo stared. "Come again?"

"Long story short," Cas said, "Dean Winchester asked me to pretend to be his boyfriend for press coverage. He's got that image problem and hopes to solve it by making headlines with me. Basically, you're probably gonna see some magazines showing me kissing Dean Winchester, and it'd be great if you wouldn't freak out about it"

"Not freak out about it?" She laughed out ironically. "Cas do you have only the slightest idea about how insane this sounds?"

"I do," he said, "believe me, I do. What do you think was my reaction when he offered me the job?"

"Yeah, I'm wondering, how did that happen in the first place? How did you stumble upon _that_?"

Cas chuckled at the thought. "Well I kinda owe it to Claire, because she dropped her ice cream on him"

Now, Jo laughed. "Claire did _not_ drop ice cream on _Dean Winchester_ "

"She did," Cas laughed. "We were in town, she fell, he was just walking by and her ice cream landed on him. He was really sweet though, like she was crying and he immediately stopped and asked if she's alright, if he could help."

"And you had no clue who he was," she concluded.

"Right," Cas chuckled. "I really thought he was just some guy. When people started taking photos of him, I kinda started doubting."

"Jeez," she laughed. "And then, what? He just was like _oh hey you're kinda cute, wanna be my fake boyfriend?"_

"Uhm, kinda, yeah," Cas said. "We talked a bit, he bought Claire new ice cream, really sweet. Then he just asked if I'd be interested in a job, and here we are"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah," Cas chuckled.

"Why?" She asked. "I mean, why you? What made him ask you for that when he literally just ran into you?"

"I don't know," Cas shrugged. "He said that I'm exactly what they had been looking for. Perfect fit, apparently."

"Hm," she made, eyeing Cas.

"What?" He chuckled.

"Oh I'm just ..." she said. "Well, either he was really desperate to find someone to do that, or ..."

"Or what?"

"Or Dean Winchester thinks you're boyfriend material," she smirked.

"He does not"

"Mh yes he does," she smirked. "He saw a chance and an excuse to make out with you and he took it"

"He didn't," Cas chuckled, but actually, he wasn't so sure about that. Because yes, he had wondered about that as well. He got the point about him being a down to earth guy, and him not knowing who Dean was, and that probably looking on good on Dean's publicity. But Dean had asked so little questions, he had immediately offered Cas that job, and that was ... yes, admittedly, it was kind of weird.

"Yes he did," Jo smirked. " _The_ Dean Winchester wants to tap that ass"

It took Cas's mind some effort, but he managed to ban that thought right away. Maybe she was right, and maybe Dean really did want that. Not that Cas would've minded if he did, hell no. But he really couldn't use having that thought on his mind, especially not when interacting with Dean on a daily basis.

"Well tough luck for him," he said, "because that's on the no-go list"

"On the what now?" Jo chuckled.

So Cas started explaining his agreement with Dean to her, he explained the list with its do's and don'ts, the boundaries they had set to not make it too uncomfortable for either of them, and the _if I fuck up you get to kick me in the nuts_ rule Dean had introduced.

"So, let me get this straight," she said. "You've got a weird as shit agreement with _the_ Dean Winchester which makes you pretend to be his boyfriend, and covered by that agreement, he's allowed to do pretty much everything with you except for literally fucking you"

"Uhm ..." Cas said. Hearing it phrased like that made it seem even weirder, but she wasn't wrong. "Pretty much, yes. But he ... I mean he's a really nice guy, and he totally accepts if I'm uncomfortable with something. He doesn't ... he really works _with_ me, you know? On eye level. He doesn't make me do anything I absolutely don't want"

"So he's not ... I mean you hear that all the time, right? About celebrities who are the worst assholes you've ever met if they don't get their way for once"

"He's totally not like that," Cas smiled. "I haven't known him for long of course, but from everything I've seen so far, he's a really nice guy"

"Mh," Jo made, taking a moment to take all that in. "My best friend's kissing Dean Winchester for a living," she then chuckled. "Insane"

"Well, I haven't kissed him yet," Cas argued with a smirk. "And I really just do my normal work, mostly"

"You're gonna, though"

"Yeah," Cas sighed. "I'm kinda nervous about that. Is that weird? Should I be more relaxed about it?"

"Dude," Jo chuckled, "kissing one of the most successful pop stars of the decade? You're living thousands of teenage girls’ daydreams; I would be concerned if you weren't nervous"

They kept chatting about Dean, and even though Jo got slightly more used to the idea of Cas's new job, she still told him multiple times that she just couldn't believe it. She also kept teasing him about Dean being his type and him totally enjoying this, which Cas couldn't deny, and she was convinced of Dean finding Cas at least slightly attractive as well. Cas tried to talk her out of that idea, simply because he didn't want to think about it. He didn't tell her, but he really wanted to keep this professional. Well, as professional as an agreement like that one could possibly be. But Cas didn't want any thoughts about Dean other than professional ones, he didn't want fantasies about Dean, and he certainly didn't want to imagine Dean wanting him _that way_ , because combined with his own attraction towards his new boss, that would've made their plan unnecessarily hard for him.

Jo stayed for quite a while that night. Sure, they had a lot of exciting things to discuss. When she finally left quite after midnight, Cas was exhausted, but happy. That had been an exhausting conversation, sure, but he really had needed her to know about it before she'd discover his face on some magazine covers. And it felt good having someone familiar know about it. Dean and all the people around him were one thing, and Cas was really glad they all were that welcoming towards him, but it was still different than talking to Jo, his best friend, who knew him inside out and had been there for years already. Yes, he was really glad she now knew, and he was really glad she was there.  
  


*  
  


The weekend went by really fast. Cas spent a lot of time with Claire. He had been away a lot over the course of the week, so it was only fair to dedicate Saturday and Sunday to his daughter.

On Saturday, she asked for the first time about his new job. The two of them were sitting at the kitchen table once again, Claire on Cas's lap, and she was colouring a picture in her colouring book, trying really hard to entirely stay within the lines with Cas's help. While colouring, she asked where he was going every day, and Cas explained it to her.

She didn't seem too happy about it when she learned that he would be gone for that time every day for quite a while, and she said she had already hated that with his old job - to which Cas chuckled in response saying that nobody really liked going to work that much, but he had to.

Claire then asked why he had to, which lead to a long explanation about money and the costs of living, and Cas was genuinely surprised by how much of it his daughter understood right away.

When she asked what he did at his job, he tried to explain it as vaguely as possible. It didn't take him a lot of effort though, because as soon as Claire heard Dean's name, she was immediately satisfied. She concluded, because her Daddy worked with Dean, she'd definitely get to visit him and his funny instruments again, and Cas happily confirmed that.

It was fascinating to him. Claire liked Dean so much, and she had such great fun playing around and making music with him, and despite all of that she didn’t have the slightest idea of who he was. She didn't have a clue that probably thousands of people worldwide would give a lot to be in her position. She spent time with international pop star Dean Winchester at his personal studio, but to her he was just the funny ice cream man who let her pluck on his guitar.

Monday started just like every other day the previous week had, with one little difference. When Cas dropped Claire off at Missouri's, she wished him fun at work, and this time she meant it, knowing that he was going to see Dean.

At work, Cas sat down at his newly assigned work space right away, getting to work with the lyrics Garth had given him. It was a song for the new album, and Cas felt like he had to really give his very best on this, even though Garth had told him to just try some things, get used to it, because he would still be there to help.

Well, Garth wasn't physically there, because, as Cas had learned from Charlie last week, he did take work home a lot. Everyone seemed okay with that, and Cas really understood where he was coming from when he later told him that he worked better in his own little atmosphere.

So that Monday, Garth wasn't there, and Cas was sitting in the office alone with Charlie, both quietly working, when Dean came in.

He greeted Cas with a charming smile which Cas immediately returned, but then Cas didn't really bother any further and turned back to his work while Dean quietly talked to Charlie.

Cas only looked up again quite a while later, when Dean stopped right next to his desk and said his name.

"Cas?"

"Yes?" Cas put down the pencil he had been using to make notes in the lyrics in front of him and turned his face to Dean.

"I'd like to talk to you, if you can spare a minute?"

"Yeah. Sure," Cas said and immediately stood up.

"Great," Dean said and led the way. Cas followed him again into the room with the beanbag chairs, where they both sat down on one of the couches next to each other.

Cas gave Dean an expectant look, and after a quiet second, Dean spoke.

"Alright," he said. "So, Charlie has worked out some stuff. That first photo is a week old now and we're gonna give it a first try this week, staging something. She's done some research about where we're most likely to be seen, and I didn't bother asking what exactly she did, but well ... she thinks if we're going on a coffee date at Giovanni’s tomorrow afternoon, there's a good chance."

Dean made a short pause.

"I think there might've been an anonymous tip involved," he then added with a chuckle. "But as I said. I ain't gonna ask. Let her do her thing, she knows what she's doing"

"Okay," Cas said with a look straight at Dean. He had been prepared for this, but he still was nervous about it.

Dean seemed to notice that, so he gave Cas a soft smile.

"It'll be fine," he said. "We're just gonna act like we practiced. You've done all that already, and you did really good"

"I know," Cas said quietly, "I ... it's just ... around here, the lunch breaks and stuff, that's sort of a familiar space, and if I fuck it up or start laughing it's fine because everyone knows what we're doing. But out there, with a camera, I just ... I mean I got no second chance. I have to ..." he sighed. "If I make a mistake, I ruin this entire thing for you, and that scares me"

"Hey," Dean said softly and gave Cas's shoulder a soft pat. "Listen, Cas, I totally get that. I could say I'm not nervous about it, but that would be a blatant lie. I got the same worries as you do, really. But I think that we've worked out a good dynamic the last few days, and we're working well enough together to improvise our way out even if we fuck it up a bit"

"You think?" Cas asked.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "I got you, okay? I'm there all the time, and they're gonna focus on me, not you. So even if you get stuck at some point, I'm there and I got you. It's gonna be fine"

Cas looked straight into Dean's eyes for a second, then he nodded.

"Okay," he said. "Yeah. I got it"

"That's the spirit," Dean grinned.

Looking at Dean's grin made Cas smile slightly as well.

"So," he asked, "have you got a plan for tomorrow?"

"Mh," Dean made, "not really. It's a coffee date, so that's what we're gonna do. We'll get a table outside so we definitely can be seen, have coffee, talk. It shouldn't be much different from our usual lunchbreaks. Just go with what seems plausible for the situation"

"Okay," Cas agreed.

"One thing, though ..." Dean hesitated.

"Yeah?"

Dean sighed. "Well, I know we agreed on steps and making sure we're comfortable and all, but ... well it's been a week, and we're still kinda stuck at step one, and I was thinking ... I mean I told you I don't have a fixed plan for tomorrow. But just in case, if it fits the situation ... what I'm tryna say is, if I kiss you, I wanna be sure you're okay with that."

Cas wasn't quite sure what to say to that. Easiest would be to tell Dean that it wouldn't be a problem at all and he was fine with it, but Cas knew that wasn't the truth.

"Will you?" was what he finally decided to ask.

"I don't know," Dean shrugged. "I might. Or might not. But if I do ... well, one, I can't risk having you freak out about it in front of a camera. But two, and that's more important to me personally, I don't wanna make you uncomfortable"

"Yeah," Cas breathed. He understood that, and he really appreciated Dean's concern, but he couldn't give him an answer. He knew he probably had to allow him to do it, as it was on the do's list, but this was Dean asking for what he was comfortable with at the moment, and Cas simply didn't know.

"I, uhm ..." he stuttered and nervously ran his hand through his hair. "God, I don't know. To be completely honest with you, Dean, I just don't know. All this, it's ... it's so confusing to me, and I'm nervous about it, and I ... I know what I agreed to, of course. But I just don't know. I can't promise you that if you kiss me tomorrow, I will be able to stay in character. I don't know if I will."

"Okay," Dean said softly. "How do you _feel_ about it? Without debating, what does your gut say?"

"I ..." Cas started, then stopped again with a sigh. "I just don't know. I'm sorry. But I ... God. I've never kissed you, I don't know how I'd react"

"Yeah," Dean sighed, "that's fair"

He eyed Cas for a moment in complete silence. He was looking into his eyes, and Cas just silently kept the eye contact. It felt good. Weird, in a way, but at the same time, good. Dean's eyes seemed familiar to him at this point.

"Do you give me _permission_ to kiss you?" Dean now asked calmly.

Cas hesitated for just a second, still staring back into Dean's green eyes.

"Yes," he then said quietly.

For another second, nothing happened. None of them moved, none of them spoke, they only kept looking at each other.

Then, Dean was suddenly right there. He leaned in and suddenly was so close to Cas, his face so close to Cas's, their noses almost touching.

He saw that Dean had closed his eyes, and within a split second Cas did the same. He closed his eyes, and then he didn't even have time for any mental preparation for this, because he already felt Dean's lips softly brushing against his own.

It was a short kiss, only a second or two, and Dean had been rather shy about it. A quick brush, two pairs of lips locking, creating a unit for just an instant, nothing more than that.

Then, Dean's lips were gone again, and all of a sudden, Cas knew exactly what he felt.

It was one thing that was taking up his entire mind right now: _don't go_. That was all that Cas felt and thought in that moment, _don't go, please stay. Stay and kiss me again. Pull me closer, and kiss me again._

Slowly, he opened his eyes again, and the first thing he saw was Dean's face. Right there, right in front of him. His cheeky freckles seemed to stand out even more than usual, and the green eyes were looking at Cas with an insecure expression.

"Okay?" Dean asked quietly.

_I loved it_ , Cas thought. _I loved every millisecond of it. Please do it again._

"Yeah," Cas breathed.

"You think you could handle me doing that tomorrow?"

_I'd do a lot if it meant you will_ , Cas's mind answered inside his head.

On the outside, he only nodded. He couldn't even form a coherent answer to tell Dean.

Cas really didn't want it to be that way, but fact was, right now his heart was beating a lot faster than before, he could still feel the soft skin of Dean's lips on his own, they were still moist from the kiss, and his mind was screaming about it, about Dean, unmistakably reminding him that this was Dean, and he'd just kissed him, and he _so_ wanted more of that.

And as he was nervously looking into Dean's eyes, losing himself in them, and as his mind and entire body were freaking out over Dean and the kiss, there was a tiny little part of his mind remaining reasonable, and this tiny little part was only just now realizing that probably agreeing to this job offer had been a big, a very very big mistake.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dean had asked after Cas had done nothing but staring at him in silence for a couple of moments, finally ripping him out of his trance.

"Yeah," Cas had stuttered and anxiously avoided Dean's eyes all of a sudden. "Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Are we done?"

"Uhm," Dean had replied in perplexity, "yeah. I guess."

"Great," Cas had said. Nothing more than that. "Great," and with that he had hurried out of the room, leaving Dean behind all alone and confused.

Now, several minutes later, Cas was hiding in the restroom. After splashing cold water in his face to clear up his thoughts, he was now leaning against the cold tiles of the wall, hands gripped into his hair, taking slow and regular breaths to calm himself down.

_It's all good,_ a voice inside his head tried to calm him, _nothing happened. If you get your shit together now, it's all fine._

_Bullshit!_ another voice yelled over the supportive one. _You ran out like a fucking idiot and just left him sitting there. He probably thinks you're a weirdo. How are you gonna pull this shit off for him if you can't even handle kissing him?!_

_Well maybe we embarrassed ourselves a bit,_ the calm voice argued, _But that's not a big deal. He'll understand that._

_Pah!_ the angry one yelled. _He won't understand, why should he?! Having a breakdown over a tiny little kiss, that's what he's paying you to do, Jesus Christ! Imagine a hooker crying in the bathroom every time they-_

"God," Cas groaned, a suddenly, both the voices were gone and it was just him in this empty cold bathroom.

Both of his mind's voices did have a point, Cas knew that. On the one hand, Dean had been very understanding so far and he probably would let this one little freak out pass as well, given that Cas could ensure him that we wouldn't do the same thing again tomorrow. And he wouldn't, Cas was quite sure about that. Kissing Dean out there as part of his acting, he could do that. But this very first kiss just now ...

The angry voice was right. This was what Dean was paying him to do. This wasn't about him as a person, absolutely not. And Cas _knew_ that.

He of course knew him and Dean weren't _actually_ dating, and he knew that nothing they did together mattered. None of their familiar little touches or the hugs or the smiles mattered. Not even that kiss mattered. None of it was real, it was all just pretending, acting. It was just, well, their job.

Yes, Cas knew all that. But knowing that didn't change that Dean was so unfairly handsome, so ridiculously attractive to Cas. It didn't change that his freckles had to be pretty much the most adorable thing Cas had ever seen in an attractive man, and that his eyes with their sparkle and their intense green colour immediately caught Cas's attention as soon as he even glanced by them.

Dean was amazing, and he was his type, but Cas was also aware that he by far wasn't the only one who thought that way. There was a reason Dean had fans, and surely his music was a big part of that, but his looks and his incredible smile were just as well.

On a rational level, Cas simply didn't care. Sure, Dean was pretty amazing. He was handsome and nice and attractive and talented and his eyes and freckles were absolutely stunning, but so were other men, Cas was rather sure. Maybe this one did hit quite a number of Cas's preferences, yes, but he also was his boss.

It didn't have to be Dean, Cas had simply decided. It just didn't have to be him. Sure, he had all that, and additionally he was amazing with Claire, but no.

There's a time and a place to fall in love, Cas thought. And right here, right now, this just isn't it. Because this chance, this job, this was probably the best opportunity Cas had gotten in a very long time. Maybe ever. His official job only was a cover in the first place, but Cas knew that if he did good and convinced the others that he had it in him, he could make something out of that.

Cas wanted to give his best in this, for both parts of his new job. And he wanted to be professional about it, he really wanted to be, in order to work towards the best possible future for Claire, and for himself.

He wanted to be professional about the song-writing, and he wanted to be even more professional about him and Dean's acting.

He didn't _want_ Dean's touch to feel so good on him. He didn't _want_ Dean's smile to go straight into his chest, warming him up. He didn't _want_ a quick brush of Dean's lips to cause his heart to almost burst.

No, he didn't _want_ any of that, but that didn't change the fact that he _felt_ it.

And Cas knew, the kiss had made him painfully aware of it, that if it had only been the job as a lyricist, he would have been able to treat Dean entirely professionally. He could lock it all away, if it was just that. But with the other part of their agreement, this became way harder to do.

Now Cas was there in the bathroom, quietly asking himself if he could continue this. Or if maybe it would be better to stop it before they'd go public.

Maybe, if he told Dean right now that he couldn't do it, maybe they wouldn't be too disappointed in him. Maybe, if he'd stop this right now, there wouldn't be too much damage done.

But the thing was, Cas didn't _want_ to stop. He had gotten into the lyrics bit by now, he had found his pace and his way of work, and it was fun, he liked what he was doing. And he liked Dean, and Charlie and Jo, and Garth, and even Ed and Harry that he had barely ever seen so far.

And maybe, Cas now thought, maybe it would get better. Easier. It had been a bad idea to agree to this in the first place, but now he was here, and he definitely wouldn't chicken out just because Dean was so unreasonably nice and even more unreasonably attractive. Maybe kissing him would get easier, maybe it would become routine, just like holding his hand had become routine ...

Someone carefully pushed the bathroom door open. Cas didn't turn to look at it, but he heard steps, and he just knew it was Dean.

"Cas?" He now heard Dean ask carefully, and finally Cas let his hands sink and turned to Dean, slowly, with a sigh.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," Cas breathed alongside a slight nod.

"Okay," Dean said quietly. "I was just ... To be honest, I was a bit worried, because you just left and I didn't know what's wrong and ..."

"I'm sorry I just left," Cas said. "I just needed a moment alone. I, uhm ... I was just overwhelmed. It's good. All good."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Cas nodded.

Dean empathetically looked at him.

"Do you wanna talk about what's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong," Cas said. He wasn't sure if Dean was convinced by that lie. Given the situation of him obviously freaking out in the bathroom right now, probably not. "I was just overwhelmed. No big deal. But thank you for worrying"

Dean quietly eyed Cas for a second before he spoke again. There was some concern in his expression, Cas was rather sure about that, but Dean didn't push any further.

"So if I kiss you tomorrow, you won't storm out on me?" He asked calmly.

"I won't," Cas replied with an honest look into his eyes. "Promise"

"Okay," Dean said. "I can count on you?"

Cas brought himself to give Dean a little smile.

"You can count on me"  
  


*  
  


And Cas kept his promise. He was nervous about the situation, a lot, actually. That night, he lay awake for quite a while, thinking. He didn't even get anywhere with it, it was nothing but the same thought he had already gone through in the bathroom right after the kiss, the same doubts and concerns, over and over again, running through his head in a seemingly endless cycle.

That night was one of the rare occasions where he actually was somewhat glad about Claire waking up from a nightmare, because her sudden crying at least gave him a reason to focus on something else than his thoughts. He happily allowed her to come and sleep in his bed that night, and with his daughter's little body right next to him, breathing rhythmically, her little arms grabbing into the blanket and her hair tickling his nose, he finally managed to ban the sorrow from his mind for long enough to fall asleep.

He was nervous again the next morning when he woke up with Claire snuggled up against his chest, and he was even more nervous when he said goodbye to her at Missouri's doorstep. Apparently he was nervous enough for Missouri to notice, because she asked if he was alright.

"Yeah," he calmed her, "Big day at work. I'm just nervous"

The elder lady seemed satisfied with that answer and wished him all the luck.

With every hour passing at work that morning, Cas became gradually more nervous. He started nervously tapping his pen onto the desk as he was working through some lyrics, and Charlie tolerated it for a surprisingly long time before she snapped.

"I get that you're nervous, but can you _please_ stop?!" She groaned at some point.

A sighed "sorry" was Cas's only response.

"Hey," Charlie said with a supportive smile, "You're gonna rock this, I'm sure. You and Dean have been putting on an award worthy performance every day so far, you can absolutely convince people you're on a coffee date"

"Yeah," Cas sighed. "Guess you're right. I just ... doesn't matter. I'm overthinking"

"Understandably," Charlie said. "I totally get that you're nervous. Heck, I'm nervous and I'm not even physically involved. That's totally valid, Cas. But I know you got it. Just relax and don't pressure yourself that much"

The first time Cas saw Dean that day was during lunchbreak, where they followed their usual routine including some subtle touching and hand holding. Both Jo and Charlie commented on it, and both women agreed that this was perfect as it was and they should just stick to it in the afternoon.

Then, a few hours later, Dean finally entered the office and asked Cas to get ready, and another couple of minutes later, the two men stood in the corridor together, getting one final briefing from Charlie.

"... anyway, two people for sure know you'll be there, and I know one of them is very serious about anonymous tips concerning you. So there really should be someone having an eye out for you. You just get an outside table where you can be seen, and get to your acting. If anything goes wrong, call me, and-"

"Charls," Dean interrupted her, "I got it. It's just sitting down and having coffee"

Charlie agreed with a sigh, and Dean led Cas outside, where a taxi was waiting. There had been a short discussion earlier because Dean had wanted to drive, but Charlie told him not to and had finally convinced him to take a taxi.

Dean had his arm around Cas's waist already when they left the building, and Cas took the hint to start the acting right away. And of course, he thought, it made sense. If the taxi driver recognized Dean, it would be weird to not act like a couple at all inside the taxi.

Shortly after, they were in the backseat. They had started with holding hands on the middle seat, but Cas had soon freed his hand, causing Dean to rest his hand on Cas's knee instead.

Cas spent some time looking out the window in silence, his eyes following the buildings they were passing.

"Do we need to talk?" Dean suddenly asked quietly, and Cas turned his face to look at him.

"About what?"

"You know that," Dean said.

Cas let out a quiet sigh.

"I told you," he then said quietly, "It's all good. I just needed a moment, that's all"

"Yeah," Dean sighed. "Cas, when I say you can talk to me, I mean it. Really. If you don't want to, okay fine, I can't make you. But please don't feel like you have to pretend anything for me. If I do anything that's too much for you, you can tell me."

"I appreciate that," Cas said, looking straight into Dean's eyes. "But you really don't need to worry"

"Okay," Dean finally accepted that he wouldn't get anything out of Cas.

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence, some time holding hands again or sprinkling in other small touches, until the car finally stopped on a side street in a part of town that had various cafés and bars and was rather popular with the upper class. In other words, Cas had barely ever been there.

After Dean had paid and thanked the driver in his most charming manner, he pulled Cas close at his waist again and they started walking down the street towards the main street’s pedestrian zone.

Shortly before taking the turn into the street, they switched back to holding hands, and Dean shot Cas a supportive smile.

"All good?" He asked.

"Yeah," Cas smiled back at him and gripped his hand just a bit tighter, "All good"

Another smile, then they stepped forward and now entered a rather busy pedestrian zone. Sure, it was yet another sunny day this spring, temperatures started rising, and accordingly many people were out and about in this nice part of town today.

Dean led the way, Cas close by his hand as they passed other couples, people with strollers, families, also people who were alone and rushing through, or elderly couples taking slowly paced walks.

There were some people recognizing Dean, Cas noticed, but none showed an obvious reaction that would have attracted others. Maybe some people shot snaps with their smartphones, Cas really couldn't tell, but he was quite sure he saw a group of teenagers whispering with glances into their direction, and one woman walking in their opposite direction abruptly stopped and stared for a moment as they passed her. 

"I think that one just recognised you," he leaned in and whispered to Dean.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "pretty sure she did"

Shortly after, they reached the café. Dean asked the waitress that was just walking by them for an outside table, and they were assigned one off to the side, right next to the flower boxes that were functioning as a little fence separating the outside area from the street. Dean guided Cas on how to sit down, and they took their seats with their backs to the café's windows, facing the open with a good view over the people passing by - and at the same time, giving people a good view on them.

They were sitting closely next to each other, their shoulders almost touching, and when Dean pulled up his leg to place it over his other knee to sit in a more relaxed way, their legs touched.

It took only a moment until the waitress who had assigned them the table was back, and they ordered a coffee each. When she had confirmed their order with a smile and left, Cas leaned into Dean and whispered to him again.

"Have you seen any paparazzi yet?"

"Mh," Dean made and softly put his hand over Cas's on the arm rest, "I'm not sure, but I think I did, yeah"

"Shouldn't they be visible?" Cas asked. "Like with a big camera being all fussy in the front or something?"

"Sometimes, yeah," Dean explained quietly, "but if they don't want me to notice them, they can be way sneakier about it. And it's really busy here, you never know where a camera is hiding"

"I see," Cas said and leaned back again, Dean's hand still on his, his thumb now drawing soft circles on Cas's skin. Cas reacted to it with a little smile that Dean returned right away.

The waitress soon appeared again with two cups of coffee, and both men thanked her with smiles.

"Do you think she recognises you?" Cas asked.

"I don't know," Dean chuckled, "she either doesn't or she's good at hiding it. Maybe she's like you and has no idea"

The memory made Cas chuckle.

"And look at me now," he said.

"Yeah," Dean smiled at him. "I'm glad you're here, though"

Cas replied with a soft smile at Dean, and just a second later, he felt Dean's hand on his cheek, his thumb softly stroking his skin before it laid still and held his face in place as Dean leaned in.

Dean didn't ask if it was okay, but he looked directly into Cas's eyes just the moment before he brought his face closer, a slightly concerned expression in his gaze. Cas gave him a smile to show him that it was okay, and Dean closed the distance and softly kissed him.

It was pretty much the same as the day before, and Cas felt pretty similar to how he did during their first kiss. He could feel his heart skipping a beat and then suddenly racing, and again he wished Dean would just stay with him like that forever.

What was different from the first time, though, was that this time, Cas didn't panic. The voice was there somewhere inside his head, screaming again, and for a tiny little moment, Cas was close to actually paying attention to it. But then he forced his focus back on Dean, locking the voice and all its concerns away as he pulled Dean closer and kissed him back.

Just a second later, Dean slowly pulled back and smiled at Cas while giving his cheek another stroke before he returned to his sitting position, now reaching for his coffee.

Cas imitated what Dean was doing and reached for his coffee as well, his mind still slightly fogged, the kiss still on his lips, his heart still racing.

"You good?" Dean now asked quietly.

"Yeah," Cas smiled at him. "I told you. No worries"

"Yeah," Dean said and now smiled as well, "but honestly, you weren't really convincing when you said that"

"Mh," Cas made and took a sip from his coffee. "Maybe it wasn't all fine yesterday. But by now, it is, really."

"You really just needed a moment, then?"

"Yeah," Cas smiled, "As I said. I really just needed a moment"

Dean smiled right back at him. "I'm glad to hear that"

Cas quietly smiled back at him for a moment, then turned his face to look around them. Dean reached for his hand again, and he let him.

His eyes stopped at two girls that were sitting at the table right next to them. Both were maybe 16 years old and had bags below their chairs, they probably had come here on their way back home from school. The two girls were enjoying a sundae each, but the interesting thing to Cas was that they had their heads sticked together and were excitedly whispering with the occasional glance to their side, where Dean and Cas were sitting.

Cas leaned in again, this time placed his hand on Dean's chest as he whispered into his ear.

"Pretty sure those two know who you are"

Dean chuckled as he followed Cas's eyeline to the two girls that were still whispering and trying to steal inconspicuous looks.

"Yeah," he chuckled. Then, he leaned in and whispered back into Cas's ear. "What do you think, will they say anything? Any bets?"

"I think it'd be quite unfair to make me bet on that, since unlike me, you're used to the situation," Cas said. "But I'd love to hear your prediction"

Dean let out another quiet chuckle, and Cas smiled as he was feeling the vibration of his chest through his hand.

"I think," Dean started with a whisper, "they're debating if they should say something, and they don't know if they should right now. If they're brave, they'll just turn around at some point. If not, they're probably gonna try awkwardly to take a picture without me noticing."

"You're not sure which one?" Cas smirked.

"No," Dean chuckled. "It may surprise you, but there's things I simply don't know. Maybe they're gonna be nervous enough to make it entertaining for _me_ to talk to _them_ , who knows"

"You do that?" Cas asked quietly. "Just go and start talking to people?"

"Sometimes," Dean smiled. "Sometimes I notice people want to say something but they're really nervous or shy about it, so when I'm in the mood, I just ask them if they want a selfie or something"

"That's quite nice, actually," Cas said.

"What?" Dean chuckled, "You thought I weren't?"

"No, I ..." Cas now chuckled as well, "It's just, I've never seen real, like, fan interaction from you. I just didn't know what you're like with your fans"

"Oh believe me," Dean smirked, "You'll get plenty of chances to observe that"

"Yeah," Cas agreed with another smile.

Then they fell silent for a moment. Cas was trying to make out pieces of the girls' conversation while holding Dean's hand on the arm rest again, whereas Dean was calmly sipping on his coffee.

After lots more of nervous whispering from the next table, there was a phrase that both men could hear clearly, hissed by the girl on the right.

"... how would you feel if you're on a date and people start bothering you?!"

Dean and Cas exchanged a knowing smile at that, right as the other girl hissed back: "Well I don't know because I'm not a star, people don't give a shit about me!"

"Yeah but that's the point!" The girl on the right argued. "You got privacy. And I'm just guessing judged by the kissing that they want some as well"

Dean chuckled, his eyes still on Cas.

"What a life that would be if I'd ever get some privacy," he said in the volume of a normal conversation, and all of a sudden, both girl fell silent and stared at each other with widened eyes. Then, both of them slowly turned.

Dean winked at Cas with a cheeky smirk before he turned to face the girls as well. Cas’s eyes followed him.

"Hey," Dean smiled at the two girls that were now staring again, both obviously pretty impressed by ending up in this situation.

"Hi," they both managed to reply.

"I'm really sorry," the girl on the right now stuttered, "we, uhm ... we didn't mean to bother you. We just ..."

"It's fine, really," Dean smiled. "Just don't, you know, don't cause attention. We don't want people grouping around us"

"Yeah, sure," the girl on the right stuttered.

"Great," Dean smiled. "What's your name?"

"Lori," she said, and with Dean's eyes on her, her friend replied as well. "Macie"

"Nice to meet you," he smiled. "You want me to sign something or stuff?"

"Uhm ..." both girls seemed really perplexed by that question, and both Dean and Cas watched how they exchanged an insecure look.

"We don't really got anything ..." the girl on the right then replied nervously, "but we, uhm ... could we take a selfie with you? If that's okay?"

"Sure," Dean said with a charming smile. Cas gave him a meaningful look, and he added: "But do me a favour and make sure he's not in it, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah sure," the girl said as she hastily searched for her phone. Now she had found it, her friend leaned in and she shifted the angle slightly to move Cas out of the frame, then she snapped two quick selfies of the two of them with Dean in between, looking as good as always.

The two girls stared at the screen for a moment, not quite believing this just happened.

"Can I just have a quick look?" Dean asked, and the girl immediately showed him the screen.

Cas leaned in as well to see that he wasn't in it, and he showed the two girls a quick smile as Dean said "thank you"

"Thank _you_ ," the girl said. "That's really ... it's really nice of you."

"Yeah," her friend agreed. "We're big fans, but we'd never even have dared to dream about meeting you one day. Thank you so much!"

"Anyway," the girl on the right added, "we're just, uhm ... not gonna bother you anymore. Sorry about that. But thank you so so much!"

"You're welcome," Dean said with a nice smile. "Enjoy your ice cream"

"T...thank you," both the girls stuttered, and after another impressed smile at Dean, they turned back around. They could hear them simultaneously go "oh my _god_!" as they looked at each other again, then they were all over the phone, pointing out things and zooming in and out on the selfies.

"See," Dean smirked at Cas, "I told you I'm nice to fans"

"Yeah," Cas chuckled, "There also seems to be something about you and ice cream"

"I mean, I do like ice cream," Dean shrugged, "it works kind of like a magnet for me. At least it's not _on me_ this time"

"I'll never hear the end of that," Cas said, "will I?"

"You'll never hear the end of that," Dean chuckled.

They spent a while longer at the café, chatting about more casual things while holding hands, sipping their coffee and Dean occasionally making more intimate gestures towards Cas like cradling his face.

After a while, Dean asked Cas if they should end this now, and with a glance at his watch, Cas immediately agreed. Missouri knew he had variable work hours, but he still tried to keep up a somewhat regular schedule for Claire, and even though it was later than usual already, he'd still be able to pick her up at an okay time if they'd left now.

So Dean paid and left a generable tip for their nice waitress, and they left. Dean stood at first and waited a second for Cas to get up, then as he stood in front of him he immediately pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. Then, he took his hand with a smile and they left.

Walking by the two girls that were still finishing their ice cream at their table, Dean shot them a little smile as well, and they tried their best to stay calm while smiling back, but as soon as they were a couple steps over, Cas could hear them go "oh my GOD" in unison once more.

"I think you really made their day," Cas whispered into Dean's ear as they were walking back through the pedestrian area.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. "Did my thing, made some teens happy, overall a good day I'd say"

They took another taxi back to the studio, and after Cas briefly mentioned being able to fetch the next bus home, Dean insisted he'd stay in the taxi for another stop.

"Consider it a thank you for today," he said as he told the driver to drive Cas home and paid for it in advance.

Before he left the car, Dean pressed another quick kiss on Cas's cheek and said "see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," Cas smiled at him. Then, Dean was gone, and Cas leaned back in his seat, watching the buildings going by the window.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this a quick trigger warning for homophobic language in this chapter. well, one word. but it's not censored, so please be aware of that. Also, your identity and sexuality are valid, no matter what any haters might say. You're valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)

When Cas entered the studio building the following morning - later than usual, because Claire had just not felt like getting up without making a big scene about it - he ran into Dean right in the hallway.

"Cas!" Dean greeted him with a big grin. "I'm wishing you the happiest of mornings!"

"Okay?" Cas chuckled and closed the door behind him, "Good morning to you too? Did I miss something amazing happening?"

"You," Dean grinned and made a step towards Cas, tapping his finger onto his chest, " _you_ are the amazing thing. Oh I could kiss you!"

"Been there, done that," Cas said. "But I don't really ... What did I do?"

"You did an amazing job yesterday," Dean grinned. "Really, truly amazing. God! I can't talk right now, Ed and Harry are waiting for me, but Cas you did great. Charlie can tell you!"

"Alright...?" Cas said in irritation as Dean already ran up the stairs with visible euphoria.

"Oh!" Dean now made and turned around on the spot, looking down at Cas from the stairs. "Wanna know what I did?"

"Is that something you're proud of or something scandalous?" Cas chuckled.

"Something nice," Dean smiled. "Remember those two girls from yesterday?"

"Yeah, of course"

"One of them posted that selfie to her twitter," Dean said. "She was hella excited, anyway she tagged me in the photo, and I liked her tweet"

Cas now smiled back up at Dean.

"That _is_ nice," he said. "So, you made her day _again_ , huh?"

"Yeah," Dean smirked. "Lucky her. I gotta go, though. See you later!"

And Dean disappeared through the upstairs door.

"Yeah," Cas said to himself and walked further down the hallway while chucklingly shaking his head.

He entered the office, and greeted Charlie and Garth with a happy "morning!" which both of them returned.

"So," Cas started as he put his bag down and took off his jacket, "I just ran into Dean acting like he's high off his ass, what's gotten into him?"

"It's the high on success," Charlie smirked over to him. "Yesterday's little scene did come out a lot bigger than intended. Dean's name was trending on twitter for hours last night. He was on #1 of the US trends for quite a while"

"Oh," Cas made. "And that's, uhm ... That's a good thing? We're happy about that?"

"Yeah," Charlie chuckled, "We're very happy about that. Lots of people engaged with the topic last night, and that's of course amazing, Dean's follower count made a jump, and the overall reaction is positive and judgmental of the previous rumours. People are hella curious about who you are, of course, but there's also a lot of support going on for the LGBTQ+ community, _and_ people are talking about bi erasure."

"So we hit more than one nerve?" Cas asked.

"Absolutely," she confirmed. "We also got a number of online articles and two in print so far, even one title page. I'm expecting a couple more in print tomorrow and with the weekly editions. So, turns out, getting you on board was probably one of the best decisions we've ever made in here"

Cas nodded quietly. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. He had expected some attention, some press coverage, but what he hadn't expected was being the reason for a number 1 twitter trend. He had fought the urge to check social media for Dean's name last night, even though he had been curious. He had been just as nervous as curious, though, so he had decided to let Dean fill him in on how well it had worked. And turned out, it had worked _incredibly_ well.

"Are people talking about me?" He then asked, slightly insecure.

"Kinda, yeah," she said. "Mostly it's the more invested fans, they're really eager to figure out who you are. They made the connection to your first photo really quickly, and now they're on their theories. But that's all they got, really. Just theories. No names, nothing."

"Okay," Cas nodded. Then: "What about Claire? Are they ... I mean she's in that first photo."

"Well," Charlie said, "they of course discuss that there's a child in the photo, and they're assuming she's got something to do with that mysterious probably boyfriend guy. So yeah, they're talking who's the kid, but the main focus really is on Dean and you."

Cas only nodded.

"We promised she'll be fine," Charlie said softly, "and we meant that. Nobody's gonna drag her into this. I'll make sure of that."

Charlie's promise made Cas feel calmer about everything, and he sat down at his desk and opened up the laptop to check some reactions first hand.

The photos were very easy to find. A quick Google search of Dean's name set to news, and he had them right there.

It was two pictures. One of him and Dean kissing, the quality wasn't the clearest, it looked like it was zoomed in from rather far away. Dean was rather obvious to recognize, but there wasn't as much of Cas's face visible with Dean's hand on his cheek hiding a part of his face and the angle of the picture being taken from the side.

Looking at that picture immediately gave Cas a piece of that warm feeling back, and he took a moment to look at it with a smile before scrolling to the second one.

The second one showed both their faces. The quality was just as questionable as the first one's, but Dean was again unmistakably recognizable and Cas, even without knowing him, undoubtedly was the same man as in the photo from a week earlier. In this picture, he saw himself looking over to Dean with a smile, while Dean himself was laughing, his hand on Cas's on the arm rest.

Cas scrolled through the article. It didn't exactly reveal any news, except for the obvious _Dean Winchester has been seen with an unknown man._ It gave an overview over the rumours surrounding Dean and then just went into speculation about who that man could possibly be, since it obviously wasn't another celebrity or anyone Dean had ever openly worked or been involved with in any way.

Cas then moved over to twitter where he took a dive into Dean's tag. It was quite busy, with a lot of people sending out contentless tweets at the same time, and Cas only scrolled through it, reading every other one.

_maybe y'all should've fucking believed **Dean Winchester** when he literally told us he's bi_

_brb gotta pre-order **Dean Winchester** 's new album rn_

_y'all biphobic assholes better go and apologise to **Dean Winchester** right now for all the shit you were talking_

_never heard a single one of **Dean Winchester** 's songs but anyway I stan_

_so when **Dean Winchester** makes a statement and reveals he's been dating a man for the past 3 years, then what?_

_In case it wasn't clear for some of you from certain of his songs **, Dean Winchester** 's actually very bisexual_

_hey " **Dean Winchester** is straight" truthers how y'all feeling?_

**_Dean Winchester_ ** _came out apparently?? No idea what's going on and why everyone's screaming but congrats man_

**_Dean Winchester_ ** _'s been out for ages, the real question here is WHO IS THE OTHER GUY_

**_Dean Winchester_** _🌈👏🏼_

**_Dean Winchester_ ** _kissing a guy wasn't the good news I expected to receive today but I'll take it_

_can we talk about how that's the same guy that was seen with **Dean Winchester** last week already?? They TOGETHER together??_

_just so we're clear about that **Dean Winchester** was just as bi as he is now when he was kissing a woman. The excitement is amazing but y'all shouldn't have invalidated him in the first place_

Cas stopped and re-read that last tweet once more. Sure, Dean had told him about the problem and the rumours, but he had never really stopped and thought about how that must have felt for Dean as a person.

Coming out took some courage, Cas knew that. Of course Cas knew that, he had been through it. And as scary and nerve-wracking his own experience might have been, he couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for Dean, working up the courage to be open about your sexuality to millions of people worldwide, and then watching people you don't know, people you have never met once in your life, calling you a liar and an attention whore, complete strangers acting like they knew your sexuality better than you ...

Cas shook his head and absentmindedly closed the browser.

Maybe he could ask him about it. Or would that be too much? Cas wasn't exactly sure of what his actual relationship with Dean even was. He pretended to be incredibly close to him, and to some extent, that carried over into their real interaction. Also, Dean had shown that he cared about Cas as a person, not only as the one doing this job. But could he bring this up, or would that cross a line?

Maybe, Cas thought, maybe he could just mention that he saw people pointing this out, and leave it to Dean to carry on the conversation.

Yeah, he decided, that seemed good. Give Dean the option to brush it off, or to get into it if he was comfortable with doing it. Yeah, Cas decided. He'd do that at a suitable occasion.

With his thoughts still drifting off now and then, Cas now finally got into his actual work. He was almost finished with the lyrics he was currently working on. His first draft of reviewing Dean's text had been finished rather quickly, and from then on he had changed details here and there and adjusted some rhymes. He even had started thinking about the texts at random times and then hustling to scribble an idea down. That was, according to Garth, a good development - or at least something he did as well, and that was good enough to make Cas feel like he was doing a decent job.

The following couple days were quite calm for Cas, at least work-wise. With their very first publicity attempt having been that successful, they agreed to give it some time to calm down again before they'd take further steps. Having the situation calm down included Dean not mentioning it with a word anywhere on his social media or elsewhere. Dean generally wasn't very active on his social media sites and his fans knew that, so him staying quiet about the rumours probably wasn't a big surprise, and his last liked tweet stayed the selfie that one girl had tagged him in - at least for now.

Cas got the chance to focus on the more professional part of his new job, and he really felt like it was the right thing for him. He eventually finished the lyrics he had been working on and nervously handed his final draft to Garth to ask for his opinion, and after a concentrated read through, his colleague told him with a smile that he thought it was good and he should show it to Dean like that.

On the one hand, that made Cas incredibly proud of his work, but on the other hand he also got significantly more nervous. What if Dean didn't think it was good? And what would be even worse, what if Garth didn't _actually_ think it was good and let him show it to Dean knowing fully well he wouldn't like it?

But Cas's anxiety turned out to be entirely groundless, because when he presented his work to Dean when he sat together in the meeting room with him and Garth later that week, Dean looked up from reading it and told him with a smile that it was good.

Cas didn't buy that and in his immediate response he asked "really?", to which Dean confirmed with a chuckle that yes, he really thought that, he liked the things that Cas had changed and there were some parts that did sound a lot better now than when he had initially thought about.

Dean also said that Cas should come to the studio to check if the lyrics still worked with the music like that. That was scheduled for the next week, though, as they were approaching the weekend already and Dean would be busy with the band on Saturday as they were aiming to record the final versions of two songs that already were close to finished.

In his private life, the same couple days didn't go by just as quiet. With his face being all over the internet and on the front pages on various gossip magazines, he developed a fear of being recognized. He knew it was irrational to a certain extent, because for real, how many people would see him walking by and remember that anonymous man Dean Winchester has been seen with, but Cas still felt like people were watching him.

He felt like everyone's eyes were on him when he got on the bus, even though it was routine, and most of those people were there every morning when he took the bus to go to work. He felt like people were watching him when he was walking down the street, even when he was picking Claire up from Missouri's house.

Missouri, miraculously, hadn't heard about the fuss about Dean at all. Just like Cas, she didn't care a lot about gossip about the rich and the famous, and she didn't bother checking any news on that topic. Cas was rather sure she wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to do with the name Dean Winchester, and at the moment, he was more than happy about that, because he really didn't need her - or anyone, for that matter - asking questions.

A valid concern that Cas had was the chance of people who knew him recognizing him in those photos. Not even people he was close to and would have a hard time lying to, that wasn't too much of a problem. There were no parents to explain the situation to - well there probably was a father, somewhere out there, but that wasn't a problem because that man, whoever it might be, definitely had no idea of what his son looked like, or what his name was - and no siblings either. Generally, Cas didn't have any family that could become an obstacle in this.

No, what he was concerned about was people like neighbours, former colleagues, maybe parents from the playground. Some of his former students, that actually was a pretty big concern. Hell, he even was concerned about the employees of the supermarket he regularly went to, and even about the mail person he had spoken to a couple times.

Yes, he was concerned about all those people that knew his face and could possibly recognize him, but to his great relieve, nobody pointed it out to him, nobody asked him about it.

He of course felt like they knew. He felt like someone just had to know. And maybe, people did. Maybe some of the parents really did eye him for a little too long when he took Claire to the playground on Saturday, and maybe the cashier gave him sort of a weird glance when he was paying for his groceries later that day, but nobody said anything.

Spending time alone with Claire at home was a welcoming relaxation for Cas. His daughter may have had entered a difficult phase and be really exhausting to look after, but at least she didn't give him that look, at least she didn't know about the headlines and title pages and online speculation. At least she didn't care about anything other than her father being there, playing with her.

On Saturday, when Cas was grocery shopping with Claire sitting in the cart, there actually was a close call to her asking uncomfortable questions. As he was pushing the cart down the aisle, they passed the display of the latest magazines, and taking a glance to the left, Cas suddenly stared right at his own face, kissing Dean. He immediately pushed the cart further down the aisle, walking as far away from the magazines as possible, just thanking god or whoever would hear it for Claire not having looked up and being busy playing around with a bundle of bananas.

Claire didn't see that picture and didn't get to ask questions Cas wouldn't have known how to answer, but the weird feeling of people recognizing him stayed.

Saturday night, Jo came by again. It was the first time Cas saw her after their last talk about Dean, and before she arrived, he wasn't sure if he should be nervous or happy about seeing her.

The question answered itself when she let herself in and entered the living room as Cas was just watching Claire playing around with some toy blocks. He had been in thoughts while watching his daughter building shaky towers, still thinking - and mostly worrying - about who might have already recognised him, and when he saw Jo's familiar face framed by her red hair appear through the doorway, he immediately knew he was more than happy to see her, and he was more than happy that he had made the decision to tell her beforehand.

"Hey," Jo greeted him, and without a word, Cas got up and pulled his best friend into a tight hug. Slightly perplexed but very gentle, she put her arms around him as well and held him.

"What's wrong?" She whispered as she was holding him.

"Later," Cas breathed. After a moment, he let go of her and took a step back. "Thanks. I needed that"

"Sure," Jo said with a confused look at him. She was about to ask something, he could see that, but she didn't get to it with Claire excitedly jumping her.

The three of them cooked together that night - or rather, Claire was very eager to help and both adults had to constantly squirm around her to make sure she didn't get herself hurt. They managed to bring dinner onto the table without any cut off fingers or other injuries though, and Claire was very proud of her work.

Cas drifted off into his thoughts again various times throughout dinner, and he repeatedly zoned out from the conversation that Jo and Claire were having about the highlights of their cooking process and Claire's enthusiasm for cutting vegetables.

He didn't even realize he had finished his plate already, and when Claire asked if she could watch TV, that abruptly ripped him back into the present world.

"Yeah," he answered hastily, "yeah sure. Have fun, love"

As the girl happy hopped out of the room, Jo turned to him and gave him a concerned look.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "You've been zoned out completely all night, what's it?"

"Well," Cas sighed, "it's just ... I'm not handling everything as well as I thought I would, and it's fucking with my head"

"Handling what?" Jo asked, "the new job?"

"Yeah," Cas sighed. "Well, not exactly. I like the job, I really do. But the ... you know, the pretend boyfriend thing. It was weird enough already without my photo being on title pages of the all the tabloids, and now I just feel like everybody's staring at me all the time. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but it's driving me crazy"

"Mh," Jo made thoughtfully. "You know, I think you're making it way worse in your head than it actually is"

"So you don't think people recognize me?"

"No, actually," she said, "I mean I did immediately recognise you when I saw the photos, but that's probably because I knew something like that was coming. I know people who know you as well and who have seen the photos, and I haven't heard any of them mention you with a word. Maybe they have a little thought like _oh hey, that guy looks somewhat familiar,_ but I think they just don't make the connection that it could be you. Why should it be you, from an outside perspective, why should it be? It's just someone who's got some resemblance."

"Mh," Cas hummed and thought about her words with no further comment.

"But Cas," Jo now added, "let's be real here for a second. All that shouldn't surprise you. You knew what you were getting yourself into. I mean that's what you signed your contracts for. That's what they're paying you for."

"Yeah, no, I know," Cas shrugged. "They told me beforehand. But I think I just didn't ... I couldn't imagine what it would really be like, you know? Like, I knew what was coming, but I didn't know what it would feel like. Does that make sense?"

"Kinda, yeah," she said. "But I think ... Well, look at the reaction you're getting. It's all positive. People are so excited about the news, and of course they're curious about who you are, but not in a bad way. Dean is incredibly popular right now, and so are you. Even though they don't even know your name. It's not, like, a bad kind of fame"

"Isn't it?" Cas said seriously. "Or am I just _a fag that bends over for a rich guy?"_ he recited a comment he had seen about himself on another dive into Twitter.

"There's always haters," Jo said calmly, "but they're always there, even if you're just an average person minding your own business. And that's just boring old homophobia. Nothing new, and certainly not suddenly caused by you kissing Dean"

"Of course it's always been there," Cas said, "but it's ... I just didn't need international homophobes gossiping about me online. Had enough of that in real life, from actual people that weren't hiding behind an anime character as their profile picture"

"They're idiots, Cas," she said. "They're nothing but stupid hateful losers. You're way better than that, and especially now, you're in a position to just not give a fuck about them."

"Yeah," Cas breathed with a look into his friend's eyes. "And it's so easy for you to say that, when you've never been fired for just being who you are"

Jo didn't answer. All she did was staring right back at him, keeping the eye contact, her eyes showing that she was thinking.

"Sorry," Cas said after a moment and glanced down. "God. Sorry. It's not your fault, I shouldn't ..."

"No," Jo said quietly, "you're right. I've never been through that. I can't tell you what is okay to feel and what isn't. I just ... what I wanted to say is, without invalidating anything you feel, that you've definitely got the moral high, and you're successful, Cas, you're there with _Dean Winchester_ , you're literally working on his upcoming album with him, you're working on something that millions of people world-wide enjoy and that means a lot to many of them, whereas those people insulting you are nothing but some cowards looking for an anonymous outlet for their hate online because they don't even have the balls to say it in real life. It's okay to be upset, I get that. But I just need you to know that you're so much better than them"

Cas nodded at that, looking up into her eyes again.

"But I only got the job to fake shit with him," he then argued quietly. "I'm not really-"

"Cas," Jo interrupted him with a calm voice. "Are you writing lyrics for Dean Winchester's songs, or not?"

"I am," Cas breathed.

"There you go. You're amazing, Cas, really. And it wouldn't hurt you to acknowledge that a bit more. Also, maybe you're playing pretend with him, so what? You're literally getting paid to let _the_ Dean Winchester kiss you, you're living many people's dream"

That brought a little smile onto Cas's face.

"Yeah," he said.

"Yeah," Jo smirked. "Glad we've cleared that. So, I didn't sign that confidentiality agreement to provide emotional support without getting some tea. Shoot."

Cas now even chuckled. "What about?" He asked.

"Oh come on," Jo laughed, "You've kissed Dean Winchester. What was it like? What was _he_ like? Is he as good of a kisser as he looks like?"

"Uhm ..."

"Details," Jo smirked, and Cas chuckled before he went into telling her about his experiences with Dean and his kisses, deliberately leaving out the part about his heart racing dangerously fast whenever Dean's lips brushed against his.


	8. Chapter 8

The next week was focused on solely work on the album as they had to meet deadlines, and even though it seemed to Cas as if there was a lot of time left until the release date, he was told that they were in fact running on a tight schedule, and with the others being the experts, he believed them.

Dean called Cas up to the studio right on Monday, and Cas got to hear Dean sing in person for the very first time as he tested out the lyrics Cas had worked on with his guitar. For the first couple lines, Cas had no idea if it worked or not, he was too caught up by Dean's voice. Then he forced himself to pay attention, and actively listened, looking for rough parts or some that were off.

Together, the two of them made some minor changes, like changing a preposition here and exchanging a word for one with a syllable more there, and at the fourth run, both were happy with the outcome.

Dean performed the song one more time, this time he was visibly having fun doing it, and turned to Cas with a happy grin after he had finished. With an energetic high five he told Cas that he had done great work on this.

Cas was called into three other meetings that week where him, Garth and Dean discussed some more lyrics, and he also was allowed in the studio to watch Dean practice three more songs - including the one Cas that Cas had worked on - together with Ed and Harry. 

The week after that one was pretty much the exact same. There were more lyric meetings, more practice sessions, and even though Cas saw Dean a lot those days, he never actually found himself alone with him.

The public's interest and curiosity had declined by now, and even though the fans were still sharing their ideas and speculations online, Cas had become a lot more relaxed again. Nobody had noticed him so far, and he didn't feel like all eyes were on him anymore.

Cas was almost at a point where he forgot about the other part of his job when Dean called him to fake-boyfriend duty again.

They had an entire day scheduled with a professional photographer to shoot the album cover and some promotional pictures, and Dean wanted him to come. Cas didn't understand why exactly, since they would be inside a studio and there wouldn't be any people they weren't working with, but he decided to just go with it - as if he would've had any other option.

This time, they didn't take a taxi. Charlie was driving, as she had to come anyway for her organisation and coordination of the photos, while Cas was in the back seat, Dean right next to him explaining the plan for the day.

"... so we're shooting the album cover," Dean just said, "meaning lots of people around, big lights, cameras, it's gonna be busy"

"Yeah," Cas understood. "What's my part, though? I don't really get why I'm there?"

"Well on the one hand, I don't like to be alone at shootings," Dean chuckled. "You're keeping me company while Charlie does her managing. But more importantly, there's gonna be people seeing you, and probably recognising you. It's not a big thing and nothing public of course, but maybe we'll get some gossip. Also, we've worked with that photographer before, and I know he's gonna ask if he can share some snaps on his Instagram story. Maybe you'll be visibly just off in the corner or something, who knows. Fuelling the speculation a bit"

"I see," Cas said with a nod, "so we're not doing the full pretend couple thing. I'm just there staying close to you and maybe we're doing some hand holding during a break"

"Exactly that," Dean smiled. "You're really just there to be seen around me. We're keeping it very professional, because if this wasn't pretend, I wouldn't bring anyone to work and get all touchy either. It's like, you're watching, but we're taking the work serious nevertheless."

"It's mostly the hopes on the instagram story," Charlie now joined the conversation. "We know Alec, and he usually shares some behind the scenes snaps of his shootings online, so having him share something were you can be seen for just a second probably will turn some fans into Sherlock Holmes"

They soon arrived at the studio, and while Charlie immediately disappeared to discuss something with an athletic man, Cas stuck to the plan and followed Dean around.

He got to watch a young woman - she introduced herself as Lauren - doing Dean's make-up to make him look the best way possible with the lights, as Dean quickly explained to him. Then Dean was placed in front of a green screen, and Cas moved to the area behind the camera where Charlie was standing as well.

He watched people changing the positions of the lights, others giving Dean instructions on how to change his position - slightly to the left, no not the whole body, just move the shoulders, chin up a bit, yes exactly - and the photographer, Alec, Cas assumed, making some comments here and there while checking the setting through the camera’s lense.

Then, they finally started taking photos, and Cas watched how they bathed Dean in bright lights, then another interruption for a new position, flashlights, position changes, and so on.

Cas hadn't thought they'd really use up the entire day for this, but they ended up needing every second. The adjustment of the lights and positions took some time between every couple of shots, and because of some disagreement on which pose looked the best, they did different ones to have the options.

They made multiple pauses of just a couple of minutes, which Dean really seemed to need, and Cas understood that. He wouldn't have wanted to be the one standing there being flashed bright lights at the entire day.

Most of these breaks, Cas spent right next to Dean, quietly talking to him or watching how Lauren quickly adjusted his make-up. During one longer break, they could see Alec swivelling his smartphone through the room, apparently filming some quick clips of the surrounding which Dean acknowledged with a content smirk at Cas.

The day went by incredibly fast, and without Cas even realizing it, it suddenly was late afternoon and he was back in the car with Dean and Charlie.

Dean let his head sink back with a sigh as soon as he hit the seat.

"God," he groaned, "how is that shit so exhausting? Why do you make me do that, Charls?"

Charlie shot an amused glance into the rear-view mirror.

"Because we need an album cover," she replied casually.

"Next time we should do some artwork instead," Dean said. "I think I'll have flashes in my eyes for the rest of the week"

"That's why I'm driving," Charlie chuckled. "Now stop complaining. It's your own damn fault you're that good looking"

Cas couldn't hold back a laugh at that, and Dean showed a smirk as well.

"Sue me," he chuckled.

"Oh I'm sure Sam would take my side in that one," Charlie laughed. "Anyways, you did really good. We got great shots, a lot to work with. You too, Cas. Good work."

"I didn't even do anything," Cas chuckled.

"Oh yes you did," she said. "It's not easy looking like a couple without doing anything obvious, but you really delivered in there. Great chemistry, guys"

"Thanks," both of them said at the same time, resulting in them glancing at each other with a smirk.

After a moment of silence, Dean pulled out his smartphone and started typing on it. "Oh yeah," he said after some quiet typing. "That plan definitely worked."

"Yeah?" Charlie asked, while Cas turned his face to Dean asking "What is it?"

"Alec's instagram story," Dean explained. "He's shared some short clips. Cas and I are visible in the background of two of them."

He shifted his phone and showed the screen to Cas.

"Here," he said. "That's exactly what we had in mind. Amazing!"

Cas watched the short snippet play on the screen. It showed the entire room, lots of people going on about their work. It was really busy, but in the back, just for an instant, you could clearly see Dean, talking to Cas with a smile on his face. In the next snippet, the same thing. They were standing in a different place now, and Cas had his arms crossed in front of his chest, but they were talking again, and Dean had obviously just made Cas laugh.

"Did he tag you?" Charlie asked.

"Uhm," Dean made and turned the phone back to himself, "yeah. _Did an amazing shooting today with @deanwinchester_ ", he read the caption out loud.

"Repost it to your own story," Charlie said, "and tag him back, thanking him. Let's make sure your followers see"

Dean did, and as Cas found out on another social media dive back at home on his laptop later that day, the fans really were having a blast over it.

There was some speculation about what they had done a shooting for, mixed with a lot of discussion about that mysterious man appearing in yet another situation with Dean, and who it possibly might be. Many people had taken screenshots of the instagram stories and zoomed them in on Dean and Cas as closely as possible, and now people were analysing pretty much everything they could about it, trying to find some answers.

It provided for another couple days of people talking about Dean online, and even though this time there were no magazines involved at all, his name made it to the twitter trending page again, this time solely carried by fans' speculation.

Dean offered Cas to come to the studio that Saturday, as they were going to record the song Cas had worked on, and he excitedly agreed to be there and watch. Claire was confused about why he went to work on a Saturday, but after he promised her that he'd make up for it and let her pick a movie that night, she seemed okay with it.

Cas felt an unknown sort of pride as he stood there off to the side and watched Dean in that soundproofed cube, performing the lyrics he had worked on with a visible lot of emotion.

The recording was finished shortly after noon, and while Ed and Harry excused themselves - they had tickets for a baseball game that night and needed to get ready, they said - Dean asked Cas to grab lunch with him.

At first, Cas didn't know how to react, mostly because he wasn't sure what exactly Dean's intentions were. Was this another pretend boyfriend moment?

Dean seemed to notice Cas's confusion, and immediately cleared it up.

"No job, no pretending," he said with a smile. "Just two colleagues getting to know each other better. There's a little diner just around the block, I sometimes grab lunch there and they always make sure to be discreet about me. No cameras, no saying my name, you know?"

With that knowledge, and Dean's hopeful eyes on him, Cas agreed, and only a couple minutes later, they were walking down the street together.

"Did you like what we did with the song?" Dean casually asked as they were walking. He had put sunglasses on again, but these ones had different glasses and Cas was able to at least see the outlines of his eyes. 

"Yeah," he replied, "It sounded very nice. When I first started working with the lyrics, I really didn't know what to imagine it like, but I'm happy with how it turned out"

"I'm glad to hear that," Dean chuckled. "I'm always insecure about how the reception of new songs will be, you know? Makes me kinda nervous, not knowing if people will like what we did"

"Oh I totally get that!" Cas said, "And there's quite a number of people to make their judgements in this case"

"Exactly," Dean said. "There's always different opinions, of course. But I'm really anxious about releasing something and then finding out that the overall impression just isn't good"

He made a short pause, then added something: "Anyways, I said no job talk. Which is hard for me, because it's literally my entire life, but I try."

Cas chuckled at that.

"How's your kid?" Dean then asked, and Cas had the impression he really was interested.

"Good," Cas replied with a smile, "She's good. She's starting to get a bit grumpy currently, especially about me going to work, she doesn't like that so much, but yeah. She's fine"

"Oh I'm sorry I'm causing her an inconvenience," Dean chuckled. "I assume then that she wasn't happy about you leaving today either?"

"She was slightly confused, rather than upset. Because I usually try to spend as much time as possible with her on the weekends, and I couldn't really explain why I had to go today. But a little bribe and the promise of her getting to pick a movie tonight did it"

Dean chuckled again.

"How much does she know about your job?" He then asked.

"Not much," Cas said. "Nothing, basically. Only that you're there as well. That elevated her opinion of it by a lot, by the way. She actually got kinda jealous when she heard that"

"Oh did she?" Dean laughed, "Have you got my youngest fan at home?"

"Well," Cas chuckled, "that's a matter of definition. She has no idea who you are, so she can't exactly be a fan. But on the other hand, you're the funny ice cream man who taught her how to make music, and she indeed seems to be a big fan of you in that context"

"Yeah," Dean said with a smile. "You should bring her again. In a while, when we're finished with all the album stress. She really seemed to have a great time the last time she was here"

Cas smiled. "She really did. But don't act like you didn't enjoy that as well"

Dean shrugged with a smirk. "What can I say Cas, there's still a child inside"

They turned around a corner and arrived at the diner. Dean held the door open for Cas and they entered, Dean still with his sunglasses on, Cas with a nervous glance around them. There were a few people, but none of them even bothered to look up when they came in.

A young waitress behind the counter seemed to recognize Dean though, and she greeted them with a smile and a little wave of her hand. Dean smiled back at her and walked up to the counter, Cas next to him.

"Hey Mandy," Dean smiled at her, "good to see you"

"Hey," she returned the smile. "You too. The usual to go menu?"

"No, actually," he glanced over at Cas, "could we have one of the tables in the back?"

"Sure," she smiled. "Just go around the corner and pick one, I'll be right there"

"Thanks," Dean said and led Cas around the corner, as she had said.

There were a few more tables, hidden from the view of the rest of the room by the wall to the kitchen. There was a door in the back, probably storage or something similar, Cas thought, and probably the three tables that were sort of hidden back here weren't usually used that much.

They sat down at the last table at the end of the room, and Dean had only just taken off the sunglasses and given Cas another quick smile when Mandy appeared already.

They quickly ordered. Dean seemed to have a standard go-to meal, and even though Cas had never been here before, he quickly made a choice with a little advice from Dean.

"So, you know her?" Cas asked as Mandy had disappeared again.

"Mh," Dean made, " _knowing_ is a bit much. I come here from time to time, and she's been here since the very first time a couple years ago. She's always been very discreet, and even though she knew exactly who I was right the first time I walked in here, she never made a fuss about it. And she's just really nice. But we never talked much or anything"

"I see," Cas said. "I hope you appreciate her discretion with an appropriate tip?"

"Sure," Dean smiled. "You know that, though. I'm not an asshole"

"Yeah," Cas agreed.

It was quiet for a second before any of them spoke again.

"Can I ask you something?" Cas now asked.

"Sure," Dean replied with a smile.

"I, uhm ..." he started, "well I've been reading some comments online. And maybe I shouldn't have done that in the first place, but it ... some of them got really close to me, you know? And I talked to my friend about it, and she said I just shouldn't bother thinking about it, and she's right, but I just ... I mean, how do you do it?"

Dean let out a quiet sigh and eyed Cas as he leaned slightly back in his seat.

"What kind of comments were that?" He then asked. "That upset you?"

"Not nice ones," Cas said quietly. "Calling me the f-slur. Also calling me other things. Homophobic, mostly."

"I see," Dean said thoughtfully. "Yeah. I try to avoid getting too deep into the comments, for that exact reason. But I don't wanna ignore people's reactions entirely, so I see some stuff now and then. But I haven't really found the perfect strategy to handle it yet."

"But what do you do? Because I only read a few of them in a row and then had to stop because I felt like crying under the covers"

"Do me a favour and stop reading comments," Dean said softly, "okay? For your own good. You really don't need that in your life."

Cas replied with a nod and a silent "okay".

"Good," Dean then said. "It's really ... you don't have to put up with that, seriously. As for me ... I'm inured to that by now, I'd say, because after years of this, I'm somehwat used to it. Doesn't mean it can't hurt. But I think I've grown to the point where I can read such a comment and realize that it doesn't mean anything. It's not important. It's just some idiot on the internet being a dick, and it doesn't matter the slightest for what I do, and there's many many other people who don't think that way"

"Yeah," Cas said. "My friend gave me similar advice. But even if I know it's bullshit on a rational level, it still hurts, and it upsets me, and I ... does that make any sense?"

"Yeah," Dean said softly. "It absolutely does. And I know that feeling. All I've figured out to do about it is just reminding yourself of how irrelevant that comment is every time you see one, and I think it starts getting easier with time."

"And that's all you can do?" Cas asked quietly.

Dean waited with his answer, because right then Mandy returned with their meals. They both thanked her and started eating, continuing their conversation.

"I know it's not perfect," Dean said as he picked up one of his french fries, "but I guess that's just how it is. You gotta remember they're nothing but haters, and they _want_ to make you upset, and you shouldn't let them achieve what they want"

"Mh," Cas only made as he absentmindedly picked up some french fries from his own plate.

"Hey," Dean said softly, "look, I know all this can be hard, especially because you're new to everything. I really know. And it's okay to talk to me, Cas, really. All those new problems, anything you don't know how to deal with, you really can come to me with it. I've been there"

Cas looked up and met Dean's eyes for a moment. "Thank you," he breathed. Then it was quiet again.

They both were eating in silence for a while, then it was Cas who spoke again.

"There's, uhm ..." he started, "Well it's another comment that I read, that made me think"

"Yeah?" Dean asked, chewing down a piece of his cheeseburger.

"It's ... well it's a positive comment this time. But it made me wonder ... well it basically said that it shouldn't take you publicly kissing a man for people to believe you're really bisexual."

Dean looked at Cas, waiting for him to continue, but he didn't.

"Yeah," Dean then said, "it really shouldn't. But I guess you weren't wondering about that."

"No," Cas said, "no, I ... It just was that I hadn't really thought about that before. I mean you told me about the rumours, but I didn't really think about the situation that much. And then I read that comment, and I realized that you've been out for quite a while, and people knew that and simply chose to ignore that. Or rather, they chose to invalidate your own stance on your sexuality and decided that they know better. That's ..."

Cas couldn't think of a fitting word, but he didn't need to.

"Yeah," Dean sighed. "It is. It is, and some days, I really just want to grab some people by their collar and scream right in their faces. Other days I just wanna cry about it. But at the end of the day, you know, I just sit down and remind myself that I know myself best, and I know who I am, and the people that are important to me do as well, and even though it pisses me off infinitely when I see yet another person claiming I'm straight, I can't do anything about it. What more can I do than literally saying out loud in front of a camera that I'm bi? I just ... Well, have to above it, I guess"

"I'm sorry," Cas said quietly.

Dean replied with a soft smile. "Yeah," he said. "But you know, I think it'll get better, now that there's those photos. And again, it really shouldn't be that way, and I ... I know I don't have to prove my sexuality. I don't owe anyone a proof of who I am, especially not people who insult me on anonymous social media accounts. But I think it'll just be nice to no longer hear _but he's never dated a man_ all the time. Especially because it wasn't even true in the first place. It just wasn't any of the internet's business."

Cas had nodded at what Dean had said, and now he looked at him again.

"You're telling me you've managed to date men before without any unwanted photos? That must've been quite a difficult task, judging from my experience"

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "pretty much. I mean I made some experiences before ... well all this. Back when people didn't give a shit about me. But later, with everyone knowing my face ... it wasn't easy, but I made it work. Somehow. For a bit. Didn't last, obviously"

After a sigh and a sip from his drink, he added: "Never does"

Cas eyed the man across the table with a soft expression.

"Maybe it just wasn't right, then?"

"Mh," Dean made and thought for a second. "Maybe, yeah. I like to tell myself that, and for some cases, I can say now that it definitely wasn't right. Others, though ... maybe it was, but I couldn't have it all. Them and the career, I mean"

"But you made a choice," Cas asked, "and chose the career?"

"Yeah," Dean said. "I chose what's more important to me. And I would make the same choice again, I know I would. Because this is my life, and I don't wanna give it up for anything. But then, sometimes, I think about the life I could have, you know, with people that would still be around if the constant attention on me hadn't scared them away"

"Yeah," Cas said quietly. "I get that. But it's just ... sometimes you can't have it all. Gotta make sacrifices. And I think if you're making sacrifices for something that's really important to you ... if it makes you the happiest, it's probably worth it"

Dean eyed him with a hint of a smile.

"Do I hear experience?"

"Well," Cas chuckled, "I'm a single father to a toddler. I gotta make quite a row of sacrifices for my grumpy little number one priority."

"I can imagine," Dean chuckled. "But I think your sacrifices are totally worth it."

Cas looked into Dean's eyes, looking for confirmation of what he just thought he'd heard.

"Don't you think yours are?" He asked quietly.

"Are they?" Dean returned the question. "I don't know, Cas. You're raising an amazing little girl all on your own. I'm just ... singing."

"Oh man," Cas said. "How did you even make it that far with an opinion of yourself that is so low? Dean, listen. Yeah, I may be raising a child. And that's an amazing and big thing to do, and it's entirely different from what you do. But that doesn't mean that what you do isn't important or meaningful. First of all, it makes _you_ happy, and that already makes it meaningful. And then it makes a lot of other people happy, if you wanna accept it or not, your work means a lot to quite a number of people, so don't you dare telling yourself what you do is not important or not worth it, because it is."

"I don't know, Cas," Dean shrugged. "You're shaping an entire life"

"You're influencing millions of lifes," Cas argued.

"That's not the same," Dean said.

"No," Cas agreed, "no it's not. But it's just as important. The fun things in life, Dean. Stories, games, music, that means so much. What you do means so much. We've talked about the lyrics you write, and you told me they mean something to you. And Dean, there's lots of people to whom they mean something as well. Most likely not even the same thing they mean to you. But just like they're important to you, they also help others. And if there's only a few people out there that you made truly happy, who you've given a favourite songs to, or a song they made their best memories to ... Dean. You give a lot to so many people, and you really should be more proud of that"

Dean eyed Cas for a moment with an unknown glance of emotion in his eyes that Cas couldn't exactly define, then he nodded.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "yeah, you ... god, you're right. Thank you. Thank you, Cas"

"Nothing to thank me for," Cas smiled. "It's just the truth"

"Yeah," Dean said. "Yeah, and that got to me, because you really meant it. God. You got no idea how little people actually mean it when they compliment me"

Cas's reply was a heartfelt smile. Once more, he started to wonder about the person Dean Winchester actually was deep down, and what else he didn't know about that man. This short conversation had only given him a glimpse into his head, but he had -again- learned something about him he hadn't expected. Never would he have expected that Dean thought so little about himself and his work, never. That man was an internationally very successful musician, with fans all around the globe looking up to him, aspiring to be like him, who had won awards and been on top of the charts, you’d really think he would be proud of himself and his work, of all his achievements.

"Mh," Cas commented with a smirk to lighten the mood, "I'm rather sure most people are pretty serious about their thirst tweets"

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "I guess they're pretty serious about those"


	9. Chapter 9

There wasn't much change to the everyday business at work the following days. Deadlines had to be met and Dean spent a lot of time upstairs in the studio, practicing alone or with Ed and Harry. Cas barely ever saw him, and the only times they really spoke to each other was when Dean stopped by the office or asked Cas and Garth to have another quick look at some lyrics because they didn't fit quite right yet.

The photos from the shooting came in, as did the drafts for the album cover. Charlie even called Cas over to her desk at some point and asked him for his opinion. Dean hadn't even seen any of the drafts yet when Cas told Dean he liked the one with Dean's profile on the right side the best. The background of this one was a soft, light shade of pink, Dean's face was kept in different shades of grey, and the placeholder "Title" was displayed in white letters on the left side, vertically going down the side.

It was later that week when Dean stormed in and asked for Cas and Garth. Neither Garth nor Charlie were currently there though, and Cas, who was sitting alone in the office breaking his head over a bumpy line in the lyrics he was currently working on, looked up at Dean with a smile.

"Garth isn't in," he said. "He took some work home, because one of the kids got sick"

"Oh," Dean only made. It was obvious that he hadn't known that, which was somehow surprising to Cas because Dean usually knew who was or wasn’t in. On the other hand, he had been upstairs in the studio all morning and Cas hadn't seen him downstairs even once, so he probably had just assumed Garth was in the office with Cas just like the previous days.

"What do you need?" Cas now asked. "It's only me, but maybe I can still get it done?"

"What do you mean, only you?" Dean said. "You're great. It’s just, I wanted to talk to both of you because I got sort of a complicated request that will probably be too much for only one of you. Not talent-wise, I mean. Workload."

"Oh I'm sure he'll come in tomorrow if you ask him too," Cas said, "that shouldn't be a problem"

"Well, yeah, it kinda is," Dean said, and he looked kind of stressed to Cas. "I gotta catch a flight tonight, I'll only be back next week"

Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Why is that? I didn't know you had anything scheduled out of town"

"Well I didn't," Dean explained, "Originally. This was planned in like three weeks’ time. But there were some problems with the booking of the recording studio and we could've either switched it to this week or one more back, and back didn't work for me at all because of the album recordings, so I was told yesterday that I gotta be down in L.A. tomorrow morning the latest, and here we are."

He sighed, then continued. "Anyways. Would you mind if I just leave it with you, then? You can get Garth into it any time, it's just that I really need this done when I'm back because we got the deadline coming"

"Sure, I'll handle it," Cas smiled. "What's it about?"

And Dean dropped some notes on the desk in front of Cas and started explaining some changes he needed done in the lyrics. It was only one song, but from what Cas caught so far, they had started playing around with it during practice and now Dean was asking him to shift the chorus around and make corresponding changes to the second and third verse. Short version, he wanted him to rework the entire second half of the song.

"I know it's a lot," Dean said at the end of his explanation, "especially in such short time. And it would be really really _really_ amazing if you could get it done while I'm gone. If you need to get the music in for reference, I'm sure Ed and Harry can help. They discussed this with me, they know what's going on"

"Okay," Cas smiled at him. "I got it. The lyrics for track number 13, though-"

"That can wait," Dean said. "13's deadline is further back. This one is the priority for now"

"Alright," Cas said. "Consider it done"

Now, Dean's stressed expression moved to a soft smile.

"Thank you," he said. "What would I do without you"

"Mh," Cas shrugged with a smirk, "I don't know, missing deadlines, having to postpone the album, not making such great headlines and trend on twitter ..."

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, "got it. I'd be lost"

"Probably, yeah," Cas laughed. "So, what are you going down to L.A. for ?"

"Oh it's the Taylor Swift recording," Dean said, and the way he said it sounded like that was the most average thing to do.

"The what now?" Cas asked. He still didn't know the tiniest thing about celebrities, but even he had heard the name Taylor Swift before.

"The recording," Dean said, now irritated by Cas's reaction, "with Taylor Swift. For her upcoming album. Because she wants to feature me in one song."

"You're recording a song with Taylor Swift?"

"Y-yeah...?" Dean said, and now he was straight up confused. So was Cas.

"For how long has that been planned?" He asked.

"A couple months, maybe," Dean said. "You didn't know that?"

"I didn't know that," Cas shook his head.

"I didn't tell you?" Dean asked, "I didn't...? I could've _sworn_ I told you at some point"

"You definitely didn't," Cas said, "I would absolutely remember if you had told me about _that_ "

"Huh," Dean made with a thoughtful look at Cas. "I really thought I did. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to ... like, exclude you or something. That wasn't my intention"

Cas gave him a soft smile. "No need to apologize," he said.

"Yes, I think so," Dean said. "Maybe you're not offended, but I'm still sorry."

Cas’s only reply was another smile.

"But you know," Dean then added, "what I find a bit offensive towards myself? That you had not the slightest clue who I am when we first met, but I mention Taylor Swift once and you're immediately like _OMG Taylor Swift????!?!"_

"That was _not_ my reaction," Cas chuckled.

"Nah, it was pretty close," Dean laughed.

"It wasn't," Cas laughed. "And there's no need to be offended, because even though I didn't know who you were, I like you better"

"Aww," Dean made. "Is that music-wise or in general?"

"I can confirm music-wise," Cas said, "and while I really like you overall, I've never met her and have to give her the benefit of the doubt"

"Mh," Dean smirked. "You like me better"

"Yeah," Cas shrugged. "As if it matters, though. You're not gonna brag about that in front of her"

"Who says I won't?" Dean chuckled.

"That one reasonable voice in your head, I hope," Cas laughed.

"Yeah alright, I won't," Dean gave in with a chuckle. "Anyways, Cas, I'm sorry, but I gotta finish some paperwork with Jo and then I gotta go home and pack. It's a hectic day."

"No problem," Cas smiled. "For how long will you be gone?"

"5 days," Dean said. "That's why it's throwing my schedule upside down so much"

"5 days, all for recording one song?"

"Well, we got 3 days scheduled for that. Then, since we're down in Cali anyway, we'll hop over to see Sam - both professionally and private, there's some legal stuff he wants to talk about"

"I see," Cas nodded. "Who's _we_ , though?"

"Oh Jo is coming with me," Dean explained. "She's gotta talk some licensing stuff with Taylor's guys and she understands more of Sam's law crap than I do, so she tags along. And she's waiting for me right now, so ..."

"Yeah sure, don't let me stop you," Cas smiled. "Good luck for everything. And have a safe flight!"

Dean's answer was a heartfelt smile and a soft "see you then, Cas" before he disappeared into the hallway.

The next couple days, it wasn't really obvious that Dean wasn't there. To Cas, it felt like every other day when Dean had disappeared upstairs all the time. The only difference now was that Dean wasn't there at lunch either, and Cas would've never admitted it to anyone - he didn't even want to admit it to himself - but he missed him sitting there across the table and cracking a stupid joke that made Cas almost choke on his food, he missed the way Dean smiled at him, he just missed his presence and the way it felt good to just have him around.

Cas had informed Garth about their new - admittedly, intense - task, and both of them started working hard on it in order to finish the lyrics by the time Dean would come back. They did consult Ed and Harry twice, and they actually managed to agree on a final draft the day before Dean's planned return.

Then, Dean and Jo arrived back in town, both exhausted but content with how the trip had went, and everything was normal again. Dean was happy with the work Cas and Garth had done, and the songs went back into practice right away.

Cas witnessed that there were a couple more calls with someone on Taylor Swift's team, mostly involving Charlie, and she mentioned to him once that it was about a planned teasing post for the featured song on both musician's social media accounts that they had to coordinate properly.

Cas finished the other lyrics he had been working on - the last ones for now, as he was told, since the release date for the album kept coming closer and they were trying to wrap it up in the near future. Then there were another couple of busy days filled with recording sessions, and suddenly, after weeks of hard work and lots of time pressure, Cas found himself at his desk in the office without any more work to do.

He decided to go look for Dean, and found him upstairs in the studio by himself. Ed and Harry weren't there as all of their recordings were finished so far and they, just like Cas, didn't have any more work to do for now.

When Cas opened the door, Dean was sitting at the couch in the back, playing his guitar and silently muttering something. Cas assumed he was singing, but he couldn't hear a word.

When Dean heard the door open, he looked up and as he saw Cas, he immediately stopped and put the guitar down on the stand next to him.

"Hey," Dean smiled at him

"Hey," Cas replied and walked over to him. Now as he was closer to Dean, he had the impression that his cheeks were slightly more red than usual. "What were you doing?"

"Oh," Dean made and glanced over at the guitar, "nothing"

"What, nothing?" Cas chuckled. "You were singing, weren't you? Is that another new song? I thought we were finished?"

"No, it's just ..." Dean said, and he seemed strangely nervous to Cas, "I was just playing around. Trying something. But it's nothing. The album's finished, yeah"

"Alright," Cas said. He accepted the answer, even though it seemed weird to him. But whatever, he thought, maybe Dean had tried out a thought he was embarrassed about. That really wasn't his place to probe into that. "I was just looking for you," he then changed the topic, "because I don't really ... I mean we're finished for now, and I got nothing to do"

"Yeah," Dean smirked, "we got sort of a dead couple days coming. Well, Charlie and Jo are as busy as always, but us others, not really"

"Yeah," Cas agreed. "So, I ... I don't know, is there anything I can do?"

Dean eyed him with a smile - it was exactly that soft smile that Cas had missed - and seemed to think for a moment before he answered.

"You know what," he then said, "just take a couple days off. If you want, of course. There isn't really any point in you sitting around here if you could just as well be spending time with your daughter. It's summer, take her out for some ice cream or something"

After a short pause, he added: "Just make sure she doesn't drop it on any innocent passer-bys"

Cas laughed out loud at that comment. Dean would never let him live that down, he was almost certain about it.

"I don't know," he then shrugged with a smirk, "the outcome wasn't that bad the last time"

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "But I mean it. We'll be grinding hard again in just a bit, you should enjoy some time with her now"

"Sure?" Cas asked.

"Yeah," Dean smiled. "The little sunshine deserves some fun time with her father. And if we get an unforeseen emergency situation, I got your number"

Cas looked at Cas with a soft smile on his own. The way Dean thought of Claire so much, it seemed really sweet to him.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay," Dean replied. He kept the eye contact with Cas, and mirrored his smile. None of the two looked away, and none of them said anything.

His eyes were so beautiful, Cas couldn't help thinking. So so beautiful. His freckles were especially standing out today, he didn't know why, but they seemed more prominent than usual, and they were cute. They were really damn cute. And his lips. Dean's lips were right there, right in front of him, and they looked so soft today. It had been quite a while since Cas had last kissed Dean, it had been a while since they had pretended to be on a date at that café, but Cas still remembered the trampoline jump that kissing those lips had caused his heart, and he really wouldn't complain about revisiting that feeling right now ...

The moment was suddenly interrupted by Dean's phone announcing a new text message with a loud sound, and both men hastily glanced away to avoid the other one's eyes.

Dean cleared his throat as he awkwardly felt for his phone and checked the message.

"It's Charlie," he then announced. "I gotta go see her. You, uhm ... just take some time off, really. Have fun with Claire."

Another awkward confirmation by Cas, and even more awkward goodbye, and then Cas left, a little voice screaming inside his head about what on earth that had been about and what the actual fuck he thought he was doing.  
  


*  
  


Cas forced himself to forget about that awkward encounter with Dean pretty soon and instead followed his advice to spend some time with his daughter. Claire was more than happy when he came home that day and told her he'd be there for a couple of days, no work, only her.

They did little fun activities together like going to the playground or having ice cream in town. One afternoon they visited Missouri, another day Cas took her to the zoo.

After Claire had started telling Cas multiple times a day that she wanted to ride a rollercoaster - and he had not the slightest clue where that sudden urge had come from, neither who had taught her what a rollercoaster was in the first place - and his second pay check from WMR music came in, he thought, why not treat his daughter to that rollercoaster ride she wanted so badly. So, he called up Jo, and the next day they took Claire on a day trip to a theme park appropriate for her age a few towns over.

Claire had incredibly much fun, and both Cas and Jo couldn't complain either. There was one ride that Cas took with his daughter that he immediately regretted afterwards, as the seats were obviously not designed for adults and his back was not amused at all about sitting in that weird position, but she had fun, that was pretty much worth it for Cas.

Cas had had a slight worry about being recognized by anyone, but he calmed himself by thinking that it had been some time since his picture had been published anywhere and people probably didn't remember that face from a couple weeks ago. And then, walking through the park with Jo, Claire in between them, holding one of each their hands, he realised that the two of them were obviously being perceived as that little girl's parents right now, and that even if anyone would recognize his face, they probably wouldn't assume that this man who was here with what seemed to be his family could be the same one that had been seen kissing Dean Winchester, but rather someone who just happened to look a lot like him.

Claire was on an absolute high after that day at the theme park, and she rode on it for multiple days afterwards. Then, another couple of days later, she had found yet another new passion.

Jo had gotten her some finger paint, and Cas had been okay with it, as long as she'd only use them with him around. Now that was the part that Claire didn't seem very content with, because she constantly tried snatching them when he was busy and run off to start another artwork.

Cas was cleaning up in the kitchen during a suspiciously long period of silence from Claire, and just as he was thinking that maybe he should go check on her, he heard a dull dropping sound alongside with a shocked toddler scream.

Without hesitation he threw the sponge back into the sink and dried his hands on his shirt while running over into the living room. He found Claire sitting on the ground, covered in paint, a puddle of blue paint on the floor around her. The other three cups of paint were sitting off to the side untouched, and a sheet of paper with the start of a picture on it was to her left. In the midst of that chaos was Claire, blue stripes on her face, and her clothes one big stain, tears running down her face.

"Claire ..." Cas sighed and kneeled down next to her, careful to not step into the puddle of paint.

His daughter looked up at him out of swollen red eyes, just looked at him for a second, and then started crying loudly.

"Okay," Cas said in a calm voice, "okay, Claire, we got this, okay? We're just gonna ..." he carefully picked up the blue cup and put the lid back on the keep the rest of paint that was still inside exactly where it was, "... look, we make sure nothing else spills out, and then we clean this up, and it's okay, yeah?"

Claire was still crying, but she reacted to him speaking with a sobbing nod. Then she lifted her little hand up to wipe the tears away, and Cas could stop her by grabbing her wrist just in time before the paint reached her eyes.

"Don't touch your face," he said softly as she looked at him in confusion, "if you get the paint in your eyes, it hurts."

Again, Claire nodded, and now she was still sniffing still, but she had stopped crying.

"Okay," Cas said seriously, "Claire, look at me."

Immediately, the pair of tear-stained little eyes moved to meet her father's.

"Claire," he said, "What did I say about using the finger paint? What did I say about when you can use them?"

"Only when you're there," the girl mumbled in a sad voice.

"Yeah," Cas said. "And was I there?"

She shook her head, and he could see her eyes fill with tears again.

"Exactly," he said. "Did you ask me if you could use them?"

"No," she answered in a shaky voice.

"Then why did you use them?"

"I just wanted to make a picture," she said, and while speaking, her voice broke and she started crying again.

"But I didn't allow you to, did I?"

Claire shook her head, now she was full out crying again.

"Hey," Cas said softly and stroked the side of her head that wasn't covered in paint, "Hey, love, I'm not angry, okay? I'm not angry because you made a mess. You didn't mean to do that, right? That was an accident, that happens. But that's exactly why I told you to not use the paint when I'm not there. If you would've waited until I'm there, I could have helped you. Do you understand that?"

Claire slightly nodded.

"Can you say it?"

"Yes," Claire said in her shaky voice.

"So, what are you gonna do the next time you want to use the paint?"

"Ask you," she said.

"Exactly," Cas said. "Great talk. Now, let's get you cleaned up"

It quite an extensive project, but a couple of minutes later, Cas had managed to carry his daughter into the bathroom without leaving blue footprints all throughout the house or covering himself in paint as well. First, he considered only washing off her face, but after removing her shirt and finding out that somehow, she had gotten the paint even below her sleeves, he decided to just sit her down in the shower and scrub her clean.

While cleaning her up, he kept talking to her, explained again why he wanted her to ask him before using the paint, and by the time he had washed the blue stripes out of her blonde hair, she quietly apologized for not asking.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she said, and with the cute little puppy eyes she made at him, Cas immediately gave her a soft smile.

"I know," I said and pressed a quick kiss onto her forehead.

Another couple minutes later, Claire was dried off and fully dressed again on the couch where Cas had told her not to move away from while her dirty clothes were soaking in the bathroom sink and Cas was mopping up the paint on the living room floor.

There was some stubborn paint that had started drying though, and just a moment later, Cas was on his knees scrubbing the floor, hoping to get rid of the blue colour entirely, because otherwise that would result in a rather unpleasant conversation with the landlord, he knew that.

Just as Cas was scrubbing over a very _very_ stubborn stain, his phone started ringing.

"God," he groaned. "The worst timing, I swear"

While still on his knees with the sponge in his right hand, the left hand fished his phone out of his pocket, and with unease, he read the caller ID.

It was Dean. Of course. Of course, after over a week of his break, Dean had to call him at the worst possible moment. Right now. Of course.

After an annoyed sigh, he answered the phone as calmly as possible.

"Novak?"

"Cas, hey!" He heard Dean's familiar voice. "I hope I'm not interrupting some fun family activities?"

"Pf," Cas laughed out ironically. "Family activities, maybe. But fun, definitely not"

"Oh," Dean made, obviously not quite sure what to say to that. "You're alright, though?"

"Oh yeah no we're fine," Cas confirmed hastily. "We just had a, let’s call it a little paint accident on the living room floor"

"I see," Dean chuckled. "Cas listen, I'm really sorry to ask this while you're on a break, but I kinda need you"

"Okay?" Cas said, "What's the matter?"

"I need my fake boyfriend to come to this thing with me tonight," Dean said, and by his tone, Cas got the feeling that this wasn't exactly a question.

"What thing?" He asked.

"Charity event," Dean explained shortly. "I would've gone alone because there's gonna be press for sure, but we got this situation and I don't wanna risk another snarky article about me showing up somewhere alone"

"Hold on," Cas stopped, " _another_? What did I miss?"

"Oh just some rumour bullshit," Dean said, "I'll explain later. How fast can you be here?"

"I, uhm ..." Cas stuttered, eyeing the floor with the blue stains on it, his clothes that were soaked from cleaning the floor and bathing his daughter, and Claire who was sitting on the couch watching him, not having moved a millimeter ever since he had sat her down there. "I'm not sure, I kinda ... I mean I got Claire here, and - do I need to get ready? What do you need me to wear?"

"Jo's here with me, she can look after Claire," Dean immediately offered. "And don't worry about what to wear, I got a suit for you. I just need you here, all else is taken care of. How fast can you make it?"

"Uhm ..." Cas made and checked the clock on the wall, "no chance I can catch the next bus, so the fastest, an hour. Maybe one and a half."

Cas heard a sigh through the line, and he knew Dean wasn't happy with that answer. It was silent for just a second, then: "Charlie is gonna pick you up"

"O-okay," Cas accepted, because he knew he didn't have another option.

After that call, he hastily mopped over the floor again, doing as much as he could for now. There still were blue stains, but he'd have to worry about that at a later time.

He told Claire they were going to visit Dean's friend Jo, and Claire's mood lightened up immediately. Cas got himself cleaned up and changed his clothes, and right when he was helping Claire to get into her shoes, the doorbell rang.

With one of Claire's shoes still in hand, he jumped over to open. Charlie was there with a smile on her face.

"Hi!" She said, "anyone called an uber?"

Cas chuckled and asked her to come inside for a second.

"We're almost ready," he said while walking back over to Claire who was sitting on the ground with one shoe on. "We just need this shoe to get on and then we're good to go.

"Sure, no hurry," Charlie smiled.

"Well that sounded different on the phone," Cas said and closed the velcros on both his daughter's shoes.

"Ah, Dean's a bit stressed," Charlie explained. "Hard day for him. I wouldn't wanna be you tonight"

"Well thanks for that heads-up," Cas said. Great, he thought. A bad day at home, and a salty Dean on top of that. Truly amazing.

He lifted Claire up on his arm, grabbed his keys and turned to Charlie. "Done"

During the drive, they didn't talk much. It was mostly Claire pointing out things on the street or asking her father what certain buttons in the car were for, and Charlie watched with a smile how Cas patiently explained.

At the studio building, they met Dean and Jo who were waiting in Jo's office already. Jo patiently, Dean visibly nervously. He did calm down for a second when Claire noticed him and immediately ran towards him. With a smile he leaned down to greet her with a boop on the nose that made her chuckle, but as soon as the little girl had run over to Jo, he was back to his tense mood.

Dean asked Cas to follow him, and after a short explanation to Claire that he had to go with Dean and she should be nice to Jo, he did, together with Charlie.

The room Dean led them into was the meeting room, and as soon as they all had taken their seats, Charlie explained.

"Alright," she said, "we decided - no, _I_ decided that I'm gonna give you a briefing this time, since Dean is not in his best mood."

Dean rolled his eyes at that, but didn't argue.

"Anyway," Charlie continued, "some social media stuff happened while you were away, Dean was photographed down in Cali with Sam and Jo and someone came up with an absurd theory about why you're not there, then his jilted ex tweeted out some stuff, long story short, we just really need positive publicity again. Dean was gonna show up for that charity event tonight anyways, but we figured that it would be better if you'd be there too. It's a gala collecting donations for a local organization providing housing for homeless children and teens. It's an organization we've been supporting for quite a while now, and Dean is sort of their face tonight."

"Okay," Cas said. "What do I do?"

"Smile and look good," Charlie explained. "Dean will have to do some talking, and you don't have to be on stage with him, but down in the room, stay by his side, do your disgustingly cute little hand holding waist grip thing. Maybe, if you can't avoid it, engage in some conversation. But Dean won't leave you faced with anything on your own"

"Right," Dean now spoke for the first time. "You won't have to talk to anyone any more than basic small talk, I'll handle that"

"Yeah," Charlie said, "That's the basics. Any more questions?"

"Uhm ..." Cas hesitated, "No, not really."

"Great," Charlie smiled. "Then I'll leave you to Dean"

That meant, as Cas found out, Dean leading him into the next room, the one with the beanbag chairs. Dean had brought two different suits for Cas to try on. Both of them looked and felt more expensive than anything Cas had ever owned.

"Where did you get those?" Cas asked as he was inspecting them, "on such short notice?"

"Oh they're mine," Dean said indifferently. "I figured you'd wear more or less the same size"

Cas stopped as he heard that. He hadn't expected Dean to just ... bring his own expensive suit for him to borrow. And more importantly, he hadn't been prepared to wear clothes that belonged to Dean. Clothes that Dean had probably _worn_ at some point, even. Dean's body had been inside those clothes, Cas thought. His incredibly attractive body. Inside _those_ exact clothes he was about to wear.

"Is that a problem?" Dean now asked in response to Cas's silent staring.

"No," Cas replied hastily, "God, no, I just ... I didn't expect you to do that. That's all"

Now, Dean smirked. He suddenly seemed less stressed, Cas noticed.

"Well, I gotta share some clothes with my boyfriend," Dean smirked, "Isn't that what people do?"

"Yeah," Cas chuckled before he took the first one to the bathroom to try it on.

As he returned to the room in a suit that felt good on him, but at the same time like he would risk his entire assets if he'd only get as much as a stain on it, Dean's eyes scanned him from head to toes and back with a smile.

"Perfect," he said. "That one"

"What," Cas chuckled, "you don't want me to try on the other one as well?"

"No, that one," Dean said. "I know that the other one's slightly wider. This one is perfect. It looks good on you, really. Better than on me"

Cas laughed out loud at that. "I highly doubt that," he laughed.

"No, seriously," Dean grinned. "It looks great on you"

"Thank you," Cas smiled at Dean, and as he looked into the other man's eyes, and Dean didn't look away, he got that same weirdly good feeling he had already gotten the last time he had been here before his break, upstairs in the studio, alone with Dean.


	10. Chapter 10

A couple of hours later, Cas was sitting in Dean's car, an old chevy impala that Dean seemed to be very proud of, and Cas had to admit that it was a really nice car, even though the lack of seatbelts did slightly concern him.

They were parked in the back of the event's building already, but none of them had showed any sign of planning to actually get out of the car so far.

Cas nervously looked down at himself. He was wearing Dean's fancy suit, alongside with a pair of just as fancy shoes Dean had magicked up out of nowhere as well, and he overall felt like he definitely did not belong here.

"You okay?" Dean had apparently noticed that something was up with Cas, and he eyed him with a concerned glance.

"Yeah," Cas replied hastily, "yeah, all good"

"Doesn't seem like it, though," Dean said. "You can talk to me, remember?"

Cas turned to Dean with a sigh.

"Alright," he sighed. "I feel like I'm wearing clothes made out of literal bags of money, like this suit is worth more than my entire goddamn closet back home, and I just feel wrong. But that's nothing you could change, so yeah. All good."

"What do you mean," Dean asked calmly, "you feel _wrong_?"

"I ..." Cas sighed, "I just feel like I don't belog here, you know? Because I ..." he shrugged, "This isn't me, Dean. And come on, you know that. Just a couple hours ago I was on my knees scrubbing my living room floor, and that alone makes me entirely different from the people that go here. Like they don't clean their homes themselves. I just ..."

He stopped, looking at Dean with all the insecurities showing on his face. Dean looked back at him with one of those soft smiles Cas liked so much to see from him.

"Cas," Dean said softly, "I get that. Really, I do. When I first had to start coming to those events, that was exactly the way I felt. Don't let them make you feel like you're inferior to them in any way, because you're not."

"I don't even need anyone to give me that feeling," Cas said, "because I'm sitting here in your fancy expensive clothes and I feel the weight of their price on me, and then I look at you in your even fancier suit that probably was even more expensive, and I ..." he sighed. "I knew your life was entirely different from mine. I always knew that, but I think I partly forgot about it because when we're working together, you're so ... you're not out of touch with my normal world, you don't act like you're better than any of us. But this right now ... Dean, I used to be a teacher. The only times I've ever been around people in fancy clothes was when I was on supervision duty at prom, and that was teenagers in dresses from amazon!"

"Amazon, really?" Dean chuckled. "Back in my day, if you needed a cheap dress, you either sewed your own or borrowed one. No, seriously, Cas. I get that, and I didn't want to bring you into this for that exact reason. And I'm sorry to ask that from you, I really am, but I need you in there"

"What if I embarrass you?" Cas asked quietly, "If I do or say something completely stupid, because I'm just a stupid normal person and-"

"Hey," Dean interrupted him, "nothing about you is stupid, you got me? And maybe people notice you're new to this, so what? You _are_ , and you don't need to pretend you're not. After all, my boyfriend's just a normal guy. If anything, you just make this way more authentic."

"Yeah," Cas sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right. I just don't feel comfortable going in there, that's all"

"You wanna know a secret?" Dean smirked. "Me neither. I don't like events like this, you know with the rich snobby people all around, trying to convince them to spare some of their dusted money to help people who are literally living on the streets because they can't afford housing, and sometimes they're so shamelessly cheap about it even though they don't even know what to do with all their money. It's ridiculous if you think about it. But I go in there nevertheless and do my best because the cause is important to me, and afterwards I'm disgusted by myself for all the bootlicking, but that's just how it is. So, I propose we go in there and suffer together, what do you think?"

Cas agreed, and a few minutes later, he was walking into the hall on Dean's arm, looking around to see many rich people in their expensive clothes talking to each other while soft music played in the background. It was the kind of music that you’d expect at an event like this, Cas thought. No _usual_ music, of course not. No, something _with class._ Even though, he also thought, it was kind of ironic to have a musician as successful as Dean be this event’s celebrity face and not utilize any of his music at all.

"Don't panic," Dean whispered into his ear, "I got you. You're all good"

Cas's reply was a quick nod before he turned back to looking around the hall and manifesting his impression that he definitely didn't belong here.

The first person they talked to, and the only one Cas was properly introduced to, was a brunette woman with a cheeky smile in a dress that seemed significantly more normal to Cas than all the others. This one seemed significantly more ... prom.

Another thing that told Cas she was different was that Dean seemed like he was genuinely happy to see her. He greeted her with a quick hug for which Cas had to let go of him for a second before he introduced her to Cas. Her name was Lexie, as Cas was told, and she was one of the people working for the charity and who had organised this event. Apparently, Dean had been working with her for some years already, and they had a nice quick chat before Dean dragged Cas away from her and they started an exhausting tour through the crowd of people.

Dean talked to lots and lots of people, Cas constantly on his arm smiling when he felt it was appropriate but not being involved in any conversation otherwise. And he wasn't really upset about that. Yes, maybe he did find it a bit impolite that none of the people Dean talked to even acknowledged his presence, but on the other hand, he thought, he didn't exactly want them to in the first place.

There was a photographer wandering around, strangely contrasted from everyone else in his jeans and black shirt, who shot pictures of various guests and didn’t spare Dean and Cas either. Cas had watched some others pose for photos, and that had made him insecure about how to behave, but when the man with the camera approached them, Dean leaned in and kissed Cas's cheek at the exact right moment, solving that problem.

Then later, they watched Lexie on stage give a quick speech, and after that, it was Dean's turn. Cas was left off to the side, suddenly very alone and a lot more insecure than he had been before on Dean's arm. A few words into Dean's talk, Cas noticed Lexie appearing next to him and giving him a friendly cheer-up smile. 

Cas returned the smile, and suddenly he felt a lot better again. That woman right next to him was about as lost as he was here, but she didn't let the rich people notice. She didn't let them drag her down, and that thought motivated Cas for some reason. Lexie stood next to him the entire time until Dean finished his speech and the guests started chattering among each other again.

As Cas was back on Dean's arm, Dean leaned in and whispered into his ear again: "They're gonna attack the buffet now, you wanna take a break?"

He didn't have to ask that question twice, as Cas immediately nodded. Dean lead him out through a side door, and after a short walk through a sterile hallway, Cas found himself outside at the side of the building. Dean pushed a wedge in below the door with his foot to keep it open just a crack and then turned back to Cas with a smile.

"You're familiar with the building, then?" Cas asked with a nod to the wedge.

"Well," Dean chuckled, "I know how to get out. We've been doing this type of event here for a couple of years, and right the first year Lexie showed me this way out"

"Lexie," Cas said, "she seems nice. And she puts up with that regularly?"

"Yeah," Dean replied, "regularly, multiple times a year, for about 5 years now"

"But she's ... I mean she's so _normal_ ," Cas said. "How does she ..."

Dean smirked. "It's not like she _likes_ being here," he said. "She's probably as much of a fan of this as you are. But the charity is important to her, and no financial support, no charity work, so here she is, faking a smile until her cheeks get numb"

"That is, as my former students would probably say, a mood," Cas chuckled.

"Mh," Dean chuckled, "Is that what the kids say these days?"

"It is, yeah. But you're a teen idol, shouldn't you know?"

"Oh Cas," he laughed, "I am an old man. One foot in the coffin already"

"You're 30," Cas chuckled.

"As I said, an old man"

"Old man my ass," Cas smirked. "You do realize though that I'm older than you, yeah?"

"Mh," Dean shrugged with a cheeky grin, "so you're an old man as well"

"Excuse me I am very youthful. I'm cool, even. I know words like _mood_ "

Dean laughed out loud at that. "Yeah, you sure can tell me that's the slang, I can't prove you wrong. But maybe you're just making that up?"

"I'm not," Cas chuckled. "And I'm cool, really. I was the most popular teacher at our school"

"Now that is something I believe right away," Dean smiled, "because you're definitely likeable"

"You think?" Cas asked, glad that it was dark because he really didn't need Dean to see his blush.

"Yeah. I think"

They fell silent, once again only smiling at each other and looking into the other one's eyes as good as that was possible in the dark, with the only source of light being the moon.

His smile, Cas thought, it felt so good. It was beautiful, of course it was beautiful, it always was. But apart from that, it was also warm, it was honest, and it sparked that nice feeling inside his chest.

"Why did you stop teaching?" Dean asked after a moment of silence.

"Well I got a new job," Cas shrugged. That was such a bad and obvious lie, and he knew Dean wouldn't have that, but he tried anyway, because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Bullshit, Cas," Dean said calmly. "When we first met, you had stopped already. You told me you were unemployed. You quit teaching before you met me"

Cas sighed and suddenly avoided Dean's eyes.

"Yeah," he said. Nothing more than that.

He could feel Dean's eyes on him, observing him, looking for something to make this clearer than it was at the moment.

"Alright," Dean then said, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I wouldn't have asked if I had known it's a sensitive topic"

Cas stood there in silence for another moment, hands in his pockets, still not looking at Dean - who was, Cas was aware of that, still eyeing him.

"I was fired," Cas then said and looked back up straight into Dean's eyes. "About two months before we met"

"Oh," Dean made, obviously surprised.

"Yeah," Cas sighed.

"And ... why is that?" Dean asked hesitantly. Cas let out another sigh without taking his eyes off of Dean. He had wanted to avoid that question, but when he had decided to tell Dean he had been fired, he knew he had signed up for the follow-up as well. And even though Cas didn't like talking about it, he hadn't ever talked about it with anyone else than Jo, he felt a strange sense of trust with Dean, and something just told him to do it. It just felt right.

"Because I'm gay," he answered quietly and swallowed down the wave of emotion that built up in his throat every time the topic came up.

Dean stared for a second.

"No," he then breathed, "that's ... that's illegal. I'm pretty sure that's illegal ... right?"

"It is, yeah," Cas said. "Didn't stop them from terminating my employment for _unspecified reasons_ "

"But you just ..." Dean was trying hard to follow, "I mean, you didn't do anything? Because, like ... that's illegal?"

"Yeah," Cas said calmly, looking into Dean's eyes. "It's illegal, and I could've made a fuss and sued them, and maybe I would've, if it would've been just me. But I ..." he shrugged, "look, Dean, I'm a single father. And even though the entire situation makes my blood boil every time I think about it and I would be happy to see some assholes getting payback for this, I decided to not take them to court, because a lawsuit would take so much time, and it would cost me a lot, and even though I know I'd have good chances of winning and getting compensation, I had to think short term, and that meant making sure my daughter can eat every day until I can find a new job. I simply didn't have the money or the time or the energy to sue anyone"

Dean looked at Cas in silence for an instant, then nodded.

"I understand," he said quietly. "Yeah. But do you think you'll ever do something about it? Or will you just let them get away with that?"

"I don't know," Cas shrugged. "At first, I thought as soon as I got a stable income again, they'll hear from me. But by now ... I mean, my life is good now. I got a way better job, and honestly, who cares about a bunch of homophobes that didn't want me around their children. Screw them. And I hope, I really hope that those parents that kept complaining about me enjoy seeing me on their kid's tabloid magazines and twitter feeds, kissing their kid's very male musical idol"

"Yeah," Dean now chuckled, "let's hope they enjoy that"

"Yeah," Cas smirked.

They smiled at each other yet again, until after several seconds, Dean broke the comfortable silence.

"I'm sorry I asked," he said.

"Don't be," Cas smiled. "You couldn't have known"

"Still. And I just ... I mean, if you ever decide to go for it after all and sue them, I'd be glad to help. Or, you know, ask Sam to help. But you'd have my support. Your thing, of course. Just ... if"

Cas replied with a heartfelt smile.

"Thank you," he said, and he truly meant it.

It was quiet for yet another moment. Cas enjoyed Dean’s presence in silence for a bit longer, he took in his warm smile and his beautiful face and his sparkling eyes that were looking at him _like that_ again, until finally, it was him to break the silence this time.

"What you said," he hesitantly started asking a question, "on the phone, earlier. About the negative articles, and that jilted ex making comments … what’s it with that?"

"Mh," Dean made. His smile faded, and just for a second, he avoided Cas’s eyes.

"You don’t have to tell me, of course," Cas backpedalled immediately. "If you don’t want to"

"No, it’s …" Dean sighed and returned his gaze onto Cas, "I mean, you told me about your unpleasant past, right? It’s only fair that I do the same"

"I didn’t have to do it, either," Cas argued quietly. "I did, because I felt I could trust you with it. If you’re not comfortable telling me, that’s totally fine"

There it was again, that smile. That beautiful, beautiful smile.

"Yeah," Dean said with that incredible warm smile on his face. "No, I … I am comfortable with telling you, Cas. Apart from that you could literally just go online and find out, I … I think we have that kind of relationship"

"Yeah?" Cas asked with what was barely more than a whisper. Was this … Did that mean that Dean considered them … yeah, what? Friends? Something else? Definitely something closer than just colleagues, but Cas was thinking, _that kind of relationship_ … yeah, _what_ kind of relationship did they have?

"Yeah," Dean smiled. He made a pause in which he only kept smiling at Cas before he continued. "It’s well … She’s my ex. Lisa. Lisa Braeden. She’s, uhm," he chuckled, "I’d say maybe you’ve heard of her, but I’m rather sure you haven’t. She’s a model"

Cas’s answer was a tiny little smirk. "Yeah, I don’t know any model’s name," he agreed.

"I thought so," Dean said. "Anyways, we were dating a while back, for a little over a year, and it was a rather public thing with both of us being more or less famous, and of course when we broke up – when _I_ broke up – that made headlines as well. And there was of course that speculation going on, there always is with celebrity relationships, about what happened, whose fault it was, all that. And truth was, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, and nothing happened, it just …"

He shrugged, "it just didn’t work. That was all. But she got some insulting comments, because people are always so fast to call women a bitch online, and I’m sorry that happened, but I couldn’t … I _didn’t_ comment on it at all. So, she decided to handle it herself and started making comments about me on her social media, about how it was all my fault and if people wanted to blame anyone it should be me, and then she … I guess she just talked herself into that rage, you know, started blaming me for a lot of things. Long story short, she still does make some comments about me now and then, she was a big factor in that debate about my sexuality, claimed I’m straight, like she’s gotta know and stuff, and she engaged with a few tweets about that topic again just the other day. She’s got a platform, and some people care, and … yeah"

"Oh," Cas made quietly. He wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that. What he thought was, sometimes you just date the wrong people. Sometimes, it’s just not right. Sometimes, they turn out to be not the person you thought they were.

But he didn’t say that, it wouldn’t help, he knew that.

"I’m sorry," was what he said.

"Yeah," Dean acknowledged it. Then, it was quiet for another moment. This time, there was no smiling at each other, there wasn’t that warm feeling. It wasn’t exactly an awkward silence either, it just wasn’t as comfortable as it had been before.

"Anyways," Dean then said. "Let’s forget about that. So," he changed the topic, "that, what was it, paint accident you mentioned? What was that about?"

Cas chuckled at the mention of that, and with his chuckle, the mood immediately became lighter again. His reaction prompted a smile in Dean as well, and the previous warmth between them was right back.

Cas hadn't thought Dean would remember something he had quickly mentioned on the phone, especially not with his PR worries about a charity event and all those headlines, but apparently he did, and he really wanted to know more about it.

"My friend got Claire some paint," he explained, "Those little cups of finger paint. And Claire _loves_ them, like she's constantly all over them. But she's not allowed to use them when I'm not there, for, you know, furniture reasons"

Dean chuckled.

"Yeah," Cas continued, "and today she managed to sneak behind my back and use them without me, and I'm just cleaning up in the kitchen when I hear a loud bang and suddenly a crying child, and I find her sitting in the middle of a puddle of blue paint right on the living room floor. Like it's everywhere, on the floor, her hands, her clothes, all over her. She looked like a smurf."

Dean laughed out loud at the imagination of that scene, and Cas just had to join because his laughter was that contagious.

"What, full on smurf?" Dean now asked laughingly, "Like, just blue everywhere?"

"Yeah," Cas chuckled, "full on smurf. All over her face, even in her hair, her clothes were _soaked_ with paint, and even below her shirt, it was crazy"

"Well at least it's funny," Dean laughed. "I can imagine that so well, little Claire smurf in her blue paint puddle"

"Yeah it's funny _now_! It wasn't so much when I had to clean up her and the entire room. I still got stains on the floor!"

"I mean," Dean smirked, "look at the bright side: It wasn't carpet"

"I would be crazy, having carpet anywhere near Claire," Cas chuckled.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. "The office has carpet, though", he then added with a smirk.

"Mh," Cas made. "No paint, though"

"Right," Dean smiled. "No paint"

Cas didn't say anything. All he did was return Dean's smile. This was getting out of hand, he thought, somewhere in the back of his head while he was smiling at Dean and looking into his beautiful eyes. This was getting _really_ out of hand. This was way too much smiling and staring, way too much of that warm, comfortable feeling Dean’s smile gave him. This wasn't-

"Aren't they missing you in there by now?" He asked, deliberately interrupting the moment. He just shouldn't. _They_ shouldn't.

"No," Dean smiled. "There's a buffet. There usually busy with the food for at least an hour, doing their gossip stuff. Then after that, they're sated and happy and willing to make donations."

"I see," Cas said. "One thing surprises me, though"

"Yeah?"

"You're voluntarily staying away from the buffet?" Cas smirked.

"Well," Dean chuckled, "You know I never say no to some good food. But I ain't gonna battle anyone for it, at least not in those clothes. So, I'll snatch the rests later when the big mob has finished already"

"Mh," Cas chuckled, "so you got a strategy?"

"If you wanna call it that, yeah. It's not my first charity dinner party"

Dean gave Cas a soft smile. "It's yours, though," he added. "How are we feeling?"

"Okay, I think? Maybe slightly uncomfortable in there, but right now, good. Real good."

"Good," Dean smiled. "Me too. Good, right now, I mean. You're fun, Cas"

That unexpected compliment immediately made Cas smile.

"Am I?"

"Yeah," Dean smiled as he spoke quietly. "You're really great fun"

He kept smiling at Cas, and once again, Cas smiled back. This time, he didn't think he shouldn't be doing this. Or maybe he did, and the voice pointing it out was just pushed very far back inside his head, ignored by all the other parts that enjoyed Dean's beautiful smile right in front of him.

Then, Dean did something entirely unexpected. He slowly leaned in, bringing his face closer to Cas's by passing the little distance that had been between them before.

Cas knew what was happening, even though he didn't _understand_ it. He didn't understand it at all, but right then and there, it didn't matter to him.

He instinctively closed his eyes when Dean was only a millimeter away from him, and then he felt the familiar sensation of Dean's lips on his.

The racing of his heart was right back, spreading through his entire body, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he leaned into Dean's touch, leaned his entire body into him and the kiss, softly placing his hands on Dean's chest as he kissed him back.

Cas felt Dean placing his hands on his hips softly and leaning into their kiss as well. They now were standing there in the calm night air with no room between them whatsoever, still connected in a soft kiss.

Cas wasn't thinking. There was no thought at all on his mind, he was filled up entirely with the feeling of the kiss, his racing heart, the feeling of _Dean_ , just Dean, right there with him.

There still was no thought when after a while - Cas didn't know how long, all he knew was that he was with Dean and he had kissed him and he had _loved_ it - Dean pulled back out of the kiss and they remained standing there, still holding each other like that, only looking into each other's eyes for a moment.

And then, when Dean suddenly glanced down to the side, cleared his throat and made a hasty step back from him, Cas's thoughts finally came through again.

The one thought that came crashing in the fastest and loudest was _What?_. What had just happened?, Cas asked himself. Well sure, Dean had kissed him. But _why_ had he done that? They had been alone out here all the time, they had stopped pretending the moment they had passed the door, and Cas knew, or at least was he very sure, that nobody had seen them.

And even if anyone would have seen then from one of the surrounding buildings, it was dark, and the moonlight was only bright enough to, with luck, make out that there's two people standing there, nothing more than that.

But Dean had to be pretending, right? He _had_ to. That was the only explanation that made sense, the only reason why he could have possibly kissed Cas just now. He had to be pretending. Maybe he had thought he'd seen anyone, or maybe he had just wanted to make sure, just in case. But that _had_ to be part of the acting, Cas thought, it just had to be.

The two of them stood there outside the door for another few seconds in awkward silence. Maybe a step or two of distance between them, Dean was still looking to the ground, while Cas stared at the other man, just stared, trying to understand what on earth had just happened and what it could possibly mean.

Then, Dean spoke without looking at Cas. "Buffet?"

"Uhm ..." Cas stuttered, "Yeah. Sure."

And with that, they went back inside, back to Lexie, and the guests, and the pretending.

But something was different than before. Something _felt_ different. Cas was at Dean's arm just like before, and they looked just the same on the outside, but he felt that something was different. And maybe he only made that up, but something gave him the impression that Dean was more distant to him. He had him right there by his arm, but still, Cas felt weirdly distanced.

They went to get some of the food from the buffet, and they didn't speak a single word the entire time. Worse than that, Cas had the impression that every time he looked at Dean, the other man would immediately turn his own glance away.

There were dozens more talks with guests, followed by a quick interview and photo of Dean and Lexie by the press person, then more talks with guests, and during all that time, Dean didn't say another word to Cas, didn't even look at him. He did his pretending for the people and cameras, sure, he did his smiling and holding Cas, but he didn't say a single word.

All that irritated Cas. He simply didn't know what was going on. Had he done anything wrong? Had he made Dean angry in any way? He couldn't understand why Dean was suddenly so different, why he didn't even look at him.

Then, finally, a couple hours later, they were back in Dean's car. As soon as both doors had closed, an awkward silence fell over them. Inside, them not talking hadn't been so strikingly quiet, since there had been lots of other noise around, but now, in the quiet privacy of the car, it became almost crushing.

Cas glanced over to Dean who was looking for his keys in his pocket.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," Dean replied shortly without looking at him.

"Sure?"

"Yeah," Dean said again. He had grabbed the right key and now pushed it into the ignition.

"If everything's fine," Cas said calmly, "then why aren't you talking to me? You're not even looking at me"

With a sigh, Dean turned and now looked at Cas with an expression that seemed rather annoyed to him.

"Happy?"

"No," Cas said. He tried not to get offended by whatever it was Dean was doing, and he just hoped it was working, because he really didn't want to fight with him. "Did I do anything wrong? Because I don't see any reason why you're suddenly so ... _that_ "

"I'm not _anything_ ," Dean said and turned back to turn on the engine.

"Yes you are"

"I'm not"

Dean pulled out of the parking lot and exaggeratedly focused on his driving, so Cas turned to the side with a sigh and looked out the window on the dark street instead.

"Whatever," he mumbled.

Dean didn't show any more need for conversation during the drive and neither when they were back at the office, and Cas wasn't in the mood to try and get him to talk either. So Cas wasn't exactly surprised when Dean left again right after showing up in Jo's office for approximately 5 seconds, leaving Cas and a confused Jo behind.

She was sitting in her office chair, leaned back and her feet on the desk, Netflix on the computer, and a sleeping Claire in her lap.

"What's wrong with him?" She asked quietly to not wake up Claire.

"If I only knew," Cas sighed as an answer.

Jo was kind enough to drive the two of them back home, and after Cas had carried Claire to her bed and tucked her in her day clothes as she was, he soon went to his own bed, lying asleep, thinking about Dean and his weird behaviour, and that inexplicable kiss, and his reaction, and maybe, Cas thought, just maybe, all that was connected in some way.  
  


*  
  


Two days after the charity event, Cas returned to work. He had been nervous for both days straight about how Dean would act around him, but it soon turned out that Dean had left his strange mood behind, and he smiled at Cas just like he always did when he saw him that morning in the hallway. He even told him he was glad he was back and that it hadn't been the same without him.

None of them mentioned the charity dinner or anything that had happened there with even a word, and if Cas had his way they'd never have to address it at all.

The others greeted Cas happily as well, Jo, Charlie and Garth were there that day, and Cas got news on the album right when he entered the office.

Charlie called him over to show him the final album cover that now had been confirmed with Dean as well.

It turned out to be the same template that Cas had picked as well, with only slight changes. The colours were still the same, and so was Dean's photo on the right side, but they had made slight changes to the left side where the title was. Whereas in the first draft, the title had been in big white letters running down the side, it was now in a smaller font in on straight line on the hight of the middle of the cover, and directly above the white letters, they had added three stripes that looked pretty much like from a brush. Cas recognized the colours, it was the bisexual pride flag. That little nod to Dean's sexuality and current events made Cas smile, and he truthfully told Charlie that he loved it.

Then, Cas was right away assigned his next task. Garth, who was already working at it, quickly explained him what to do. They had gotten the draft for the CD’s booklet and now had to work through the lyrics again to make sure everything would be printed accurately and there wouldn't be any preventable mistakes in the final print.

Cas grasped the idea of what to do quite quickly and got to work with the pdf that was already on his laptop. Before he started checking the lyrics, though, he scrolled through the whole thing once to have a look at the design. When he reached the second to last page, he stopped.

"Hey, Garth?" He said without looking up from the screen.

"Yeah?"

"Didn't we have 13 songs on the album?"

"Oh," Garth said as if he only remembered that right now, "yeah, that was the state of play when you left for your break. Dean gave me one more to review like the last second before deadline. I said he's literally insane for doing that, but he insisted"

Now, Cas looked over to his colleague.

"He wrote another song?" He asked.

"Yeah," Garth replied. "Hell of a risky idea, if you ask me. He stormed in with it when you were gone just like a day. I had to pull an all-nighter on it to meet the deadline."

"He could've told me," Cas said, "I could've helped. Instead he tells me to take a break? What was he thinking?"

Cas saw Garth exchange a meaningful look with Charlie at the desk opposite him, and he couldn't understand why they did that or what the meaning behind it was, but before he could think about it anymore, Garth's answer came.

"No idea," he said. "It's a good song, though. He did a great job. I just wish he wouldn't have thrown it in last minute."

"Mh," Cas hummed and turned back to his screen. He zoomed the pdf in a bit more to be able to read the text better.

_Eyes Like the Sky_ , the title of the song read.


End file.
